Susan's Weight Loss ~Journey~ lol

nasus

nasus

New member
Hi, I'm Susan.

Well, I've been lurking for awhile and thought I'd become active and join the discussion!

Height: 5'7"
Start Weight: 212
Current Weight: 184
Goal Weight: 150

I'm currently a sophomore in (a rather stressful) college in Pittsburgh. I'm originally from California. The meal plan we were on freshmen year was ridiculous, now that I think of it. I felt like I shouldn't let any meal blocks go to waste, and that ended up with many cheesy pizzas and pasta dishes consumed, as well as milkshakes and cookies galore for snacks. This year, I'm living on a floor with a kitchen and have been trying to grocery shop as much as possible, even though I have to take a bus there and back.

My weight loss struggle didn't start in college though. The first time I joined Weight Watchers, I was in elementary school. Yeah, it's hard for me to believe too, looking back on it. In high school I was somewhat successful with it, getting down to maybe 170ish pounds, I'm not sure. Then, when I realized that I had gained 50 pounds in one year and my doctor expressed concern, I went to a very unhelpful nutritionist. Yeah, I knew how to eat healthy, it was the getting myself to DO it part. At one point, I joined Weight Watchers again and after the weigh in, I cried on the way home when I realized how much weight I'd gained and blamed my mom for "letting" me.

I finally feel like I've come to a place where I can get the weight off and keep it off for good. I feel like I'm mature and self aware enough to really do it this time. And maybe I'm a little more vain and think I could totally be a hottie if I lost the weight :p I'm following the WW points system as a way to keep my calories in check and exercising as much as possible when I don't have exams and lab reports due the next day and pulling all nighters, usually about 40 minutes on the elliptical or exercise bike, plus crunches and stretches. I've signed up for some fitness classes for next semester so I don't get bored. I'm also an RA and thus there is tons of free junk food that we have for residents at events that I have to resist. Right now, I'm trying something where I never buy myself junk food/sweets (ice cream, cookies, cake, pizza, chips etc.), but only treat myself if it's free. So basically I'm good most of the time but if there's an ice cream event or free cookies I have some and try not to feel too guilty about it.

Glad to be here and can't wait to read all of your stories! I definitely need the inspiration and motivation.
 
So here is the first backdated weight loss blog I made. There's a few of them and then we'll be caught up to present!

1/23/08
I'm also trying to eat healthier this semester. I'm going to really try to grocery shop maybe three times a month. Not every weekend, but almost. I just figured out how to make my meal plan work for on campus and groceries, and we have a convenience store on campus but it is RIDICULOUS. $6 for a bag of salad? $8 for GRAPES? SRSLY??? I'm going to try "Amy's" stuff from there though, since they don't have Smart Ones/Lean Cuisine. Hurrah for microwaveable food! It's also handy to get milk and OJ there too since that's so heavy to take home on the bus from the grocery store.

But yeah. I might try to blog about health-stuff more to keep it on my mind/keep me accountable. Because last semester during finals I got all stressed and was hitting the Ben and Jerry's WAY too much. I was thinking about it last night, and I'd be completely happy to lose 30 pounds and stay there rather than probably the 50 that would be recommended and then I'd end up gaining it back like last time. And I think 30 pounds is totally attainable in about a year of the "trying not to think about it" diet. Because I have a feeling once the other shoe drops, so to speak, having to do a weight watchers type counting of everything I eat would just stress me out more and make me feel like I have more homework. So I'm just going to try to buy better stuff and resist grabbing cookies and ice cream and running down to the vending machine downstairs (SUCH CONVENIENT CANDY OMG). So not a "diet", because yet again, I think writing everything down kinda sucks for me sometimes. Because some days I'd be like, dammit, I can't eat any more, I'm done for the day! And other days I'd be so caught up in my schedule and writing things down meant I had to eat them, so I'd end up choking down yogurt and plain turkey sandwiches which I didn't really enjoy. And at the end of the day I'd have like 2 points left and would eat because I had to. I'd rather just do the more natural limit portion sizes and eat when you're hungry thing.

I've also worked out the last nine days in a row \o/ Yet again, when I get really stressed I probably won't be able to keep that up. I think my plan is just to write down the dates of the days I don't work out really quickly in the front of my notebook or something, and then try to make sure it averages like 5 days a week or something. And I also need to keep telling myself I'm doing PLENTY. Because I can't help but want to increase my minutes on the elliptical and my number of crunches EVERY time. I'm always like "you did 35 last time, you should do 40 now!" But I'm more trying to just do consistently anywhere from 30-45 minutes every day instead of feeling like I need to top myself. And that can just get easier slowly over time and I can slowly raise the time every few weeks. Then maybe start up on the treadmill? We shall see.
 
