Tanyajp's Diary of Pain

[tanyajp]

Hello

Well, it's time for me to try and lose weight but also re-educate myself to eat less fat and exercise more, otherwise the weight is just going to go straight back on (as it usually does!). I'm hoping that keeping a food diary and the ups and downs of my eating will help me achieve my goal.

I am 38, 5 foot 5 and currently weigh 149 pounds. During most of my 20's I was about 125 pounds (happy days!) and then in my 30's I averaged 140 pounds. I was relatively happy with this, and when I went up a bit I was always able to cut back and lose it pretty quickly. In the last year or two I have struggled to maintain an even weight and the last time I tried to lose weight I couldn't shift a thing. Now I am at my heaviest again and desperately want to get back down to a level I'm happy with and be able to keep it at that.

I started with the basic questions.........:

-- How much weight do you want to lose?
Initially I would like to lose 9 pounds (to get me back to where I started at the beginning of the year), and then I would like to lose another 9 pounds to the ideal weight for my size

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?
I would like to lose the first 9 pounds by the beginning of September, and the remaining 9 by the end of 2011
-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)? Lower calorie/far intake, reduce alcohol consumption and exercise more

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?
Friends and family - boyfriend is supportive but struggles to understand the concept of losing weight as he is tall and thin and can eat anything!
-- How realistic is your goal?
I think it's realistic, but I know I will find it difficult
-- When will you start?
I started yesterday!!

I'm basing my calories on a resting consumption of 1400 calories per day (based on age, height, sex and activity) and will aim to burn a further 500 calories with walking and running (I have never been able to run so I'm going to tackle this issue too, in an attempt to have a form of exercise that I can fit into my daily routine). So to lose a pound a week I will limit myself to between 1200 and 1500 calories a day, no alcohol during the week, a minimum of 10000 steps per day (either walking or learning to run).

Food Diary for yesterday - to get me up to date....

Breakfast
Special K and skimmed milk - 170
Tea with skimmed milk -15
Snacks
Handful dried Special K - 30
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Lunch
Baked potato and spaghetti hoops - 335
Snacks
Tea with semi-skimmed milk - 20
Chocolate wafer biscuit – 25
Marmite - 10
Dinner
Sushi – 5 pieces nigri, 3 wontons, 1 miso soup – 600

Wish me luck.............

 

[tanyajp]

run forest run

Well, Day 2 went really well, kept to the calories and also went on my first "learn to run" session (how I can't run age 38 is quite scary!!).

Breakfast
Special K and skimmed milk - 170
Tea with skimmed milk -15
Snacks
Handful dried Special K - 30
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Lunch
Baked potato and spaghetti hoops - 335
Snacks
Cup a soup – 95
Marmite - 5
Dinner
Steak in a wholemeal pitta - 450
3 x gelfilte fish balls – 75

Total: 1190 Cal
10,000 steps (half of which running)

The scales were clearly having an off day today (or an on day?) as I was 147.4 this morning, which I don't believe - nice as it was to see!!

Today should be another good day I hope, busy at work so no time to think about snacking, just need to try and get through a Friday evening without a glass (or bottle) of wine. Friends over for dinner tomorrow night so that will be a disaster calorie wise (no point kidding myself), so hoping that I can make up for it by being extra good for the rest of the weekend.

Feeling very positive, especially after managing the first run (to be fair it was half walk, half run - I'm THAT unfit), so hope to keep that up and maybe next year I could think about doing Race for Life.

Fingers crossed for the weekend, looking forward to this lifestyle becoming natural rather than forced and painful!!

 

[tanyajp]

Day 3, 4 and 5........

Day 3
Breakfast
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Low fat yoghurt – 75
Blueberries - 75
Snacks
Blueberries – 35
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Lunch
9 x gelfilte fish balls – 225
6 x melba toast – 70
Crab pate - 100
Dinner
Venison burger in foccacia – 250
Rosemary potatoes – 150
Baked beef tomato – 50

Total: 1060
10,000 steps

Day 4
Breakfast
Wholemeal toast and marmite - 150
Lunch
Scrambled egg on foccacia - 300
Snacks
Miscellaneous tasting as preparing for dinner party - 200
Dinner
Too much - slow roast pork in soy, garlic mash, veg and riddiculous amounts of canapes - probably 1000 at least
Alcohol
Hmmm, a bottle of sparkling rose - 800? - Ouch

Total: 2450 – oh dear!!
5,000 steps (mostly running)

Day 5
Breakfast
Left over canapés - 250
Lunch
Herring on crackers, left over canapes - 350
Dinner
Mackerel in soy sauce with veg in light cheese sauce - 600

Total: 1200
5,000 steps

Overall, not too bad - the running was very difficult, but I have bought a nice new running outfit to keep me motivated!!

