Taking a hard look at my motives...

B

beckster123

New member
Hi!
I'm happy to report that I have lost another 3lbs! Now down 39 lbs as of this morning. I've never lost this much! This process takes on a surreal aspect as I almost can't believe I'm successful at this. I've gained weight back more than once, and am determined not to..it's not an option for me due to asthma, reflux, and blood pressure problems.
However, I've come to the realization that I really like having people notice my weight loss (my doctor, my coworkers, my family)...but when I look in the mirror I think I look fat. Plus, I know in the recesses of my mind I am terrified that I will fail. So, who am I doing this for?? It's supposed to be me!!! I need to stop getting all my self-esteem and ego needs met by other people. I don't mean that I should be some self centered you-know-what, I just think I need to stop looking around me and more inside my self. I have to get to know myself again.
Thanks for "listening"!!
 
Congratulations! That's some impressive results.

Doesn't it just feel fantastic when other people notice and tell you that you look better? Concentrate on that feeling - and how YOU feel about how far you've come. Try not to think of potential failure - think of moving forward and progress.

Great job - keep it up.
 
beckster123 said:
I need to stop getting all my self-esteem and ego needs met by other people. I don't mean that I should be some self centered you-know-what, I just think I need to stop looking around me and more inside my self. I have to get to know myself again.
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Guilty as charged here too. That quote made the hair on my arms stand up.

I've rationalized this kinda like the brand new car with the stick still on the window scenario. You want people to look, you want them to notice that new body and the effort involved it takes to get one of those stickers. It says you've arrived, no shame in seeking affirmation is there ?? I think not. Some of us just aren't quite ready to scrap off that sticker yet, but we will eventually.

Congrats on your loss to date and keep making those payments ;)
 
Self-talk talk.

I hear you Beckster. I lost about sixty pounds last year. At first no one noticed but at about the 40 to 50lb mark, everyone was commenting and it was great. Then, just as quickly, it was old news and the compliments stopped. Now I've gained about 13 of those pounds back and my friends are politely not noticing, bless their hearts.

I have to face the fact that people have other things on their minds. It reminds me of one of my favorite sayings, "You wouldn't worry so much about what other people thought about you, if you knew how little they did."

Yet, we need positive rewards for our efforts, so what are we to do? I was brought up to believe that it was wrong to brag about oneself -- being "conceited" was one of the worst things a person could be.

I think, in this one area, we're just going to have to learn to praise ourselves. Starting with the next pound I lose (please, may it happen soon) I'm going to stand in front of the mirror and go on a bit about how great I look, how hard I've worked, etc. I'll try to do it without laughing, blushing or sarcastic returns. I really will.
 
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