2/29/08
Quite a few milestones have since passed and I'm quite proud. I'm quite a bit under 200 pounds now, getting very close to being under 190 soon. Haven't been in the 100s in quite some time, I think. I also bought a size 8 jeans on Feb. 22 (I remember because it was the day before my birthday and I was heading out to see a friend), yet another number unfamiliar to me, something in the single digits! I don't know if all size 8 jeans will fit, but that one did, and it was exciting. All my other jeans necessitate a belt, which I also had to buy new since my old one was too small, even at the smallest notch. My BMI has just edged over from "obese" to "overweight". Three awesome friends mentioned that I had lost weight over spring break. It felt good.

I've been obsessively reading weight loss blogs and forums. Haha if only I'd put that kind of time and energy into my homework.

Next week is ridiculously busy for me. I think four meetings, three RA events, one exam, one lab report, and one art project. SHEESH. But I just need to prove to myself that even during busy weeks, weeks when my schedule is messed up, etc I can keep this up. Whenever I lost weight before, it would often be obliterated by finals week or a summer with lots of vacations. I need to make this a lifelong thing this time, and I think I'm finally ready. The last time I lost a lot of weight was probably around sophomore year of high school and I really don't think I had enough perspective and will power to pull this off. I also think I've grown sufficiently vain to care enough to not gain weight again haha.

On the other hand. I like to think that I've become more mature, but maybe I'm just more insecure. Maybe I just have gone backwards, and am in that place where I think I have less friends and no bf is a result of my weight. I do care a lot about what other people think of me. And I do tend to think more and more that I seem to catch someone's eye but they never make the next move because I'm overweight. It's retarded, but I can't help it. I know it's also that self-conciousness that may come off as stand-offish, cold, and unfriendly. They can just tell I'm not open.

Anyways, I'm working on some short term goals. Eat less free RA junk food, switch from white to wheat pasta, take up running after I lose another 10 and the weather gets nice, put more effort into making food (less Lean Cuisine and Weight Watchers, more making my own meals-chicken and brown rice, stir fry etc.), more fresh veggies instead of frozen.
 
4/3/08
Uuuurgh.

So I think yesterday and today count as oops I jumped off the eating healthy wagon. Yesterday I ran the 10-Spot, which is out weekly big RA event and there was ice cream and candy and popcorn mmmm. And even though after eating some of the candy I was kinda like wow, that is a bit too sweet now that I don't eat it everyday, I kept eating MORE. And I had figured it into my points and everything, but I just kept going. And then today I ate some of the leftover candy and ice cream at lunch :( And THEN I was running a floor RA event tonight and we were baking cookies. *cue ominous music* I told myself I was eating like TWO, but then the COOKIE DOUGH, omg. And I was undone. And now my SIDES hurt. Not good.

BUT. I am determined to jump right back on that wagon tomorrow. Because honestly I feel really gross after eating all that. And I've learned from it. I have CHOICES.
A) Whenever I'm in charge of the food choices, make it a healthy event.
B) Make a rule to not eat during RA events. This is hard for me because it's such a hassle to go grocery shopping on the bus or to pick up food on campus for every meal. So I'm like omg, this is free AND it's right there! So hard to pass up. But it's like, is that ease better than being healthy?
C) Make a FIRM limit on what I'm going to eat. Because if I am like, okay I'm going to have 6 point ice cream and 2 points of candy, but then have more points for the day, once I start eating I'll be like, oh well I'll just eat more candy and that's it for the day. And then I'm like, "I have lots of banked/flex/whatever points, I'm fine! *stuffs face* Oops, I don't even KNOW how many points I've eaten now." So just plan ahead and be like I'm eating 2 points of that candy and then STOPPING, it's non-negotiable.

We shall try each strategy in the upcoming events and see what works. OWWW my tummy. It is very angry at me for jumping off the wagon. Apparently it likes its healthy food.
 
4/10/08
And I ate too many cookies today. FAILURE. Oh well. I've been thinking about it some and I really don't care if I lose weight super slowly. I need to lose it in a way that I can live with. Being super strict all the time just WON'T WORK, or at least it won't work at this time. At this time I'm still going to need to pig out on sugar once a week. Maybe someday I'll get over my cravings eventually. At least this time I was like, wow, frosting it kind of disgusting. Stop that. At least I only go a little crazy when its junk food and it's free. I never buy myself ice cream or candy or cookies, there are far too many opportunities to get it for free when you're an RA or just are at college period. So at least I'm making healthy choices more of the time. I had no qualms about buying myself huge cookies as snacks last semester, or eating a whole Ben and Jerry's in a day when I was stressed, and STILL eating lots at RA events. Baby steps.

