Stepha's Diary- The End of Denial

S

Stepha97

New member
First off, my plan is to write this as I would in a diary, to myself. Hopefully I can be more honest that way. This may change but that's the plan for now...

Right so, I am currently in school to become a Family Nurse Practitioner. I live in the town that holds the distinction of having the most fast food restaraunts per person in the country. The childhood obesity rate is well above 55%. Type II diabetes and heart disease are the two most pressing healthcare issues in our area (not very uncommon). The vast majority of the clients I see at this point in my training suffer from one if not both of these conditions.

And here I sat, with a BMI that classifies me as obese. I make statements daily about how others should care for their bodies and take a proactive role in their medical conditions. I feel like such a hypocrite. The entire time I speak I feel like I am affecting patients in a negative way. Maybe if I could demonstarte these lifestyle changes they would get it and it would seem attainable.

This solitary thought was what prompted me to snap out of the denial I was in about my weight. I sincerely always though "I'm really not that fat." Well, I am. But hopefully that will change in the coming months.


-WOW it felt great to write that! :D
 
I think it's amazing that you want to become healthy not only for yourself but as a role model for your patients. It's something you can definately do now that you've set your mind on it!
 
And here I sat, with a BMI that classifies me as obese. I make statements daily about how others should care for their bodies and take a proactive role in their medical conditions. I feel like such a hypocrite. The entire time I speak I feel like I am affecting patients in a negative way. Maybe if I could demonstarte these lifestyle changes they would get it and it would seem attainable.
Click to expand...

What a great motivator for yourself.. and you're right - I remember getting a lecture from my doctor a few years ago... about my weight and how I need to do something about it -and all i could think was -dude, you've got 20 years on me and at least 75lbs - who do you think you are telling me I need to lose weight - and most of his office staff was also very overweight...

it's nice to see a health professional taking an active role in their own health and practicing what they preach...

rock on :D
 
Hi Stepha! Welcome to WLF. I think its great that you are doing this to be a role model. I work in the med field too, I am in school right now to be a community wellness advocate, right now I am a medical receptionist and medical assistant in a small dr. office. As a day job :). My ultimate dream is to have my own bakery. I work with a population that is seeing the devistating effects of poor diet also, DM, Obesity, Hypertension, heart decease...its sad and I'm glad that there are people out there in the field making the effort to display a healthy lifestyle so patients can see that it is attainable. Good job and good luck!
 
I split my time between New Bern and Greenville. :)

So onto Day 2:

I never thought about how intimidating the grocery store can be for someone trying to eat more healthy. You think you finally find a product that fits your needs and then you realize it has an insane amount of sodium or zero fiber. Ahhh! Additionally, eating more sensibly is pretty expensive compared to how I ate before. (Obviously you get what you pay for and all the food I was eating is full of crap.)

A majorly exciting find was the multi-grain 100 calorie English muffins. Not only are they full of whole grains but also have 8g of fiber. (I've found that fiber really helps me feel satiated for longer as well as lowering cholesterol, etc...)

So that's where I stand today, still pumped and really excited about finding things today that I enjoy eating and that are nutritionally sound as well. :D
 
Have you tried the Barilla plus pasta? It's healthy and a good price as well. I think the more you look around the more you will find things that are suitable to your diet. Keep up the good work!
 
awesome. Another Greenville gal. woohoo

congrats on your 5lb lost.

I eat the same muffins, they are yummy. I normally eat them with 2 slices bacon and an egg for breakfast. Keeps me full sooooo long :)
 
Love the Greenville Girls! :D

Over the past few days I figured a lot out about myself!

First,I realized what makes me eat compulsively. I always watched Oprah and when she talked about hew emotional eating and what not, I thought hmm, nope I don't do that must be something else. Well, thats pretty much it. When I'm stressed I feel like I owe myself something fatty. Almost a reward or something. I also figured out that I eat a lot more often and a higher quantity than I thought I was. (Gasp the shock, lol) Portion control is going to be key in this for me.

Also, I learned that I love working out which was something I was terrified of before starting. I've done an hour of cardio every day excluding Sunday(when I was super sore) and it's become something I look forward to. Hopefully, this remains constant.

