lungsfortherace
New member
I've been lurking and posting here and there for a while, but I've just not decided to start a diary. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I'm eschewing my work responsibilities; I have an unreasonable stack of papers to grade and seven letters of recommendation to write. Thankfully I have until Friday to finish the letters. Either way, here I am starting my weight loss diary.
So, a number of weeks back I posted this really long introduction in the introduction section. Now I figured I'd paste it here since I will be keeping a diary.
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First of all, I'd just like to thank everyone who has been posting their respective before and after pictures as well as everyone who has written about their setbacks on the weight loss or maintenance journey. I've found so much of what I've read (and seen) on this site very inspiring.
My name is Tamara. A few weeks ago I returned from a trip overseas with a very good friend. We were in Morocco and Spain for roughly six weeks, and as you can imagine, we took lots of pictures. Every time my friend snapped a shot of me I'd demand to see the picture on the camera's screen. And nine times out of ten I'd either find myself completely disgusted or make him take the picture over or both. My point is, I am sick of being fat and sick of feeling unattractive (though that's an entirely different issue, I think), and sick of being out of shape and sick of looking around the room to ensure I'm not the fattest girl there.
Back in April, I thought I was sick of being fat. So I joined the Y, which is right by my house. We have to walk across the street and then through a sort of large undeveloped lot and then we're in the Y's parking lot. My boyfriend, who is also overweight (more so than me) and I got a family plan. We went solidly for two weeks and then I injured myself (doh!). I lost all motivation and just couldn't pick myself up after the pain in my keen had subsided. At that time, my boyfriend wasn't really on board like he is now. In fact, we've talked about eating (obviously) a lot in the last few days/weeks. When I told him that I'm sometimes, for a split second, tempted to binge or eat something I shouldn't eat, I just remember that it's absolutely not worth it. He agreed with me 100%, thankfully.
This time, I really am sick of being fat. And, fortunately, so is my boyfriend. He has been overweight most of his life, though for about five years he was extremely thin. When we met, in fact, he was very thin and I was easily 10 pounds lighter than I am now. That was nearly five years ago. The last time I was thin was when I was 11 or 12. Realizing I've been overweight for 2/3 of my life is upsetting, but I'm not discouraged.
I've gained weight for a couple of reasons. 1. I was a stress eater. However, 1. is now out. I've decided to take control of myself and not allow stress to affect me that way. 2. I eat when I'm bored. I'm a grazer. Or, I was. I've changed that too. (I've discovered eating 6 small meals a day is any easy way to avoid snacking because some days I feel like I just never stop eating even though I'm eating those six meals at precise times during the day.) 3. My therapist helped me discover that "I like being fat" as a means of protecting myself. Yeah, yeah. I was molested as a kid and raped as an adult, so now I eat and eat and eat so I can pack on the pounds in the hopes that those pounds will act as a barrier to or deterrent for a potential rapist or abuser. Whatever. That may very well be the case, but I'm sick of making excuses and I'm finally, finally, finally taking control of this aspect of my life. (It's funny though, because I'm well in control of the rest of my life and have been for quite some time. This pesky weight issue has been hanging over me for what seems like forever and I'm finally ready to deal with it.)
So, I'm in a really good place right now. We're eating clean and organic, whole foods almost exclusively. Exceptions include: tofu, unsweetened soy milk, light/fat free salad dressing (though lately I've just stopped with the salad dressing because it's ruining the flavor of my salad!), and a boca burger patty once a week or once every couple of weeks from Red Robin. Basically, we're not eating out except for those trips with our meat-eating friends (we're vegan, fat vegans!) every other week or so.
In addition, we're going to the gym 6-7 days a week, every morning. I mean, we're dedicated. We get up at 4:40 and walk out the door around 5:10 and we're in there by 5:20. He's doing more weight training than me, but I'm doing regular workouts every other day. And I'm on the treadmill every morning. As soon as my swim gear (athletic swimsuit, goggles, cap) arrives, I'll start incorporating laps into my weekly workout schedule. In the past three weeks, since I've been home from my trip, I've gone from a 20 minute sustained trot on the treadmill to a 36 minute 12 minute mile. Yesterday I actually jogged for 36 minutes but I made I upped my speed just a bit so I cut some time off that 3 miles and extended my distance. I am soooo proud of myself. I never would have thought that I could do a 12 minute mile, let alone three miles, without stopping. I could barely do one in high school, but that was probably because I just didn't care and I smoked a lot of weed.
This has turned into a really long and probably boring post rife with superfluous information, but I'm not erasing anything. In short, here are my goals. (Oh yes, I've decided now that I'm 30 I'm all of a sudden going to become an athlete and I'm soooo amped about it!!!)
I'm 5'4" and I've got a large build.