Maybe that sounds a lot like rationalizing, but I at least need to accept the fact that I'm not perfect. Wish me luck, I'm hosting ANOTHER RA event tomorrow where junk food will be on the premises. Jesus.

I've also been thinking a bit about what I'm going to do next year. I just hate the fact that I am TOTALLY guessing as to how healthy things are here on campus/how many points they are. There's a sandwich that I get maybe once a week that I estimate is about 12 points (bread, cheese, turkey, lots of veggies, honey mustard) but who knows if I am SO OFF. Same with the veggie wheat bread pizza I love. Whenever you look it up pizza online it's like "one serving" or "1/8 of a 12 inch pie" or "1/16th of an 18 inch pie". WHAT THE EVER LOVING F*** AM I SUPPOSED TO MEASURE MY SLICE WITH A RULER AND CALCULATE AN APPROXIMATION OF THE ENTIRE SIZE OF THE PIZZA? DO I NEED TO KNOW THE RADIUS AND CIRCUMFERENCE AND INVOLVE THE 3.14..... KIND OF PI TO FIGURE OUT THE CALORIES IN THIS PIZZA???? *RAGES* F*** that. I live in the real world, peeps. So it's like, calorie counting just really doesn't work on my current system of eat on campus some of the time, microwave/cook stuff for myself some of the time. I guess I just have to make reasonable approximates and try to eat generally healthfully. It's either that or cook ALL of my own food next year. Yet again, this is the "not working in the real world" plan. 1) I'm basically hiding. 2) I won't have a kitchen on my floor, and the kitchen in the building isn't even a kitchen, it's a kitchenette. 3) I'm going to be an RA for freshmen, meaning they'll all be on the meal plan and I'll want to grab food with them to get to know them fairly often, I imagine. 4) Still won't have a car, so all groceries have to be taken home on the bus. I don't know what to doooo. I think I'm going to have to do the mix it up thing still.
 
Hi Susan :)

Congrats on the many pounds that you have lost so far! I hope it continues well for you :D:D I have only just started and reading abt people who have lost weight always inspires me!
 
Thank you so much! I wish you the best of luck too! I know how helpful it is to see other people's stories and pictures, for sure.

I feel so ready for this right now \o/ haha
I think I'm just finally ready to accept this as a real lifestyle change. I'm ready to accept that not ever day is cause for dessert and something smothered in cheese. Not that I'll never eat that stuff again, it's just something I have to be more mindful of and make it more of a treat. It's all totally worth it.
 
Update

Ugh, it's been a hard couple days.

However, instead of feeling bad about what I ate and just ignoring it and not facing it, I'm trying to write down everything I eat, even if it's embarrassing. I feel like if I put it out in the open to you people, it might help deter me from doing it again.

4/29 ww pasta 4
frosting 6
caramels 1
4 pieces garlic bread 16
2 cups pasta 6
2 lrg ravioli 4
salad dressing 2
reeses 5
tot: 44
yes, that's 20 points over my WW points for the day. Wow. And yes I ate just frosting from a jar in the kitchen. That was bad. The reeses was 2am when nothing was open and I was working on a project with a friend and all we had was the vending machine. I'd been craving them forever though, so I felt like I had to give in. Judgment not so good at 2am, also.

4/30 fruit 1
cookies and candy 3 (given out for free at a presentation and the candy was from an office jar. wow I hate that I feel like I have to explain my bad behavior haha)
2 tblspn dressing on salad 4
garlic bread 4
tot:12
And that's where I am. I'm still exercising though, at least. A lot of this is due to the fact that it's the week before finals and everything is due right now and I'm basically nocturnal and pulling all nighters every night. I'm way stressed because I need to do well on everything to pass my classes, and getting this little sleep makes me hungrier and more prone to emotional, mindless eating. I need some encouragement, because I'm VERY close to just eating a piece of cake (it's free at an RA event tonight) and then being done for the day. I keep saying I'll just indulge myself one more time and then get back on track. I don't know, I feel like I could have indulged myself yesterday but still stayed within my range but just didn't. Yet I'm still like mmmm cake. Perhaps I should get back from lab, workout and shower, and then REMOVE myself from the vicinity of the cake and work on lab elsewhere. Another part of it was that I was the one putting this Italian dinner on, and I think I ordered too much food so I felt kind of bad that there was so much leftover so I was like, I should eat more so it doesn't look like there's that much left! So stupid.

But no matter! I am soldiering on. I kind of need some renewed inspiration to not let this knock me off track. So I thought I'd think of some motivators for each mini goal/milestone.