My biggest obstacle right now is eating out and feeling obligated to eat with others. At lunch when all of my classmates are going out to eat it's pretty hard to say no and eat my packed lunch. Eating with my boyfriend is hard also. He can eat damn near anything and not gain a pound and I feel a twinge of guilt that we cant really go to our favorite restaraunts until I get better control on my eating habits. I will say he has been extremely supportive which feels great. Although I feel a little guilty there hasn't been a complaint from his end and I appreciate that greatly.
 
Since I didn't answer these questions in my first post I'm going to do that today :)

--How much weight do you want to lose?
45 lbs. minimum, possibly more once I get to my goal weight

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?
I'm not sure how realistic New Year's is, but that would be ideal.

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?

I'm counting calories adding in nutritionally valuable foods and exercising at least 5 times a week

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?

My boyfriend has been supportive thus far as well as my family and friends

-- How realistic is your goal?

I think if I can find the patience and the motivation to carry me through the first month it's very realistic. Perhaps the time frame may be a bit off but I'm ok with that. The main goal is to become a healthier person not so much losing a specific amount of weight in a specific amount of time.

-- When will you start?
I started one week ago, September 20.
 
Today was a great one! I got hit on for the first time in a while (by someone other that the bf) and it was a major confidence boost! I know I haven't lost a huge amount of weight in a week, but I carry myself much more confidently. I walk with my head high and my shoulders back, like I want to be notice. Gone are the days of trying to blend in so no one notices what I look like.

My diet and exercise are both going well, I'm doing around an hour of cardio a day. I haven't started any weight training mainly because I don't really know how and I don't want to injure myself trying before I get some knowledge about it.

Tommorrow is going to be a bad day (as far as my weightloss goals). I'm weighing in tommorrow morning (really nervous that the scale isn't going to show the work I've been doing) and then my friend is having a huge cookout/ keg party for her birthday. EEEK! Alcohol is one of the key factors in my weight gain! Hopefully I can make it work somehow. :beerchug: (except not really :( )

If anyone has any advice about how to deal with situations such as this please let me know!
 
stick to clear liquors if you can. Take along some rum or vodka and some diet coke to mix with it. If i understand it right clear liquor is lesser in calories. Or beers like michaloeb ultra are better then regular beers.

Try pile your plate up with all the yummy grilled meats and ask her to maybe throw on some veggie skewers.

Hehehe its such a good feeling getting hit on during weight loss. I always tell my bf when it happens to me, he gets jealous but then serenades with me with how much he loves me . i love it !!!

Enjoy the cookout girlie :)
 
So this weekend was horrible as far as my goals went (great otherwise). At the cookout keg party I overdid it (both food and alcohol) and feel really bad about it. I guess I'm just not to the point yet where I can resist all the temptations. I felt really down on myself after Friday and Saturday I think I let it get the best of me. I ate well but didn't work out and basically just felt guilty all day. At least I can recognize that my choices were bad, but I really considered giving up for a little bit. I went to a NFL game Sunday and ate as well as you can with the choices they had, but didn't have time to work out (driving 8 hours, game for 4). Again, I felt really bad about myself. :(

Today I got back on track with my diet and worked out and feel so much better! The weekends are going to be the difficult part of this, obviously. I guess I was just so excited last week and it sucks that I lost a little bit of that fire this weekend. I know I shouldn't dwell, but it's difficult.
 
Well this weekend was great as far as exercise goes, the diet was more difficult because I went home to visit my family and of course, the more they love you the more they want to feed you. I did ok, just not as strict as I have been.

I'm not sure but I think that really got my GI tract messed up which meant I couldn't really work out Monday or Tuesday. (It was more than just an upset stomach) I did walk a mile during my lunch break today and am going to the gym later tonight. :)

Even with my slip ups, I'm seeing results both on the scale and in how I feel. I haven't felt that deprived feeling yet, mainly because I eat veggies all day and drink tons of water. I've heard people often mistake thirst for hunger and I'm sure I'm guilty of that too.
 
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