The Anti Dualistic Slam Dunk Attempt

clever_plant

clever_plant

New member
So... After spending many a month pondering interesting things like "cheeseburger or chickenburger" and doing heavy mental gymnastics to enable me to eat the aforementioned chicken burger while knowing how the stuff that goes into chicken burger material is made, I decided to say "to hell with my inability to do correct punctuation" and start a diary here, use all the knowledge I've assimilated and du something about these things.

Naturally I spend a month or two doing the whole 600 kcal a day thing and failing and sobbing and rewatching star trek enterprise (yeh.. i was that far gone, everyone knows that TOS, TNG and DS9 are the only ones worth watching) but.. here I am.

I'm doing this diary things because I also want to journal how it affects my mental state since I have been gifted with a somewhat complicated head including a wonderful clinical depression, social fobia and various bad behavioral patterns formed because of those :)

So... after the aforementioned failing miserably and such I started, 3 days ago, with the following sort of strategy.

1: I go to the gym and do a program that the very friendly physiotherapist (yes, an actual educated one, not a kiroquack or some such thing) made for me that is centered around me not ever having done anything like this before, and increasing health. (No massive muscle whatever or super fat burning, just health.. this is a two prong thing for me)

2: Eating arooound 1200-1500 calories a day. I am still unsure as to whether this is too little but after reading both tons of stuff here, some articles on how much energy ones body can use / kg of body fat / day etc. (sadly no pubmed links for me, makes me a sad panda when people don't cite sources) i think this is in the right area.

Now... I don't really.. the whole "I will eat precisely THIS every day" thing.. isn't for me.. I really genuinely love my senses, taste being one of them so I'm just gonna count the calories of what I eat and then make sure I end up between 1200 and 1500 kcal.

So far I've been to the gym every day since I started, 2 days worth of weight thing stuff and 1 day of just doing some random non-muslce-trashing ecliptical machine stuff and while I felt terribly sorry for myself on day 1 and 2 about the food.. today I've actually not really been that hungry. I discovered buckwheat porridge for breakfast and man.. a bowl of that will make you feel like you're full for hours on end. And then I just went for a carrot, coli flower, broccoli sort of tom yom stir fry thing and.. much to my surprise I am.. full..

Also I've been surprisingly happy today... i actually did the dishes and called a friend and said "hi, how are you" etc.. twas quite amazing.. I like this dieting training thing!

Oh.. and instead of 3-4 liters of coke i drink water and coffee instead (you'll never take my coffee from me.. especially since its the only thing I have after quitting the damn cigarettes.)

Anyways.. this whole writing thing feels a bit self absorbed but then.. tis the anonymous internet.. I guess I can be as self absorbed as I damn well feel like.. and yeah.. anyways... I guess.. status is
 
To be honest? I think that calorie count is low. What is your weight and height? Just on the norm of doctor advice, you are on the very low end WITH exercise included. It might be too steep of a drop off to start with.
 
So.. even if "1200 - 1500" mainly means.. like.. 1500.. .thats still too low?

Oh.. and btw.. I am 1.83 tall and weighs around 103 kg. and I believe .. that that was the info needed :)
 
How dare they!

I feel so cheated, used and somewhat inquisitive

So... after merrily milling away on the elliptical machine that, while they claim it is good, low impact etc, makes me feel somewhat ridiculous, and working up an amazing 1500 calorie burn (says the machine) I go home and feel suspicious. I mean.. sure.. i felt like tipping over and drank 1 liter of water and such afterwards, and I was sweating for like.. 40 minutes after stepping down too.. but still.. 1500 calories... really? I guess not. After reading about a bazillion people on the net going "oh.. i know.. its 15% this, 10% that and bleh bleh" i decided to ask my most trustworthy friend pubmed.. and wouldn't you know.. the friendly people over at barry university and they came up with basically "je nais ce pas"... shees.. so how am I gonna put this elliptical training into my calorie counting spreadsheet to figure out how many kinder maxi kings I've earned...

