Hi,
I'm new to this forum, but it looks friendly and supportive and I thought I would just jump right in there and start a diary of my new weight loss journey.
Bit of history...
I have always struggled with weight. Middle of highschool, 15 and the weight crept on and on and on. I became too fat for my so called friends to want to hang around me anymore and became incredibly self concious and insecure. I decided to stop eating and did so with some success. I don't think i was anorexic in the true sense of the word, I didn't obsess, simply decided to not eat brekkie, had an apple for lunch and because of how my family ate, had to eat dinner, but only ever ate half. My parents didn't notice, but I did lose weight, I'd say about 20kg or so, dropped from what was close to an 18 (australian sizing) and went to a 12-14. I managed to keep that weight off for a few years, but was still a 'big' girl.
I met my now husband and when we started dating I started eating. My weight ballooned out of control, and I'm glad that he is someone who could look past how grotesque i was and loved me for me. My highest weight I have no idea. Looking at pictures I'd say close to 130kg (around 286pd). We were married, I fell pregnant and I lost my appetite, at 8 weeks I developed severe morening sickness that lasted 8 weeks. I weighed myself at 6 weeks at I was around 120kg (264pd). By the time the morning sickness wore off I'd lost 10kg and I was down to 110kg (242pd). But I certainly made up for that and I gained all of it back if not more. I stopped weighing myself and have no idea how much I really gained, but it wasn't pretty.
After I had my 1st son, I was 120kg (264pd) and got into the weight loss routine, and lost 20kg exactly, I hit 100kg (220pd) and then found out I was pregnant with my 2nd. I was determined this time to do it right and not end up so big. I only gained 12kg (26pd) up to week 31, then developed late onset Gestational Diabetes that the Doctors never picked up, so ended up gaining 6kg (13pd) in the final weeks. My baby ended up being 11pd born, and I ended up at 112kg (246pd) after birth.
8 months after she was born I developed Type II diabetes & PCOS (polycycstic ovarian syndrome). At 23 this was a huge shock and wake up call to me. My dad has suffered with diabetes his whole adult life and I didn't want to end up like him. So that idea started turning in my head that I needed to do something.
It took me 6 months to get on board properly, in that time my weight crept up again and I started out at 118kg (260pd) exactly. I don't know why but I woke up, weighed myself and that number just scared me senseless. I started on meal replacement shakes for a week, not all meals just some, dropped some weight and then started looking for more long term weight loss ideas. I setteld on calorie counting and daily exercise. It took me 2 years of food diaries, constant exercising (up to 2 hours or more a day) and I finally lost all my weight and got to a healthy BMI. I weighed 73kg (160pd) (my height is 173cm so that is a good weight for me) and then I gave myself the ultimate reward of a tummy tuck. I lost 2kg of skin from my stomach and felt so much more healthy and just able to live life.
However it didn't last long, I had a lot of emotional set backs, the realisation that i still didn't like 'me' despite not looking so horrible, I felt exposed, and even more insecure of myself than ever before. I struggled to maintain a normal life and struggled to deal with the extra attention from society in general. Being fat means you're in the shadows, no one looks at you (unless to laugh) your opinion isn't worth anything and you're expected to be dumb. My husbands insecurities came out after a 'friend' of mine asked him straight out if he was worried about me getting hit on etc, he hadn't thought of it and his attitude changed towards me and my weight loss, it was more of a threat than a success. Everything came to a screaming halt when a mate of his tried to hit on me and he all of a sudden couldn't muster the same enthusiasm for my new look. I can't blame him, I never encouraged anything or gave him reason not to trust me, and if the situation was reversed I'd probably feel the same way.
Over the two following years the weight very slowly crept back on. It was like a subconcious thing, I couldn't exercise because of knee surgery I'd had, which didn't help that i had gone from 2 hours+ a day, to nothing at all for over 6 months. I expected some gains from that alone, but I lost motivation to maintain without being able to exercise as well.
By the time 2007 rolled around I had weighed 92kg (202pd) for some time. I fell pregnant with our 3rd child and I gained very little. I didn't crack the 100kg (220pd) mark and went back to just above my pre-pregnancy weight 96kg (209pd) after birth. I maintained that weight and when my son was 8 months old concieved our fourth child. Again, gained very little and ended up at the same pre-pregnancy weight. He's almost 12months old now and my weight has been creeping up and up and up. I'm now sitting at 106kg (233pd) and I have finally got that feeling that enough is enough. Hence why I'm here writing out this epic tale!
I herniated a disc in my lower back whilst pregnant the last time and had surgery in December last year. This has contributed a lot to my weight gains as I have pretty much been on on bedrest for the first half of the year and only the last 3 months have seen me able to do more things. But I am still extremely limited, which is frustrating but hell I'm going to find a way to work around it!
One other thing as well, it's really surprising to me even now that so many people would comment on my weight as I lost it, but no-one has commented on my weight as I've gained it. I got some old photos of me by e-mail the other day from a friend we haven't seen for almost 10 years. I am only 15-20kg (35-45pd) away from where I was and it's scary to think how fast I could end up back there again. But not one person has said anything to me. How sad is that.
Anyway, today I am doing my calorie counting, I've kept a written food diary in my kitchen and I'm making note of everything I'm putting in my mouth. It's already helping the commitment to no snacking. I've done a workout as far as my back will let me and my muscles are still shaky
so that's a good sign that I've worked them! I'll try and get out for a walk this afternoon as long as the kids are all sorted.
I'll leave it there for now. I'm starting at 106kg (233pd) and I would like to eventually end up around 75kg (165pd). My first goal is to get back to 100kg (220pd). I've already worked out that i have to lose 30% of my total body weight, and it sounds like so much! But baby steps and I'll get there.