Weigh in this morning was 146.2 - Yay!!

This week shouldn't be too bad, no working lunches and only one night out on Thursday where no doubt way too much alcohol will be consumed!!

I know the first week is the easiest as the weight goes down quickly so I shall have to lower my expectations for the upcoming weeks, but every pound counts!!

 

[tally]

Good job on the progress! Also I really think your goals are realistic which is really nice to see. I treat myself to a lot of workout clothing especially anything that is under armour since I really like taking stuff off and not being sweaty underneath the clothing!

I think the reason why you lose weight so fast in the beginning weeks is just to encourage you to keep going lol I know I really enjoyed seeing those numbers go down! Your food is looking really healthy!

 

[tanyajp]

Good job on the progress! Also I really think your goals are realistic which is really nice to see. I treat myself to a lot of workout clothing especially anything that is under armour since I really like taking stuff off and not being sweaty underneath the clothing!

I think the reason why you lose weight so fast in the beginning weeks is just to encourage you to keep going lol I know I really enjoyed seeing those numbers go down! Your food is looking really healthy!

Thanks Tally - it's great to get some feedback and motivation, and to find a kindered spirit who likes to shop!! I've come down with a rotten cold today so am fighting the urge to eat everything in sight (my usual reaction to having a cold!!). I really hope that I'm recovered enough tomorrow to go out for a run (well, walk and run!) as I am actually looking forward to it, this is a very strange feeling for me as I have always HATED exercise as I've always been so terrible at it. I'm in awe of your weekly exercise, I think it will be some time before I will be able to manage that level, but hopefully one day!

Anyway, yesterday was good...

Breakfast
Special K and skimmed milk - 200
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Snack
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Chocolate wafer - 25
Lunch
Baked potato with spaghetti hoops - 235
Dinner
Seafood linguine - 600
Sharon fruit - 100

Total: 1190
12,000 steps (including run)

Today, also good (despite cold)
Breakfast
Fruit and low fat yoghurt - 175
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Lunch
2 foccacia rolls with crab pate and radish - 350
Snack
Squid rings - 30
Dinner
Venison in focaccia roll with rosemary potatoes - 450

Total: 1020
3,000 steps (spent most of the day asleep!)

Weigh in this morning was 146, very happy!!

Fingers crossed I'll feel better tomorrow!!

 

[tanyajp]

End of week one

Very pleased with my progress this week, but know that 1) I've reached a weight that is always stubborn to get past and 2) the first week is always easy as the weight comes off quickly, and so next week might be harder to stay motivated.

Yesterday I went for another run - have moved up to running for a minute and half at a time (harsh!). At the moment I can't imagine how I will even be able to run for 10 mins continuously, but I must stay confident that it will eventually happen.

Eating was good, the virus/cold had slightly disappeared so I managed to avoid stuffing my face, phew...

Breakfast
One wholemeal toast and marmite - 110
Sharon fruit - 100
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Snack
Squid rings - 55
Lunch
Baked potato with prawns and low fat mayo - 300
Dinner
Chicken and spring veg - 400 (felt hungry again after an hour)
Snack
2 x crispbreads with herring and low fat laughing cow - 200

Total: 1180
Steps: 3,000 (pretty inactive as still off work feeling a bit ropey but managed a running session)

Weigh in yesterday was 146.4 and this morning was 146, so 3.5 pounds lost during this first week. I now won't weigh myself until next week as I know I get very depressed when I see it going up and down. Last time I dieted I managed not to weigh myself for 4 weeks, but not sure I've got the will power to do that this time....

Today's eating so far has been good but it's about to go a bit Pete Tong as I'm off to meet the girls for drinks.....I could lie to myself and say that I'll drink diet coke, but frankly that is never going to happen, so I shall accept that this will be a bad day (and enjoy it!!)

Cocktails here I come....Yay!!!

 

[emsahib]

did you have a fun night out? well done on your progress so far, I know what you mean about not knowing how to run, when I first joined the gym I felt too self conscious to run on the running machines and a bit scared! It was weird enough walking on them to begin with. I feel more confident and comfortable on the cross trainer though. Do you go running outside?

 

[tanyajp]

did you have a fun night out? well done on your progress so far, I know what you mean about not knowing how to run, when I first joined the gym I felt too self conscious to run on the running machines and a bit scared! It was weird enough walking on them to begin with. I feel more confident and comfortable on the cross trainer though. Do you go running outside?