I want precise numbers, precise data, i want information and not woo woo and anecdotes.. and I find it somewhat disheartening that even the people at the gym apparently thinks that the multiple of anecdote is data, and not anecdotes.

Also today i woke up thinking "omg.. I'm so happy.. i get to eat food now.. yeehaw" which made the buckwheat porridge taste.. wonderful.. with a little cinnamon, salt and sugar in it (a little.. not a "little") made with low fat milk.. I'm telling you all.. its like eating desert and it has all the good amino acids, calcium, fibers, vitamins.. and yeah.. thats just a good breakfast.
 
for the numbers your looking for, get hold of a heart rate monitor with all of your data entered into it correctly then go for it on your elliptical, at the end of it you should have the calories burned on your monitor. The amount you burn is a personal thing and not something that most machines can spit back at you without the right information about you to start with.
 
Okay.. time for an update I guess, at least to keep myself interested in my.. own.. oh.. now I'm confusing myself

Physical stuff (teh boring part)
I have been at the gym 5-6 days a week since I started, I am getting somewhat sick of the weight machines and I've scheduled a day with the physiotherapist at the gym (yeah.. the gym is awesome, all the employees are educated physiotherapists and/or trainers, not the skinny blonde 2-weeks-of-education sort) to get me moved over on free weights instead of the horrible machines.

I've lost app. 1kg/week since I started which seems reasonable for someone my size and so everything is pretty much moving along nicely. My new best friend is 500g bags of frozen coliflower, broccoli and carrot, and who would have known that being outdoorsy would be good for your diet, I've been catching plenty of cod, flat fish (no idea what the english name is) and some other very tasty, and aparently healthy, things :)

I have gained massive amounts of raw muscle... well no I know but I can actually see that the fat is running off my arms and well.. that or it might be psychosomatic but somehow I feel more.. good looking.

Oh well.. enough of the physical part.

Psychic stuff
Now this part is where it really is... well... and I ought to know this but they always say that doctors are the worst patients and I guess that it is true. Anyways... Man... It feels like my comfort zone when it comes to social activities and the amount of people in a room and such things have improved VASTLY. I can go for a walk and smile at people and perhaps only think "man how fat do they think I am... I'm such a pathetic looser" once or twice per fifteen minutes.. it is .. such a relief :) Effexor is good, it enables me to function, but working out is awesome, it enables me to enjoy functioning.

So, to enhance my enjoyment of living further I will this tuesday be beginning the C25K on my non-weight-training-days which will be my new cardio thing :)

I am also, btw, finding things like opening the mail, dealing with life and such things much more easy and well... pleasant :) This is ... so cool
 
Very interesting posts. I have depression as well but am not on an SSRI. I'm on Molipaxin, which is kind of an old medication which mostly helps with anxious thoughts and getting to and staying asleep.

It does make me very drowsy in the daytime and that's been my excuse for not exercising. I'm very motivated by your post because you are a cynic (a good thing!) and don't just jump on the bandwagon. I am quite resistent to going to the gym at my current size (I'm female, 41yo, 5'7" and about 209lbs). I just can't seem to make myself exercise every day or even some days.

I've been eating well for a week but have only exercised today for the first time. Any hints on how to get motivated for exercise? I am starting from zero. Never had any fitness level whatsoever so have nothing to fall back on. Have gotten to goal weight before (143lbs) but that was all through diet - no exercise!

This time, in order to be certain this is the last time I do this, I need to exercise. Today I did an 8min abs on youtube and a beginners (really really beginners) aerobics vid on youtube for another 8min.

That's a good start for me which is rather pathetic, but there ya go.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated on how to get the head space and motivation to exercise.
 
