Step by step, day by day :D

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Delsid

Delsid

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Hello everyone,

All day I've been in two minds about posting on here but I think it might help. I've never shared any of my weight loss/binges struggles with anybody so this feels a bit alien but I've read some of your guys' diaries and the support here is incredible and something that I think I need.

So, I'm giving myself 3 months to feel better in my skin. In 2013 I lost 3 stone with Weight Watchers and lots of exercise and felt amazing but I've managed to put one back on and all the wobbliness is making me really uncomfortable (AND I can't wear a lot of the clothes I bought 3 years ago! and I really like them :D).

I'm on day 2 (oh yeah! ha ha) of fuelling my body properly, moving a bit more and not giving in to binges (even though my stress level are sky high...through my own doings...that's another story). I want to get back into running regularly and finally learn how to do push ups!!!

Most of Feb was a disaster food wise, with MASSES of bread, cakes and deep fried stuff. I don't want to be that fatty from 4 years ago though, and I'm hoping this diary will help with this.

The idea is to take things day by day but also keep in mind the healthier, slimmer and happier me in 3 months time. I really believe I can do this!!!!

Sidney
 
I'm actually looking forward to reading this. Wish you all the best!
 
I doubted whether or not to start a diary here in the beginning too. Best thing I ever did. You won't regret it. Welcome to the forum, Sidney. :)
 
Welcome to the forum Sidney. I can thank being a member of this forum for keeping me on track. I started my diary back in 2007 about a month after I started on a very strict diet. I had 36kg to lose & it was daunting. I wanted & needed to focus on weight-loss & sensed that no-one wanted to talk about it (or listen to me talking about it), so I looked around & found this forum. For ages I lurked until I took the plunge. It is something I have never regretted.
Delsid said:
In 2013 I lost 3 stone with Weight Watchers and lots of exercise and felt amazing but I've managed to put one back on
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That means that you are starting out this time 2 stone lighter than you were when you started back in 2013. That's awesome! I hope you feel comfortable with us & get the support that we all need. It is a very friendly forum & we have more in common than you might think.
Cheers, Cate.
 
Thank you guys for the warm welcome! So lovely to have the support.

Day three has started out well and I'm determined to continue in this fashion (won't count my chickens just yet though as it's not even midday ha ha). The thing is though, as much as I want to stay in control (it makes me genuinely happy! ) every time I try to make these lasting changes I almost feel a bit stressed in the morning. Like - will I manage to make it through the day without sabotaging myself (because there's been so much of that lately...I would do well for a while and then just break...so tired of this pattern now)? And sometimes (especially in the evening) moments REALLY drag on as I'm fighting the urge to eat my stress away (last night I did 30 min of yoga to distract myself from wanting to continue eating). And days like today when I'm feeling relatively strong and positive (partially due to Sia's new album! ha ha) I feel like I can go about my day and not obsesses over food. The secret is to think of food as nourishment and being kind to ourselves, I think...and that's what I intend to do today.

Also, I'm planning to make the most of the EXTRA day this year :D (not sure how yet, perhaps by trying not to procrastinate! - I work and study mostly from home and finding it hard these days to stay on track). The sun is shining and the pollution is low (I'm in China...:D). Here's to a great day!
 
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Day 3 is slowly coming to an end I've just realised (or re-realised, really) just HOW impatient I am. I mean I was looking in the mirror and it got to me that I wast thinking something along the lines of: 'come on, I've been eating well and moving more...where are the effects???' :D I think that's one reason why shifting this stone has been so hard - it takes quite a while to see any changes (ok, 3 days is *perhaps* a bit too early ha ha ) and before I get to that stage I would have already given up...Really hoping this won't happen this time round. I was looking at some of my photos from 3 years ago too...after being on the chubby side ALL my life (with overweight in my mid twenties) I was finally slim and sometimes when I look at those pictures I can't believe it's actually me...It's crazy to think of the tricks one's mind plays on ONE at times :D
 
Delsid said:
I was finally slim and sometimes when I look at those pictures I can't believe it's actually me...It's crazy to think of the tricks one's mind plays on ONE at times
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Look at that picture every day & remind yourself why you need to be more patient. You can do it! :)
 
Thanks Cory :)

Jen, it's crazy isn't it :D

Cate, I've got these pictures on the laptop desktop so I will be definitely going back to them when feeling impatient.

Yesterday was good food wise and I ran 6.5k which felt amazing.

Today I went grocery shopping and stocked up on all kinds of vegetables...I tend to get quite bored if I don't mix up my meals a bit and being a vegetarian in China means that even if I go out I end up eating more or less the same stuff. So I got some pesto and some other stuff to throw in to vary it all a bit. Felt super proud too coz I stayed clear from the bakery section in the supermarket :D (Little victories :D People with a better relationship with food would be probably a bit like WTF :D). They usually have free samples there (and loads of them too!!!) so there have been times when I'd literally just stand there stuffing my face with free cake and bread, when others would come and just take a little piece. Oh god :D I really wish I didn't love cake this much!!

Hope everyone is having a lovely week!
 
Thanks Cate :) And you're lucky! I wish I didn't like it!

I'm applying mental vigilance ---> today I was procrastinating and stressing about procrastinating at the same time...and I felt the familiar urge to EAT, but instead I sat down and pretty much finished my work!! If only I was this efficient all the time :p

I also tried on my 'honesty shorts' (ha ha) - a pair of shorts which fitted me really well three years ago but which feel rather tight these days...The aim is to feel good in them in June!

I'm really hoping this continues and I won't give up after a couple of weeks as I've done in the past. The first milestone will be March 24th as I'm determined to feel happy and in control on the day of my 30th birthday :D
 
Thanks Cate :) Sometimes it's hard to be confident when you know you've screwed up so many times before. I really want this time to be different though...

Yesterday - Day 7 :)D) saw the first little slip, that's how it always starts with me though, so I'm determined to get my mind back on track. So I had a frustrating, procrastination fuelled day - I knew I had to do my assignment but I was feeling so fed up and bored of this work that I wasted four hours just sitting in front of the laptop doing literally EVERYTHING else...It frustrates me so much when that happens because I waste so much time!!!. So because I was bored and stressed I ended up snacking literally all day. Then, super fed up, went to the gym (or the greenhouse coz they have no air con!! CRAZY) and ran 5k, did yoga, squats and 30s plank :D So overall I managed to stay active, but I came home and after dinner I totally gave in to emotional eating - I knew exactly what I was doing and the main thing I ate loads of was longan fruit but that's not really the point...The point is I was eating even though I wasn't hungry - it's the distraction of a full stomach which, for a little while, numbs the worries and stress. I guess hoping that THAT would magically go away in a week is crazy but I really want to feel in control around food! PATIENCE :D ha ha

Today is a NEW DAY and it's also the beginning of the NEW seven days (this approach really worked when I was doing WW, I kinda miss it because the points system made it really easy to visualise it all...I'm using MFP and it's ok...I guess I trust WW more coz I lost so much weight with it last time and so far I've not been that successful with MFP).

I'm feeling positive(ish:D) and really trying to get myself in a better headspace.

First hurdle behind me, let's see what this week brings.
 
Stress eating happens. Trust me.. I know. :oops: haha! Don't let it get you down. You were active, so that's a big plus! I hope you have a good day today! :)
 
Thanks Jen! Oh! I've just noticed your little quote (in pink and purple, how lovely :D). That's exactly what I need to keep in mind!
 
Hahah, thank you!!! You rock!
 
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