Start Weight: 221 (I am using late June as my start time. I had to go to the doctor to get a new prescription for my epi-pen before heading overseas. While I was there they weighed me and that's what the scale said. I think I lost about 5 pounds or so while overseas because I was walking a lot and I got a really bad case of the squirts in Morocco (ew!). But I was eating a lot of bread in Spain and Morocco and drinking tons of beer in Spain.
Current Weight: 200
Goal Weight: 120 or a size 6, whichever comes first. Really, I just want to be in awesome physical condition and feel great and look good too. I'm not sure if I'll ever lose my ass though, not entirely. I don't remember ever being 120. When I gained weight as a child, when I was 11 or 12, I went from a child's size 12 or 14 to an adult woman's size 12 or 14. WTF!?! I guess I just ballooned. Anyway...
Short Term Goal: Run my very first 5k (run the whole damn way!) on October 13. I can't wait. I'm incredibly excited!!! Also, I've just remembered that I'm sort of naturally athletic, which sucks because I've been wasting that talent all this time.
So, yeah, I'm so glad I found this forum even though it may not seem like I need much in the way of motivation at this point.
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I decided to do some interval training tonight on the treadmill after I finished my weight-training. (Usually I just run on the treadmill for 36-45 minutes at an almost steady state of 10.5-11 minute mile.) I jogged at an 11-minute mile pace for 5 minutes and then sprinted at a 9.5-mile for 30 seconds and then ran at a 10.5-minute mile for 1 minute. I then repeated the 30 second/1 minute interval 6 more times, and then finished with a 5-minute jog at my 11-minute mile. I was pretty beat when I finished, but I didn't quite feel like puking. I guess I'm just really trying to build up some endurance and speed because my 5k is coming up in less than three weeks.
I also decided to register for a Turkey Trot 5k in my home town and hope to convince my 34-year-old brother, who will also be in town at the parents' for Thanksgiving, to do the race with me. He's been running for about a year now, whereas I just started.
I eat the same the thing almost every day. Is that bad? I eat a variety of foods over the course of the day, but my daily food and caloric intake doesn't really change or fluctuate at all.
I always feel like a fat slob when I am working out with weights at the gym. Today when I finished using the free weights and was waiting to use the lateral pull down machine, the guy who was already on it did his set and then offered me the machine so we could trade off during our rest periods between sets. This guy was big and beefy; his upper arms looked to be about the size of my head!!! Anyway, I was surprised at how friendly that gesture made him seem.
My weight went up, but my clothes are still feeling bigger or looser. What's that all about? I'm down to a solid size 14 now. In june I was in a snug 18. In the beginning of August I was in a well-fitting 18. The last time I wore a 14 was when I was 15, 5'2" and 163 pounds. Woo!
So, a number of weeks back I posted this really long introduction in the introduction section. Now I figured I'd paste it here since I will be keeping a diary.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
First of all, I'd just like to thank everyone who has been posting their respective before and after pictures as well as everyone who has written about their setbacks on the weight loss or maintenance journey. I've found so much of what I've read (and seen) on this site very inspiring.
My name is Tamara. A few weeks ago I returned from a trip overseas with a very good friend. We were in Morocco and Spain for roughly six weeks, and as you can imagine, we took lots of pictures. Every time my friend snapped a shot of me I'd demand to see the picture on the camera's screen. And nine times out of ten I'd either find myself completely disgusted or make him take the picture over or both. My point is, I am sick of being fat and sick of feeling unattractive (though that's an entirely different issue, I think), and sick of being out of shape and sick of looking around the room to ensure I'm not the fattest girl there.
Back in April, I thought I was sick of being fat. So I joined the Y, which is right by my house. We have to walk across the street and then through a sort of large undeveloped lot and then we're in the Y's parking lot. My boyfriend, who is also overweight (more so than me) and I got a family plan. We went solidly for two weeks and then I injured myself (doh!). I lost all motivation and just couldn't pick myself up after the pain in my keen had subsided. At that time, my boyfriend wasn't really on board like he is now. In fact, we've talked about eating (obviously) a lot in the last few days/weeks. When I told him that I'm sometimes, for a split second, tempted to binge or eat something I shouldn't eat, I just remember that it's absolutely not worth it. He agreed with me 100%, thankfully.
This time, I really am sick of being fat. And, fortunately, so is my boyfriend. He has been overweight most of his life, though for about five years he was extremely thin. When we met, in fact, he was very thin and I was easily 10 pounds lighter than I am now. That was nearly five years ago. The last time I was thin was when I was 11 or 12. Realizing I've been overweight for 2/3 of my life is upsetting, but I'm not discouraged.