Well first off, thanks for the very warming comment :) Regarding the whole depression, are you getting any sort of therapy? I know the treatment regimes are very different depending on where you live but I believe the most recent large-scale studies actually show that cognitive therapy along with whatever medication works for you, is sort of a force-mutiplyer for treating depression. Might be worth considering at least :)

Ah yes, healthy skepticism is the only way to relate to the world, I can imagine you have, like me, recieved many a good advice from "friends" (and friends) who knows about how green tea, prancing around with sticks, shark-fin-bone-powder and what not will absolutely help your depression, I know I have :)

When it comes to exercise... I mean.. when you read the stickies and all the stuff around the intarwebs you sort of get a feeling that if you don't do it exactly right you're not doing anything at all... but.. really.. anything is better than nothing. So for starters I'd say anything that is movement is better than non-movement :) With motivation a lot of it for me has to do with sort of.. well... a couple of things. Even a non-brisk walk makes me feel better than just sitting there does, and doing something that actually exhausts me makes me feel so damn good afterwards. Thats one part.. and then..I guess the knowledge that skinny non-exercising people are very much unhealthy too. So the motivation comes in part from.. health I gues.. and once I'd been doing it for a week or so.. from how much easier life is now :)

Also I find that a good dose of 70's disco (motown can be used as an alternative) puts me in the right mood for a good bout of.. moving about :)

And you know what.. congrats on getting them ab things done, that is .. actually infinitely times more activity, than no activity. (mathematically true story!) So you go girl! :)

Ain't nothing pathetic about it... you should have seen me the first day in the gym.. the friggin trainer wanted me to do 10 minutes on the elliptical monster machine at like.. some ridiculous resistance and he was all "so we're gonna start you out real ez" and I felt like i was dying from both exhaustion and embarassment :) every step counts.

I think... no matter how you twist and turn it people like us (I'm going with the whole overweight and depressed groupthink thing here) who already feels like crap when people are looking at us, will feel even worse at the gym.. I mean.. lighter tighter clothes, thats HELLLISH... skinny people all over the place looking all perky and happy and... "I-feel-good-about-myself"'ish.. it is.. HELL.. but.. I .. I promise you that after a little while, and it isn't long, you sort of just.. zone it out.. adapt.. whatever one would call it. I'm unsure as to whether it is a defense mechanism that you just sort of... go numb because of the anxiety or what it is but.. it happens... promise :)

Oh .. thats all the words I have for now

Best regards
-Me
 
Hi

I like you way too much even from your few comments. While people have talked about the damaging effects of eating too few calories, they've never plummed the depths that is Star Trek Enterprise. Hopefully your important warning will save others in the future!

Good luck!
 
Last edited:
Thanks so much for the encouragement. I've decided I'm going to grin and bear the embarrassment by going to boxercise (all women) which is a pay as you go thing with a small number of participants and then move my way up.

I did 20min on the bike this morning and an hour of boxercise this evening. Not too shabby!

I find you really motivating and you're clever too which makes me want to follow you even more. No, I'm not a stalker!

:)
 
Couch to 5K and the pleasures of running
So today I started on the C25K thing, it is all the rage and very popular with the kids and I so want to be young and fresh so obviously I threw myself at it.. and well you know how we hear about this "runners high" and "addiction to running" and... like.. how wooonderful it is... man.. I hope that stuff is something that is a bit down the road, because all I felt today was pain, regret, embarasment, more pain, sweat, pain, horror... and well... did I mention pain? But feck me I survived... which was wonderful.

I'm pretty optimistic about getting into it again the day after tomorrow... I mean... after all ...running 5k seems like such a complete and utter dream... like.. something those good looking happy people do when they feel like it... in matching jogging suits... smiling.. with their disgustingly inbred little dog alongside them... i want to be those people so .. yeah.

Oh.. if anyone reads this and is considering going with the C25K.... for your own sake, and anyone living with you, stretch... stretch like there is NO tomorrow when you get through your first day. I don't mean 1 minute stretching either.. I mean serious business, and remember to take care of your feet!

Oh and I suppose it is all worth it... I'll feel good in a few weeks, I'll be soooo healthy and smiiiiling and tit and tat and such..

but fuck... running is serious business.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top