So conflicted

[Mousy]

This is my first post here - I hope it's okay to post here first rather than the Intro forum. I'm not very keen on writing about myself so I'd rather only do it in one thread at once!

I thought I'd join the forum so I initially could talk about my conflicting feelings regarding muscle gain. I'm a woman, and I do want to gain muscle - and I find it very, very easy to gain muscle. I currently do Chinese pole acrobatics and I want to get back into powerlifting, because my aunt is a champion and I have her genes!

However, pretty unfortunately, I also work in fashion, and thus tend to be surrounded by imagery of very thin women. My coworkers don't hesitate to tell me that I'm chunky, and that I should be careful building muscle or I won't fit into clothes, I'll end up like a man, etc etc etc. which is all crap, of course (... okay, so I am having more trouble fitting into my clothes than I used to but I still look like a lady!).

Anyway, even though it's all crap, it still bothers me. I have put on 7kg since I last weighed myself, which I'm hoping is mostly muscle (I am getting much, much stronger every time I practice pole) but that weight gain has made me feel worse anyway... even though I want to gain muscle..!! That said, I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I do want to burn some fat, because I would like to enter powerlifting contests at some point... and obviously a lower weight is an easier weight to lift on the pole, too.

I don't want to be skinny at all - I want to be strong and learn more Chinese pole tricks - but I still feel conflicted. Has anyone got any advice/similar stories/general ramblings to share? I'd really appreciate it!

 

[Goldfish]

I wish I'd come into this thread much earlier, since it's unlikely you'll come back and see it now. Oh well. Maybe you will. Maybe someone else will. Hopefully my ramblings won't be in vain

So, first things first, I'll put it out there that I think muscle on a woman is sexy...unless her biceps are bigger than mine, or her bodyfat% is lower than mine, both of which are extremes typically left to female bodybuilders and similar competitors. Muscle is what feminine curves (other than those made by bone structure and boobs) are made of. Muscle is what makes a woman perky and keeps her bum up on her hips instead of halfway down her legs. Muscle is what creates the "toned" look women keep saying they want - without it there's only skinny and fat (which aren't always distinct from each other), not lean, not voluptuous, not curvy.

The fashion industry is problematic. If you're modelling, then perhaps moving across to fitness modeling would be more up your alley. Or knock on Kim Kardashian's door and offer to be her bum's stunt double. One of the two. The mainstream fashion industry just promotes skinniness. To be honest, there are very few fashion models who I've ever found remotely attractive, and I don't think I'm weird for feeling that way. The fashion industry pushes its models to look like thirteen-year-old boys for crying out loud!! Recently everyone's been raving about how much better Miranda Kerr looks after having a baby, the cause simply being that she's gained weight and looks more like a woman now (she still doesn't grab my attention, but anyway...).

 

[babymuscles]

I agree with Goldfish. Strong is sexy. I understand how hard it is to deal with others and their nonsense when it comes to YOUR body, but understand that is is YOUR body and what YOU want matters. Stop trying to fit into their idea of beauty and do what YOU want. I know it's easier said than done. I'm in the process of doing the same thing for myself.