The cultural significance of media on body image

SparkErosion

SparkErosion

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A
Why does the media place so much on aesthetic appearance? After losing 101 lbs, I struggle with my body image. I posted this on the body dysmorhphia boards: r. I'm terrified of going swimming without a shirt on... Terrified! The past couple days I've been doing it anyway.. I realize I think people are taking me , which probably isn't true. I remind ed myself constantly, "women are NOT looking at you or checking you out, no one is." No one will notice the loose skin from losing 101 lbs. No one cares. It doesnt matter. People seem to always comment. I'm getting tired of it. At the pool, a person I was with said," you look pretty buff, you workout before in high school?" No one used to say when I was obese, , "your looking a bit fatter today." No. women would yell out the car, "fatty!" People told me I ooked like shrek. People teased me. I dont know why I feel this way, I feel vain.... Could I please get some feedback on this? I'm not sure what is causing this.
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Sorry if I'm being a bit dumb, but are you complaining that people are complimenting your body?


'Vain' may be a strong word to use when you still feel so insecure, but you should definitely enjoy the positive feedback. Let it buff your confidence. After being overweight for so long, maybe accepting a compliment is difficult for you.. I know Frogged has said he feels the same way! That said, you need to remind yourself that people usually comment on things that they themselves would like to achieve. There's not many people who want to be overweight, but there's plenty who would like to have the sort of body you have now. Being healthy is a good thing!


Again, sorry if I've misinterpreted what you wrote! (and, incidentally, I too think you look great!)
 
AOh I appreciate it. Thank you too. I confuse wanting to look good as wrong. Yeah frogged and I have that in common. It boosts my confidence but also feels ackward for some reason. I've always felt shy around women . I guess I just realized that I had the wrong idea... The advertisers place so much emphasis on appearance, perhaps to sell their product. I just wanted acceptance . I just feel like it didnt do anything. I'm still depressed and lack confidence to get in a relationship. I've never had one. I'm 24... I can't relate to most songs, I've never been in love. I feel like I'm missing out on life, ... I'm moving forward in colleage and life, but my relationship with my family, esp. My dad, is hard. I feel like I have no friends, family, or relationships.

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Heh, I personally think that the media puts too much empthasis on relationships than anything else! Honestly.. it's one of those things that you feel you're missing out on just because you don't have it yet. It will happen eventually! But basing your self worth on being in a relationship is a bad thing. A lot of my friends were in the same position at your age, feeling how you feel.. both male, and female. Now, they're all in relationships. It will happen when it happens! That said, it can't hurt to put yourself out there and sign up to some dating sites.. (can't find the exact link I read, but apparently 1/5 Americans met their partner online last year .. try http://www.news-record.com/content/2010/02/12/article/more_americans_are_finding_partners_online for some insight!) It gives you a chance to interact with others and get to know their personality a bit before making the leap, and is perfect for the more shy. :) Just saying, could be worth a try just for the experience of chatting!


And eh, you have more than acceptance now. People are admiring you for what you've done and how you look - that's nothing but a good thing. I don't even think a small amount of vanity is necessarily a bad thing, as long as if you're not a cocky douchebag about it. There's a BIG difference! Knowing you look good gives you confidence, and confidence gives you the ability to socialise better. It's why a new set of clothes often makes you feel sharper!


As for relationships.. you say you're moving forward in college.. do you mean you're going to a new one, or doing well with your exams? You say people are chatting to you and complimenting you at the pool - try and chat back! if you don't know them well, ask about their work, their family, their interests, etc etc.. you may find you have something in common! And you have nothing to lose by trying. :) It IS scary, but you're a good looking guy with a kind personality. Hopefully in a few years, you'll look back and wonder why you felt this way. Chin up!
 
AI just started, but I think I have the right ideas about the rhetorical concepts. I've been studying 6 hours everyday. I've been successful in my magic... I just feel like I'm missing the point of life. I've worked so hard, to the point sometimes I don't want to do anything else. I never can enjoy the process. Nothing is good though. I'm constantly stressed my work will be bad. At this point I'm not sure if sacrificing a relationship for my dreams is rational.. Something we're learning in rhetorical analysis, beware of logic fallicies. The logos is the reason, supported in the evidence of statistics, may be or may not be flawed. Can you trust the ethical appeal of the spokesperson? How was the data analyzed? Was a adequate audience used? For example, if madonna is a spokesperson for coca cola, and is unrelated to the product, (shes a singer.) This is a logical fallacy. She has nothing to do with coca cola, only appealing to the pathos of the audience, "you can be like me by drinking coke". Now if tiger woods legitimately endorsed golf clubs, the ethos of the spokesperson matches with the product. We have to be aware of our assumptions about the audience. You may not or may know what the rhetorical appeals are of a text: logos, pathos, and ethos. They all work together to make a persasive argument. This is used alot in advertising! Thanks again for your advice

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Hello Spark,


I agree that we are all exposed to too many "unrealistic" images of what an "ideal" body looks like.


We may understand, on a conscious level, that no one can tell us what an acceptable weight is nor how our body should look. Those are personal decisions and preferences.


Our personal decisions and preferences, however, have most likely been unduly influenced by the vast array of "perfect" body images we're flooded with. Screaming at us from every magazine cover, movie, television show, etc.


This poses challenges because the way our mind works is: we create neural pathways of cognition and, because of these pathways, we're largely divorced from a true flow of "free will" (in the traditional sense) because we simply revert to these pathways any time a subject arises. Unless we've become attuned to these habitual patterns of thought, we always follow them subconciously, completely unaware of their presence and authority. And we follow them whether they truly serve or not.


Meaning that, if we have created neural pathways of "My body is not okay", or "I am fat", or "I don't look like I'm supposed to", it takes a concerted effort and practice/patience to form new ones. With negative pathways like the ones described, the "default" thoughts and experiences will almost always be negative, regardless of whether other people are telling us we "look good" or not.


It sounds to me like you have largely reformed your body. Congratulations!


And now you can reform your mind. Which is an exciting journey and actually not an extremely difficult one!
 
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