Great night out thanks, and amazingly managed not to drink too much so I survived without a hangover and the need to consume my bodyweight in carbs and lard the next day!! Yes I do run outside, I have run on a treadmill before and used to be able to manage about 20 mins, but I've never been able to run outside before (and I can no longer afford gym fees!!) so this is a bit of a challenge!! The last few days have been a struggle as I've had a virus so I'm looking forward to being back to full health and moving forward!!

 

[tanyajp]

Right, a few days to catch up on....

After feeling better on Thursday i went back downhill again on Friday and the weekend, so it's been a struggle to keep up the exercise. Haven't felt too hungry though so the eating has been fairly easy...

Thursday
Breakfast
Fruit mix - 110
Tea with skimmed milk - 20
Snack
Cheesy puff - 155
Lunch
Baked potato, tuna and beans - 400
Snack
Tea and biscuit - 50
Dinner
2 cocktails and glass of wine - 500 (yum yum)
Hummous, baba ganoush and pitta bread - 300

Total 1735
15000 steps

Friday
Breakfast
Bagel and marmite/peanut butter - 250
Tea with skimmed milk- 20
Lunch
Prawn sarnie and 4 gelflite fish balls - 390
Tea with skimmed milk - 20
Dinner
Steak tartare, salad and oven chips - 500
Passion fruit - 25

Total: 1205
Steps - 10,000

Saturday
Brunch
Foccacia with scrambled egg - 350
tea with skimmed milk - 15
Dinner
Seabream, swede/carrot mash and aubergine bake - 450
Naughties
Flake - 175
2 glasses of wine - 250

Total 1240
Steps - pretty much nothing, slept most of the day due to virus

Sunday
Brunch
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Foccacia with scrambled egg and refried beans - 400
Dinner
Noodle/egg stirfry with squid - 400
Passionfruit - 25
Naughties
2 glasses wine - 250

Total: 1090
Steps: 4,000 (including running)

So, overall not too bad, I am going to recalculate my calories etc after I weigh myself on Wednesday. Fingers crossed I get rid of this virus and then I can get on top of the running again.

 

[emsahib]

Great night out thanks, and amazingly managed not to drink too much so I survived without a hangover and the need to consume my bodyweight in carbs and lard the next day!!

Well done!

Yes I do run outside, I have run on a treadmill before and used to be able to manage about 20 mins, but I've never been able to run outside before (and I can no longer afford gym fees!!) so this is a bit of a challenge!! The last few days have been a struggle as I've had a virus so I'm looking forward to being back to full health and moving forward!!

Hope you feel better, my mum always used to make me a honey and lemon drink when I was ill, kinda like a homemade lemsip. You warm a pint of orange juice with dissolvable asprin in a saucepan on a low heat and add about a teaspoon of honey perhaps and a squeeze of lemon juice. I know some people do a similar drink also adding ginger.

I admire you for being able to run outside. Do you run with a group of people? I get so sweaty and red in the face when I work out lol, but I don't mind so much being red and sweaty at the gym. Think I'd feel more self conscious being red and sweaty outside, although I guess if you're running people don't see you for that long anyway. Plus I've got about a 5 min walk back from the gym to my place anyway.

Also do you find it easy counting calories? How long have you been doing it for?

 

[tanyajp]

I run on my own - at the moment I'm so terrible that I wouldn't put anyone else through the pain of running with me, as I have to stop every minute and half!! Once I get to the point that I can run 10 mins in one go then I will get my boyfriend to come out with me, or my friend that lives just round the corner. Fortunately we have a park a couple of mins from the house and lots of people use it for running, walking etc, so I'm not too self conscious running there (or I'm past caring!!LOL).

BTW, what's your dissertation on? I worked in IT for about 8 years after doing my first degree (Business Studies) and hated it so went back and did a 2nd degree in 2003 (Restoration and Conservation) so the memory of writing dissertations and major projects is still quite vivid (despite being 4 or 5 years ago now!!). I loved the degree (less drinking and partying this time round!!) and would like to go back and do a masters, but can't really afford to give up the salary - poo!!

Woke up in a terrible mood this morning - not helped by my first weigh in of the week (I like to weigh over three days and take an average to avoid fluctuations) as I was only down .4 of a pound grrrrrrrrr. Am hoping that I'm having a heavy day and it will be better tomorrow - but I should know that the 2nd week is hard (it always is) and it will come off eventually.

I don't find the calorie counting too hard, although it raises our food bill quite a bit as I tend to buy stuff from M&S - oops!! I stick to a limited number of options for brekkie (cereal, toast and marmite, or fruit and low fat yoghurt) lunch (baked potato and spaghetti hoops, foccacia and crab pate, brown pitta and prawns) and then dinner I'm a bit more flexible (keep bf happy!) so try and get a mix of chicken, lean steak, fish and seafood. The hardest part is not snacking - at work there's a big culture of tea and biscuits and I find it really hard not to give in to temptation!!

