Hi everyone.
I am ready to take a stand, But first...let me tell you about myself.
I am 25 years old and recently married. I havent had the easiest life thus far but certainly not the worst. I grew up an overweight child/teen. When I hit puberty I really thinned out. I was an amatuer wrestler since I was in 2nd grade and finally walked away my freshman year of high school. I was always focused on my weight and how much I needed to lose. Sometimes I would go days without eating much at all. After walking away from wrestling, my father was not the happiest camper in the world. We had our issues and arguments over the years. When I was finally able to eat what I wanted, I found a new love....food. I was 140lbs my freshman year of high school, by the end of my senior year I shot up to 195lbs. Some say I filled out, but I was eating what I wanted, whenever I wanted. As time went by I was going through life choices as everyone does. " what do I want to do with my life?"
I found myself enter the world of independent pro wrestling. This became a regular weekend occurance. I loved it. Wrestling is based around superficial aspects though. During the years, I dropped out of college 3 seperate times because I had no idea what I wanted to do besides wrestling. I eventually became a manager at a high end retail establishment. I did rather well finacially, but hated what I was doing. To ease the pain of wrestling and stress of my retail position, I found myself falling into a depression. To "help" cope, I found myself a friend and her name was MaryJane...pot.
Now I know I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. I began smoking here and there as well as regularly smoking cigarettes. Over the years, it became more and more until it was a daily activity. It was a way for me to escape reality and relax. I started relying on it and "needing" it just about every day. I wasnt proud and did not boast about it.
My habits became the normal for me over the next few years. I eventually realized what I wanted to do. I actually enjoy weight lifting and helping people. I wanted to become a personal trainer. I started doing very well as a trainer and actually enjoyed what I was doing. I have been doing this for about 2 years.
Last week I had a revelation. I always predicted I would die young, probably in my 50's. I sat down with my wife and discussed thag I will live to only see 50 if I continue to love the way I do. Only I have control over that. I am supposed to help people lead happier and healthy lives. On the surface I was healthg and inspiring, but inside I knew I wasnt any better than the people who were looking for help. Every night I would come home from work, take my shoes off, pack my bowl and leave reality. In the process I would eat anything and everything.
SO NOW IM TAKING A STAND!
As of Sunday 5/19 I weighed in at a whopping 237lbs. I do have a wide frame which helps hide some of my bellg fat, but even though I am "solid", I should not be this much. Sunday was the last day I smoked maryjane. I still smoke cigarettes, but have cut back. I have not smoked in 4 days which doesnt seem like much, but is the most I have gone in quite a long time.
Just like other health professionals, we help people, but we are the last ones to help ourselves, but I am done accepting that. I have started eating much cleaner and do everything I can to not eat after 8pm. I stopped drinking beer and switched to clear alcohol, although I do not drink much. I stopped drinking soda and switched to water.
I feel better, but I need something that I craving....support.
Again I know I am not perfect, but I am trying to be the best version of me that I can create.
I appreciate whoever reads this and hope that I am not alone.
Thanks.
Ps. I apologize for any typos.
I am ready to take a stand, But first...let me tell you about myself.
I am 25 years old and recently married. I havent had the easiest life thus far but certainly not the worst. I grew up an overweight child/teen. When I hit puberty I really thinned out. I was an amatuer wrestler since I was in 2nd grade and finally walked away my freshman year of high school. I was always focused on my weight and how much I needed to lose. Sometimes I would go days without eating much at all. After walking away from wrestling, my father was not the happiest camper in the world. We had our issues and arguments over the years. When I was finally able to eat what I wanted, I found a new love....food. I was 140lbs my freshman year of high school, by the end of my senior year I shot up to 195lbs. Some say I filled out, but I was eating what I wanted, whenever I wanted. As time went by I was going through life choices as everyone does. " what do I want to do with my life?"
I found myself enter the world of independent pro wrestling. This became a regular weekend occurance. I loved it. Wrestling is based around superficial aspects though. During the years, I dropped out of college 3 seperate times because I had no idea what I wanted to do besides wrestling. I eventually became a manager at a high end retail establishment. I did rather well finacially, but hated what I was doing. To ease the pain of wrestling and stress of my retail position, I found myself falling into a depression. To "help" cope, I found myself a friend and her name was MaryJane...pot.
Now I know I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. I began smoking here and there as well as regularly smoking cigarettes. Over the years, it became more and more until it was a daily activity. It was a way for me to escape reality and relax. I started relying on it and "needing" it just about every day. I wasnt proud and did not boast about it.
My habits became the normal for me over the next few years. I eventually realized what I wanted to do. I actually enjoy weight lifting and helping people. I wanted to become a personal trainer. I started doing very well as a trainer and actually enjoyed what I was doing. I have been doing this for about 2 years.
Last week I had a revelation. I always predicted I would die young, probably in my 50's. I sat down with my wife and discussed thag I will live to only see 50 if I continue to love the way I do. Only I have control over that. I am supposed to help people lead happier and healthy lives. On the surface I was healthg and inspiring, but inside I knew I wasnt any better than the people who were looking for help. Every night I would come home from work, take my shoes off, pack my bowl and leave reality. In the process I would eat anything and everything.
SO NOW IM TAKING A STAND!
As of Sunday 5/19 I weighed in at a whopping 237lbs. I do have a wide frame which helps hide some of my bellg fat, but even though I am "solid", I should not be this much. Sunday was the last day I smoked maryjane. I still smoke cigarettes, but have cut back. I have not smoked in 4 days which doesnt seem like much, but is the most I have gone in quite a long time.
Just like other health professionals, we help people, but we are the last ones to help ourselves, but I am done accepting that. I have started eating much cleaner and do everything I can to not eat after 8pm. I stopped drinking beer and switched to clear alcohol, although I do not drink much. I stopped drinking soda and switched to water.
I feel better, but I need something that I craving....support.
Again I know I am not perfect, but I am trying to be the best version of me that I can create.
I appreciate whoever reads this and hope that I am not alone.
Thanks.
Ps. I apologize for any typos.