181 (halfway to goal)-pedicure
175-new workout shoes
170-high heels
165-lingerie
160-jeans
150 (goal)-bikini!
Once I get toned, keep the weight off for maybe a year or so, and excess skin kind of zaps back, I've been thinking about getting my belly button pierced and/or getting a tattoo on my stomach to remind me to keep this new flat belly thing permanent. That is my far-fetched fantasy plan, at least :p
 
You are doing great. Just because you have a cheat day doesnt mean you need to feel guilty. Have some fun but dont over do it. Keep going you will make it.
 
Hey, just wanted to say hi and welcome to the forum!

I have finally learned that if I'm craving something and can pin point exactly what it is, I try to have some because if I don't, I normally binge until I get it anyway trying to satisfy that one craving.

Try to make an alottment for those things in your caloric value by adjusting somewhere else or maybe taking an extra walk or something. You'll do fine!

Btw, I'm in my Senior year and almost at grad time with 3 classes to go in the summer. I know how stressful it can be, but those workouts will help with the stress level!

Congrats on your success thus far! Hope to see you around more!
 
Thank you guys so much for the encouragement, it really was what I needed to skip out on some very tempting cake that night haha. But omg! Mini-update. The scale said I was down to 181 at the gym today! I'm not sure if I can believe it after such a big cheat day. Maybe it's because I was hormonal and retaining water? Maybe it's because I'm getting like no sleep (last week of class, everything due at once), so I'm awake burning more calories. If I'm still at 181 when I weigh in on Sunday, I'll count this as halfway to my goal! That really gives me a good incentive to stay on plan this weekend and to go grocery shopping for healthy stuff.

And yeah, photocrazed, I know what you mean about giving into the craving thing. Right now the cravings aren't as strong as they were, so I'll be okay, but if they get that crazy bad again, I'm definitely going to try to give myself a limited portion so that I don't angst and go all out of control about it. And good luck with finishing up all your classes!

Picture post coming this weekend when I'm done with this friggin' lab report.
 
hay ya i hope the scales are right at the gym for you it would be great for you if you were halfway to your goal!
good luck for tomorrow
ttfn
kotki x
 
Just wanted to stop by and say congratulations on all the weight loss so far!!! Your doing really good! Not much longer and you'll be at your goal weight, thats really exciteing!! i cant wait until im close to mine, ive got quite a ways to go though lol..but ill get there some day!! Well.. good luck with the rest of your weight loss journey!!
 
Welcome!

I started at about the same weight as you, and I am 5'7 as well! I looked at your picture thread, and you have made some great progress!

I understand the cravings thing! Blue Bell just made this yummy new ice cream called "Moo Tracks" that I was dying to try. I bought the small pint, ate about three bites, then threw the rest of it away! It was just what I needed! I still got to try it without going overboard, ya know?

Good luck with your journey! I know you can succeed!
 
Thank you so much!

And I know what you mean about the ice cream, daiseeangel, it's totally my downfall too. We had some free ice cream here last night and I managed to limit myself to a cup when I could have easily gone for seconds. What I really crave is Ben and Jerry's Phish food though, SO GOOD. I wish it came in those little single serving sizes because I don't think I could do what you did.

Mini update-The scale said I was down to 178 today. I'm so confused, that's like three pounds in less than a week! I don't know what's going on. This is right after pulling an all-nighter where I stress-ate two bowls of cereal, the aforementioned ice cream, and even some frosting in a fit of panic and sleep-deprivation. I did manage to stay within my calories though. This happened before though, last week when I had a series of all nighters I dropped three pounds too. I guess it's all that extra time awake burning calories? Anyone have any other theories? I've been pretty much staying the same with exercise. The only major change I've made is decreasing carbs and increasing protein and good fats. I've been eating less pasta and more fish, egg whites, vinaigrette salad dressing, nuts, and garbanzo beans.
 
well done on losing the three pounds sometimes i think you lose more weight when you eat more as it boosts your metabolism, where you've been eating at lower than the calories its used to, to lose weight it gets used to burning fat ect with those cals then when you eat a little more i think it speeds up your system for a while! i could be wrong but thats what i think!
 
Thanks for reading, kotki. I think it might be that, eating the occasional fatty food confuses my body enough to get it burning lot of calories again.

Mini-update. Still excited about being in club 170s now! That's unreal to me. Also, I decided to post the link to my daily food diary. I'm keeping it in google docs here. One of my goals is to keep it completely honest, writing down EVERYTHING I eat, no matter if it's embarrassing or a "failure" kind of day. So yeah, check it out if you want to see what I'm eating!
 
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