Are you a veggie?

Right, I'd better update my food diary for the day - and then get on with some work - lol!!

 

[tanyajp]

Not so good

Hard day yesterday, was one of those days when I just wanted to eat everything and anything in sight....STILL felt a bit crap so the run was hard work, in fact only managed half the usual - but I'm going to go out again tonight, not that I'm feeling any better today - bored of illness now!!

Monday
Breakfast
Cereal and skimmed milk - 200
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Snack
Biscuit - 40
Tea with skimmed milk x 2 - 30
Lunch
Baked potato, tuna and beans - 415
Snack
Chocolate biscuit and a small piece of cookie - 120
Dinner
Seafood linguine - 450
Sharan fruit - 100

Total: 1370
Steps: 10,000 (with a short run)

Bit low this morning (combination of bad sleep, feeling crap) and scales say 10, 5.4 - was hoping for a bit more, but nevermind - stay POSITIVE!!

 

[emsahib]

I run on my own - at the moment I'm so terrible that I wouldn't put anyone else through the pain of running with me, as I have to stop every minute and half!! Once I get to the point that I can run 10 mins in one go then I will get my boyfriend to come out with me, or my friend that lives just round the corner. Fortunately we have a park a couple of mins from the house and lots of people use it for running, walking etc, so I'm not too self conscious running there (or I'm past caring!!LOL).

BTW, what's your dissertation on? I worked in IT for about 8 years after doing my first degree (Business Studies) and hated it so went back and did a 2nd degree in 2003 (Restoration and Conservation) so the memory of writing dissertations and major projects is still quite vivid (despite being 4 or 5 years ago now!!). I loved the degree (less drinking and partying this time round!!) and would like to go back and do a masters, but can't really afford to give up the salary - poo!!

Woke up in a terrible mood this morning - not helped by my first weigh in of the week (I like to weigh over three days and take an average to avoid fluctuations) as I was only down .4 of a pound grrrrrrrrr. Am hoping that I'm having a heavy day and it will be better tomorrow - but I should know that the 2nd week is hard (it always is) and it will come off eventually.

I don't find the calorie counting too hard, although it raises our food bill quite a bit as I tend to buy stuff from M&S - oops!! I stick to a limited number of options for brekkie (cereal, toast and marmite, or fruit and low fat yoghurt) lunch (baked potato and spaghetti hoops, foccacia and crab pate, brown pitta and prawns) and then dinner I'm a bit more flexible (keep bf happy!) so try and get a mix of chicken, lean steak, fish and seafood. The hardest part is not snacking - at work there's a big culture of tea and biscuits and I find it really hard not to give in to temptation!!

Are you a veggie?

Right, I'd better update my food diary for the day - and then get on with some work - lol!!

I'm sure the weight will go, at least its in the right direction anyway Plus I think its actually good to keep weighing yourself, if I feel like I've been a bit naughty I always want to stay away from the scales, so weighing at least stops us all being in denial lol. Plus you must have a good set of scales mine doesn't have a decimal place!

Yup I'm a veggie have been since I was about 13. My bf is as well, actually he became a veggie because of me though at first just to make it easier for us to eat meals together, now he's a veggie completly cos he wants to be.

My dissertation (which I should really do some work to! lol) is something along the lines of What creates monsters? I will probably come up with a better title. I'm also interested in the idea of the soul as well and inner demons. The books I'm waiting for are Dracula, Jekyll and Hyde, and A picture of Dorian Grey. Would be cool to do something on mad scientists as well. We don't actually do that many essays as well, as its an art degree, only did one essay last year, and that was a struggle! What did you do for your dissertation?

It's lovely weather (when its not raining) to be running in. Must be nice view as well in the park. Plus its free which means more money to be spent on m and s food.

 

[tanyajp]

Quick update today, busy busy busy...

Yesterday's food

Breakfast
Cereal and skimmed milk - 200
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Lunch
2 x foccacia rolls, one with crab pate, other with fish stuff - 400
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Dinner
Aubergine bake, breaded scallops and cabbage - 450

Total: 1080 - oops, didn't realise it was that low - I need to up the calories, think I'm heading too low.
Steps: 12,000 (including a run - nearly killed me)

Weight loss for the week confirmed on the scales this morning, only .4 of a pound (boo hoo), so am now at 10 stone 5.6 but onwards and downwards, I'm sure it will be better next week.