I've gained weight for a couple of reasons. 1. I was a stress eater. However, 1. is now out. I've decided to take control of myself and not allow stress to affect me that way. 2. I eat when I'm bored. I'm a grazer. Or, I was. I've changed that too. (I've discovered eating 6 small meals a day is any easy way to avoid snacking because some days I feel like I just never stop eating even though I'm eating those six meals at precise times during the day.) 3. My therapist helped me discover that "I like being fat" as a means of protecting myself. Yeah, yeah. I was molested as a kid and raped as an adult, so now I eat and eat and eat so I can pack on the pounds in the hopes that those pounds will act as a barrier to or deterrent for a potential rapist or abuser. Whatever. That may very well be the case, but I'm sick of making excuses and I'm finally, finally, finally taking control of this aspect of my life. (It's funny though, because I'm well in control of the rest of my life and have been for quite some time. This pesky weight issue has been hanging over me for what seems like forever and I'm finally ready to deal with it.)
So, I'm in a really good place right now. We're eating clean and organic, whole foods almost exclusively. Exceptions include: tofu, unsweetened soy milk, light/fat free salad dressing (though lately I've just stopped with the salad dressing because it's ruining the flavor of my salad!), and a boca burger patty once a week or once every couple of weeks from Red Robin. Basically, we're not eating out except for those trips with our meat-eating friends (we're vegan, fat vegans!) every other week or so.
In addition, we're going to the gym 6-7 days a week, every morning. I mean, we're dedicated. We get up at 4:40 and walk out the door around 5:10 and we're in there by 5:20. He's doing more weight training than me, but I'm doing regular workouts every other day. And I'm on the treadmill every morning. As soon as my swim gear (athletic swimsuit, goggles, cap) arrives, I'll start incorporating laps into my weekly workout schedule. In the past three weeks, since I've been home from my trip, I've gone from a 20 minute sustained trot on the treadmill to a 36 minute 12 minute mile. Yesterday I actually jogged for 36 minutes but I made I upped my speed just a bit so I cut some time off that 3 miles and extended my distance. I am soooo proud of myself. I never would have thought that I could do a 12 minute mile, let alone three miles, without stopping. I could barely do one in high school, but that was probably because I just didn't care and I smoked a lot of weed.
This has turned into a really long and probably boring post rife with superfluous information, but I'm not erasing anything. In short, here are my goals. (Oh yes, I've decided now that I'm 30 I'm all of a sudden going to become an athlete and I'm soooo amped about it!!!)
I'm 5'4" and I've got a large build.
Start Weight: 221 (I am using late June as my start time. I had to go to the doctor to get a new prescription for my epi-pen before heading overseas. While I was there they weighed me and that's what the scale said. I think I lost about 5 pounds or so while overseas because I was walking a lot and I got a really bad case of the squirts in Morocco (ew!). But I was eating a lot of bread in Spain and Morocco and drinking tons of beer in Spain.
Current Weight: 200
Goal Weight: 120 or a size 6, whichever comes first. Really, I just want to be in awesome physical condition and feel great and look good too. I'm not sure if I'll ever lose my ass though, not entirely. I don't remember ever being 120. When I gained weight as a child, when I was 11 or 12, I went from a child's size 12 or 14 to an adult woman's size 12 or 14. WTF!?! I guess I just ballooned. Anyway...
Short Term Goal: Run my very first 5k (run the whole damn way!) on October 13. I can't wait. I'm incredibly excited!!! Also, I've just remembered that I'm sort of naturally athletic, which sucks because I've been wasting that talent all this time.
So, yeah, I'm so glad I found this forum even though it may not seem like I need much in the way of motivation at this point.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I decided to do some interval training tonight on the treadmill after I finished my weight-training. (Usually I just run on the treadmill for 36-45 minutes at an almost steady state of 10.5-11 minute mile.) I jogged at an 11-minute mile pace for 5 minutes and then sprinted at a 9.5-mile for 30 seconds and then ran at a 10.5-minute mile for 1 minute. I then repeated the 30 second/1 minute interval 6 more times, and then finished with a 5-minute jog at my 11-minute mile. I was pretty beat when I finished, but I didn't quite feel like puking. I guess I'm just really trying to build up some endurance and speed because my 5k is coming up in less than three weeks.
I also decided to register for a Turkey Trot 5k in my home town and hope to convince my 34-year-old brother, who will also be in town at the parents' for Thanksgiving, to do the race with me. He's been running for about a year now, whereas I just started.
I eat the same the thing almost every day. Is that bad? I eat a variety of foods over the course of the day, but my daily food and caloric intake doesn't really change or fluctuate at all.
I always feel like a fat slob when I am working out with weights at the gym. Today when I finished using the free weights and was waiting to use the lateral pull down machine, the guy who was already on it did his set and then offered me the machine so we could trade off during our rest periods between sets. This guy was big and beefy; his upper arms looked to be about the size of my head!!! Anyway, I was surprised at how friendly that gesture made him seem.
My weight went up, but my clothes are still feeling bigger or looser. What's that all about? I'm down to a solid size 14 now. In june I was in a snug 18. In the beginning of August I was in a well-fitting 18. The last time I wore a 14 was when I was 15, 5'2" and 163 pounds. Woo!