I'm new to this forum, but it looks friendly and supportive and I thought I would just jump right in there and start a diary of my new weight loss journey.
Bit of history...
I have always struggled with weight. Middle of highschool, 15 and the weight crept on and on and on. I became too fat for my so called friends to want to hang around me anymore and became incredibly self concious and insecure. I decided to stop eating and did so with some success. I don't think i was anorexic in the true sense of the word, I didn't obsess, simply decided to not eat brekkie, had an apple for lunch and because of how my family ate, had to eat dinner, but only ever ate half. My parents didn't notice, but I did lose weight, I'd say about 20kg or so, dropped from what was close to an 18 (australian sizing) and went to a 12-14. I managed to keep that weight off for a few years, but was still a 'big' girl.
I met my now husband and when we started dating I started eating. My weight ballooned out of control, and I'm glad that he is someone who could look past how grotesque i was and loved me for me. My highest weight I have no idea. Looking at pictures I'd say close to 130kg (around 286pd). We were married, I fell pregnant and I lost my appetite, at 8 weeks I developed severe morening sickness that lasted 8 weeks. I weighed myself at 6 weeks at I was around 120kg (264pd). By the time the morning sickness wore off I'd lost 10kg and I was down to 110kg (242pd). But I certainly made up for that and I gained all of it back if not more. I stopped weighing myself and have no idea how much I really gained, but it wasn't pretty.
After I had my 1st son, I was 120kg (264pd) and got into the weight loss routine, and lost 20kg exactly, I hit 100kg (220pd) and then found out I was pregnant with my 2nd. I was determined this time to do it right and not end up so big. I only gained 12kg (26pd) up to week 31, then developed late onset Gestational Diabetes that the Doctors never picked up, so ended up gaining 6kg (13pd) in the final weeks. My baby ended up being 11pd born, and I ended up at 112kg (246pd) after birth.
8 months after she was born I developed Type II diabetes & PCOS (polycycstic ovarian syndrome). At 23 this was a huge shock and wake up call to me. My dad has suffered with diabetes his whole adult life and I didn't want to end up like him. So that idea started turning in my head that I needed to do something.
It took me 6 months to get on board properly, in that time my weight crept up again and I started out at 118kg (260pd) exactly. I don't know why but I woke up, weighed myself and that number just scared me senseless. I started on meal replacement shakes for a week, not all meals just some, dropped some weight and then started looking for more long term weight loss ideas. I setteld on calorie counting and daily exercise. It took me 2 years of food diaries, constant exercising (up to 2 hours or more a day) and I finally lost all my weight and got to a healthy BMI. I weighed 73kg (160pd) (my height is 173cm so that is a good weight for me) and then I gave myself the ultimate reward of a tummy tuck. I lost 2kg of skin from my stomach and felt so much more healthy and just able to live life.
However it didn't last long, I had a lot of emotional set backs, the realisation that i still didn't like 'me' despite not looking so horrible, I felt exposed, and even more insecure of myself than ever before. I struggled to maintain a normal life and struggled to deal with the extra attention from society in general. Being fat means you're in the shadows, no one looks at you (unless to laugh) your opinion isn't worth anything and you're expected to be dumb. My husbands insecurities came out after a 'friend' of mine asked him straight out if he was worried about me getting hit on etc, he hadn't thought of it and his attitude changed towards me and my weight loss, it was more of a threat than a success. Everything came to a screaming halt when a mate of his tried to hit on me and he all of a sudden couldn't muster the same enthusiasm for my new look. I can't blame him, I never encouraged anything or gave him reason not to trust me, and if the situation was reversed I'd probably feel the same way.
Over the two following years the weight very slowly crept back on. It was like a subconcious thing, I couldn't exercise because of knee surgery I'd had, which didn't help that i had gone from 2 hours+ a day, to nothing at all for over 6 months. I expected some gains from that alone, but I lost motivation to maintain without being able to exercise as well.
By the time 2007 rolled around I had weighed 92kg (202pd) for some time. I fell pregnant with our 3rd child and I gained very little. I didn't crack the 100kg (220pd) mark and went back to just above my pre-pregnancy weight 96kg (209pd) after birth. I maintained that weight and when my son was 8 months old concieved our fourth child. Again, gained very little and ended up at the same pre-pregnancy weight. He's almost 12months old now and my weight has been creeping up and up and up. I'm now sitting at 106kg (233pd) and I have finally got that feeling that enough is enough. Hence why I'm here writing out this epic tale!
I herniated a disc in my lower back whilst pregnant the last time and had surgery in December last year. This has contributed a lot to my weight gains as I have pretty much been on on bedrest for the first half of the year and only the last 3 months have seen me able to do more things. But I am still extremely limited, which is frustrating but hell I'm going to find a way to work around it!
One other thing as well, it's really surprising to me even now that so many people would comment on my weight as I lost it, but no-one has commented on my weight as I've gained it. I got some old photos of me by e-mail the other day from a friend we haven't seen for almost 10 years. I am only 15-20kg (35-45pd) away from where I was and it's scary to think how fast I could end up back there again. But not one person has said anything to me. How sad is that.
Anyway, today I am doing my calorie counting, I've kept a written food diary in my kitchen and I'm making note of everything I'm putting in my mouth. It's already helping the commitment to no snacking. I've done a workout as far as my back will let me and my muscles are still shaky
so that's a good sign that I've worked them! I'll try and get out for a walk this afternoon as long as the kids are all sorted.I'll leave it there for now. I'm starting at 106kg (233pd) and I would like to eventually end up around 75kg (165pd). My first goal is to get back to 100kg (220pd). I've already worked out that i have to lose 30% of my total body weight, and it sounds like so much! But baby steps and I'll get there.