Must stay motivated, I'm really bad at giving up as soon as the weight loss slows down, will go with the theory of one week weight loss, the next inch loss and so on. Definitely feel slimmer so must be good.

 

[tanyajp]

My dissertation (which I should really do some work to! lol) is something along the lines of What creates monsters? I will probably come up with a better title. I'm also interested in the idea of the soul as well and inner demons. The books I'm waiting for are Dracula, Jekyll and Hyde, and A picture of Dorian Grey. Would be cool to do something on mad scientists as well. We don't actually do that many essays as well, as its an art degree, only did one essay last year, and that was a struggle! What did you do for your dissertation?

Ooh, nothing as exciting as yours I'm afraid - it was on the use of replica's in Museums (on display, for teaching etc) - although it was interesting to research. Good luck, we had to write tons of essays/reports, I was sick of it by the end, but actually quite miss it now - sick huh!!

 

[tanyajp]

OK, upped the calories yesterday (sadly not with anything particularly healthy!)

Wednesday

Breakfast
Foccacia roll with marmite and peanut butter - 170
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Snack
Cookie - 150
Tea with skimmed milk - 15
Lunch
Baked potato and spaghetti hoops - 325
Snack
Squid rings and a fish ball - 50
Mini popadoms and pea/wasabi dip - 75
Venison burger in foccacia with mozzarella - 250
Rosemary potatoes - 150
Chocolate dessert - 150

Total: a whopping 1350!!
10,000 steps

Looking forward to lunch out today with a friend- meeting at a Hummus bar - it'll be more than I usually have for lunch, but still a healthy option.

STILL got a bit of the virus so running is hard but I will go tonight, and then the next session will be on Sunday as out for drinks/dinner on Friday night so anticipating huge hangover on Saturday - hee hee

 

[tanyajp]

Ooh dear, I'm way behind!!

Summary -

Thursday - good, upped my calories slightly to 1300 - did 10,000 and a run
Friday - good foodwise (1300 cals), terrible alcoholwise (and dignity wise) so probably 1200 calories - plus another 1000 for alcohol (ouch). It was a friends leaving do, it was great - what I remember of it that is!!
Saturday - hungover to hell- therefore BAD foodwise - started with a fryup, but then only a small snack for lunch and a healthy dinner - and of course felt too terrible to drink anything, so small consolation!! NO exercise, frankly it was all I could do to stay vertical.
Sunday - healthy generally, although had a couple of glasses of wine as parents came for lunch - so maybe 1500 cals. Not many steps but did manage a run
Monday - so far so good -
Breakfast - cereal and a grapefruit and 2 x tea - 330
Lunch - hummus and falafel salad - no idea, maybe 500?

Hopefully should get up to 10,000 steps.

Fully expect to have put on (or not dropped) weight this week - I certainly don't feel like anything has shifted, and a couple of bad days usually kills any progress.

MUST try and stay motivated, I get VERY demoralised when the loss stops (usually in week 2 or 3) and this is often when I give up.

 

[espressowhip]

You're so hard on yourself! It's not like you're making 2000 calorie missteps!! Dinner with the folks is always toxic, that's where we learn to eat! Don't sweat it, just pick back up where you know you should be and try to do better next time.

Stay motivated!

 

[Tamaraphipps]

I feel your pain

This really struck a chord with me. It can be tough. But if I really want it somehow I can switch in that mind over matter thing. It's also a matter of letting myself down if I don't go through with the regime. I found The Only Diet That Always Works, which I recently came across on the net, a tremendous support. It doesn't tell you to choose skimmed milk, but you'd feel like a naughty girl if you did. Do you know what I mean? Otherwise just sound common sense. It's a very small book, but it could help.



To make a diet work, I find I have to count everything - cal in and cal out. But I don't want to look obsessive. My husband supports me, but not enough. I don't want to look weird. Do you know what I mean?

 

[tanyajp]

You're so hard on yourself! It's not like you're making 2000 calorie missteps!! Dinner with the folks is always toxic, that's where we learn to eat! Don't sweat it, just pick back up where you know you should be and try to do better next time.

Stay motivated!

Thanks - it's nice to know people are out there reading and take the time to give support, I really appreciate it. I know I won't stop trying and I AM getting more comfortable with accepting the odd slip and getting back on the wagon - I just find it very frustrating how a couple of bad meals in an otherwise healthy week can make so much difference!

Managed not to snack at all (amazing considering all the cakes that were on offer at work) and for dinner had....

Pork loin and mash in a shallot sauce with raisins - 500

Steps - almost 9,000 (it was raining a lot!)
Total cals 1350 ish