Sympathy about weight issues....does it increase or decrease as you lose weight?

[CFGeekyGirl]

I hope I'm not opening up a can of worms here but I really want some other input on this. I'll probably offend someone, so I apologize ahead of time.

When I was fat, I had a lot of sympathy towards other overweight people. Now that I've become a more average size, I find that sympathy decreasing and I'm wondering if that makes me a bad person in that regard.

I never say anything rude to an overweight person because I know first hand how detrimental that can be...but I find myself increasingly annoyed at the excuses people make, the way they pretend not to care, etc. I see an obese person in public and wonder why they don't take initiative to fix it, or I see them order something that is REALLY unhealthy and think "wow, I would NEVER have ordered that when I was in the weight loss process!"

I feel like this makes me a hypocrite because I used to make those same excuses and poor choices, and I remember how hard it was to change (heck, it's still hard...that last 20lbs is holding on harder than the other 70 that I lost). But still, I feel that being average sized (not fashionably thin, but just average, as in 10-15lbs overweight) is so much easier to accomplish than people like to think. I know that once I made the decision to lose the weight and really decided it was important to me, I went from "obese" to "slighly overweight" in less than 6 months.

I guess I just feel that if *I* can do it, than anyone can, and I feel guilty now when I have a snarky or pitying thought about an obese person, or when I feel irritated at what I perceive as weak excuses.

Has anyone else experienced this or am I just really messed up?

 

[antyoch]

I have the same feelings. Ever since I started. I feel sort of disgusted at really overweight people. Especially when I see them at stores picking out junk.

And I have the same feelings about feeling that way. I feel bad that I do, and know I shouldn't. i wont say anything either. I just have to walk away. I'm still overweight by a good 50-70 pounds. So I guess I'm in the same boat as most of the people. :\

I'm hoping it goes away, I have no idea what it is. Definitely some emotional crazyness going on!

 

[Omega]

I cannot say that I feel the way that you do - but I do have some funny thoughts...

Whenever I see a very big person - part of me wants to go up to them and say "you can do something about it if you want to - it can work - I used to be your size"...

I havent yet because I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings - as I was often upset by comments from strangers. I just know how I got to believe that it was just too hard / not really possible for me... I am just so pleased that I acted when I did - I might not be alive if I hadnt because the emergency operation that I had in April last year would have been a lot more serious if I had weighed literally double what I was.

 

[KaraCooks]

Yes and no. I don't get annoyed or upset with random people much. I do find myself paying attention to what people order at restaurants and buy at the grocery store in a way that I never did before - but I really do try hard not to make judgments about it. I probably don't always succeed, but I try.

OTOH, I am finding that I have less and less sympathy for people who WANT to lose weight, say they want to lose weight, and then go on and do stupid things over and over and over again.

I also get really frustrated with people who make excuses over and over and over again - that they don't have "time" to exercise or eat right or plan meals. I think the I-don't-have-time excuse is one of the most insulting things someone can say when responding to advice in fact. It pretty much says that the person who lost weight obviously isn't as busy/important/time crunched whatever as the person who is fat and just doesn't have time. That obviously those of us who lost weight did it during some privileged time in our lives when we didn't have to deal with the issues that someone else did. In fact many of the men and women I know who have lost substantial amounts of weight healthily, and kept it off, have been those who work multiple jobs, or go to school and work, or have kids and work, or have *more* time demands on them - and who realized that they had to make time for what was important.

Then again, I have never had any tolerance for "fat acceptance" and the idea that it's ok to be fat and the rest of the world has to accommodate it in the same way they should accommodate a disability. I felt that way when I was fat as well - I fully accepted that being fat was something I did have control over.

I dunno. I guess as I said above - it's a yes/no thing for me. I don't have less sympathy towards the PERSON ... but I do have a lot less tolerance for excuses and "I can't".

But all of that said, I don't think your change of attitude makes you a bad person at all.

 

[DweamGoiL]

I agree with Kara...

I don't have as much tolerance for excuses from others. I also get insulted when people make it seem as if it was easier for me because _________ (insert another typical excuse). I am 40 and I have a slow metabolism, but I work my butt off at the gym and watch what I eat so I can lose the poundage...real simple formula. I was once over 227 lbs and managed to go down to 137...so I have been through losing weight in my 20's and now in my 40's. No magic pills, no gimmicks, no easy way out.

I am very free with my advice when asked for it. If not, I just keep my mouth shut. I have noticed either people are at the stage they really want to lose weight or not, and anything I say or do, will not impact that. They have to reach the start of their own journey and be motivated about it or else it's not going to work for them.

It's the same as anything else. You need to take responsibility for your actions (in this case stuffing your face and sitting on your bum for most of the day) and if you don't, it's just not going to work.

 

[Fablego]

I completely agree. When I was 120 pounds, running 3 and 4 miles a day in college I would like at overweight people and think they were just lazy. However, now that I am more stable in my career I don't have the time to workout half the day like I used to, juice vegetables and have really stop taking care of my health. I understand that losing weight is a lifetime commitment and it reeks havoc on your body. I am currently on a weight loss journey to lose 80 pounds with a new challenge that I started. Message me for more information.

 

[Drop100]

This all sounds so crazy to me. I am at 250lbs and I am that fat person you think is lazy. I have just started my weight loss journey and I am finding it really difficult. Its a lot of work. I have had a lot of dirty looks over my life, especially at the grocery store and restaurants. People gawk at me to see what I am buying. Last week, I was buying ice cream for my boyfriend and I heard someone say, "should they really be buying ice cream?" A part of me wanted to snap back and say its not for me, while another part of me wanted to go cry.

I guess my point is, while I am proud and inspired by you all losing weight. Don't forget where you started.