The diary of a neurotic Latin american fatty

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Vanitasensei

Vanitasensei

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Hello everybody!
im new to this forum.. and im used to speaking spanish, so... yep, you'll read a lot of typos.
ok so where do we start... i need to make an introduction so everybody knows where i come from and where im heading to.

i come from a lifetime of self body shaming and i have no idea where im going, i just know i wanna be thin.

and yes i know i know... i should set goals and blah blah or maybe book an appointment with the psychologist cause i swear that whenever im in front of pizza i even forget who i am, i just know i wanna eat it. lol

I am from south america, ive always had a curvy body and always struggled with weight, i am turning 27 this month and i am above 183 pounds... maybe more.. not sure, im scared of the scale... seriously.
i got married in april last year and i moved to Canada. From being a full time banker to being a lazy ass housewife got me to this weight... not that i gained all that weight this past months, it took me 2 years to get to this point.

and now i just hate the woman that stares back at me in the mirror every day, i dont wanna get to a point of no return... so i decided to start doing something...

i bought some dvds to exercise and i am supposed to follow a meal plan... not sure how im gonna do it but ill try... i dont wanna get super strict with the meals cause if its crazy starvation i wont stick to it, plain and simple. it has to be doable for me.

today is my third day and i can barely walk... DAMN it hurts!! im sooo out of shape that even the "modified version" of the exercises is too hard for me... my legs are numb and it hurts to breathe lol
now more than ever i wished i lived in a single story house cause man.. im telling you, those stairs are impossible right now!!

anyway... this is me! and ill try to stick to this.
love you all.... (maybe. i still dont know you guys ok...?)
 
Hello from Texas. Its easy for the weight to creep on. All we can do is fight it. I should have been fighting it along time ago so trust me your not alone. There are some good people here so dont be afraid to let people know how your doing; good or bad. C ya around and the best of luck.

Rebel
 
Hey Sensei and welcome to the diaries :)
Sounds to me like you´re bored or insecure in your new surroundings. Either would make me eat like there´s no tomorrow!
Best of luck getting happy again,
LaMa.
 
Hola! Having spent a lot of time in Puerto Rico, I feel qualified to unload with my full Spanish knowledge. And that's about it.

I would imagine the transfer from South America to the Great White North is a shock, but surely there are things you can do up there? Teach Spanish? (or Portuguese if you're from Brazil?) Learn to play hockey?

Anyway, you'll find that there are a lot of supportive folks here, both new to the board and veterans. Take advantage!
 
Hi.

Welcome to the forum from someone else that lives in Canada. There is a lot of supportive people here. We are all or have been exactly where you are. Start slowly. Make small changes. With the exercise, do what you can. The more you do it the easier it becomes. We are here to support and help you.
 
Heya sweetie.

I totally understand how you feel about yourself. I am the same but we are both here and trying to do something about it. Exercising does hurt to start with but it's suprising how quickly you will feel stronger and it will become easier. Also, it will make you feel good in yourself.
Just keep posing every day, good or bad and we will all get you to the person you want to see in the mirror.
looking forward to following you on your journey :D

xoxo
 
GOOD MOOORRNING EVERYBODY! I know... is like 2 pm here on the west coast but I just got up so it's morning for me ok? Haha

That's another thing... my husband works nights and until I get a job for myself I have to be the good housewife and keep him company, so my day starts at 2 pm and I go to bed at around 5:30 a.m. So it's pretty messed up... it's hard for me to adapt to it and keep a "normal" meal schedule..

Anyway... THANK YOU ALL for your support!!! Today my muscles aren't that sore... they still hurt, but not to the point I wanna rip them off... so that's awesome!
I wanna do this a step at a time so I will slowly cut certain foods and incorporate other healthier choices. And to keep myself busy I will sign for a recreation centre that has swimming clases, hot tub, yoga,etc. So at least it will keep me
Distracted. Like LaMa said... I'm still not comfortable with my new surroundings so I eat my insecurities away lol

Oh and news flash! I actually checked my weight and is worse than I thought... I'm 88 kg... :O so I better start working on it!

ok then.. I better start working on my "21 day fix" DVD (I can't believe I've been doing it since Monday and haven't quit yet)

XOXO
 
Hi Vanita & welcome to the forum. There's nothing wrong with being curvy hon. It does sound like you need a distraction. Teaching Spanish sounds like a wonderful idea, even if only as a volunteer. Are you able to have paid work? I know there are all sorts of rules until you have permanent citizenship.
Vanitasensei said:
and now i just hate the woman that stares back at me in the mirror every day,
Click to expand...
This is what you need to start working on. It is really important to start respecting yourself & your body if you want to make positive changes. Work on that sweetie. Your body is your temple. Nurture & nourish it. Don't eat rubbish food. You can do this!
PS It looks like we were typing at the same time. Classes at the recreation centre sound like a great idea :D
 
Hello! I've been bad :(
I went to a Brazilian restaurant the other day and ate so much BBQ and later on I was very ashamed.

But back on tracks! I had a coffe this morning and a small bowl of yogurt and berries for breakfast.. now I am
Sitting on my couch deciding what to do next... work out or clean around the house.

I should also continue looking for jobs now that I got my work permit, and thank you for the Spanish lessons idea... i never thought about it!

I really wanna thank you all for the support! It makes the struggle easier!

Xoxo
 
i wanna tell you guys.. im a terrible cook.

BUT thank god for the short cooking videos on facebook! i made for lunch chicken with deluded soy sauce and honey, with bell peppers, onions and broccoli on a thin bed of rice and.. oh my god it was delicious!

my problem with cooking is that i have no ideas and i end up doing the same boring recipe over and over again... does anybody know a youtube channel or something like that where they teach you simple but yummy healthy recipes?

anyway... ill use the recipes on Tasty facebook site for now.
 
Great to hear you got your work permit! I personally love Sorted Food and Foodwishes. Also Brothers Green. All to be found on Youtube, they often do simple stuff and I´m pretty sure you can search on beginners´ recipes on their respective websites.
 
I'm a bit like you lovely, make the same recipes over and over again! You could do meal prep, so get a slowcooker and make stews, curries, chilli before hub comes home and then when you wake up it's all cooked and ready to go! I love that :D
 
You can also get Joy of Cooking and play Cookbook Roulette, where you flip the pages and stick your finger on a random recipe. Similar to (but not as fun as) Bartender's Guide Roulette.
 
Vanitasensei said:
I'm still not comfortable with my new surroundings so I eat my insecurities away lol
Click to expand...

I can definitely understand that. I've always been an emotional eater so when I first moved here to be with my (then girlfriend, now wife) I found myself eating A LOT of shit I shouldn't have been eating. And, it was mainly because I felt sooooo uncomfortable in my surroundings - a new state, a new town, new people, no friends, etc. The only thing that made me feel comfortable was food...so I ate it. And, I ate a lot of it. So, I can totally understand how you feel.

Anyway, welcome to the forum. Glad to have you. Don't let the "English isn't my first language" thing be an issue because it's not. Hell, most people on the Internet who speak English as a first language don't speak intelligently themselves so don't worry about it.
 
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