So Ashamed

Punkygirl0101

Punkygirl0101

New member
The last time I was active on this forum (A little over a year) I weighed 285.

I am ashamed, and so saddened to come back now weighing 305 pounds (5'11"). I failed at losing weight, my will power was just not strong enough. My BMI is 42. I am at risk for so many diseases..type 2 diabetes is on the way for me (I already have early warning signs). For my health, and my life..I need to lose weight. Why does it have to be SO hard?!?!

I am only 19 years old...

I know only I can help myself, but I am hoping if I stick around I can get some support and can help myself!
 
I completely understand what your going through!! I signed up, like 3 yrs ago and I have only yo yo'd the whole time. No permanent loss yet :( BUT I am determined to do it and it sounds like you are too!!!

I have adopted a saying and I need to stick w/ it..maybe you can adopt the saying too...but it helps if I keep reminding myself to take "baby steps" this week work on one goal, like a healthier breakfast, the next, do healthier breakfast and lunch, ect. I think the problem w/ me...like so many others, is that we want the weight to come off NOW!!! But it just doesn't work that way.

I hope you stick around too...theres TONS of good advice and support here !!

welcome aboard and let me or any of the mod's know if you have any questions :D
 
I can help--I'm a medical doctor with a special interest in weight loss.

Girl, I understand. I grew up weighing double what all the other kids weighed. But here's the great news: it's NEVER too late to start over.

If you want to lose a large amount of weight, just forget about regular dieting. You really have to address the underlying reasons why you gained the weight to begin with. If you just focus on controlling the food you eat, you're toast (no pun intended).

I'll walk you through it. I know how to do it. I lost 75 pounds and have kept it off for 25 years. I studied obesity and weight control at Cornell, and I counsel my own patients all the time.

First, make sure you're healthy. Check with your doctor. Second, start tuning into your hunger pangs. Let yourself feel them before you eat, and then eat food you love (even cheeseburgers, pizza, dessert--anything), but in very small amounts--MUCH MUCH less than you think is normal. Don't eat until you're "full" because that's way too much, especially since your stomach is probably stretched out.

As I said in my weight loss book (which isn't available anywhere but my website), "eat behind your hunger," rather than ahead of it.


God bless you.
 
Waiting for hunger pangs before eating is certainly smart...but we live in a society that revolves around food and if we were only eating when hungry we would never become overweight.

A person has to come up with ways to distract themselves from boredom eating, a way to substitute healthy, low cal alternatives in social eating situations and a way to incorporate physical activity in a way that they can continue for life.

I think the advice to wait for hunger pangs is simplistic and doesn't address any of the reasons why a person gained weight to begin with.
 
Punkygirl0101 said:
The last time I was active on this forum (A little over a year) I weighed 285.

I am ashamed, and so saddened to come back now weighing 305 pounds (5'11"). I failed at losing weight, my will power was just not strong enough. My BMI is 42. I am at risk for so many diseases..type 2 diabetes is on the way for me (I already have early warning signs). For my health, and my life..I need to lose weight. Why does it have to be SO hard?!?!

I am only 19 years old...

I know only I can help myself, but I am hoping if I stick around I can get some support and can help myself!
Click to expand...

Dont EVER be ashamed, young man.

Within you, you have all you will ever need to accomplish what ever you want. Figure out your personal puzzle young man.

Do not forget this.

We all fall and have weaknesses. No one is without fault. The difference is getting back up, and learning a great deal of information from the last time you had went down, and then getting back up.

If you fall down get up infinite amount of times that it takes to accomplish what you are after.


Success is all in your head. Achievement is the physical manifestation of your success. Manifest your success today..............


" I am smart. I can do this. ​


No one can stop me. Not even myself."​



When things seem like they are worse than ever and there is no way out...know that you are right there... right at the breaking point...there is no other way to go but up.

Sometimes we give up at the exact moment that change is about to occur for the better. If you know you are doing the right thing, keep going and you will get the results you are looking for.

(Marion Licchiello)


This quote is true for all areas of life. Think about it - weight loss - you could be doing the right thing, eating right, exercising and you see a # on the scale and you give up, even though tomorrow you would've seen that 3 lb drop that's been adding up. You are on a road and you know you're going the right way and just before you get to the street you turn around instead of asking for directions. You are about to make a breakthrough on an invention but you give up due to failures. You are a salesman who has been rejected several times and the next call might be that $1,000,000 YES but you give up and lose out. Think about the amount of times athletes strike out and keep going. Think about a baby who is learning to walk... would we ever learn to walk if we gave up because it was too hard. NO!! Think twice before giving up.


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Get excited and enthusiastic about your own dream. ​


This excitement is like a forest fire -you can smell it, taste it, and see it from a mile away.​


When you want your goal badly enough, feel the intensity of it, let it fuel your waking thoughts and actions, let it influence you in all ways possible and let nothing get in the way of achieving it."

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If you can see a way when everybody says there's no way. Know that you have an extra-ordinary spirit to do the impossible.​

​


When you have the courage to turn within and learn about the "your" inner laws of being (i.e. what worked in the past and what didn't) and take the positive and constructive aspects, can you truly experience satisfaction in your life.

I truly believe that if we envision a goal and stay positively focused, that anything is possible; it's important to learn from past failures; whether it be in relationships, career or family. Without taking a risk and facing our fears, then an individual will never grow and will only stay stagnant.

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Well over half the time that a baseball player comes to the plate to bat, odds are he is going to get an out, yet he continues to go to the plate to bat:

If you don't take a swing at the ball, then you don't have an opportunity to strike out. Worst of all though, you don't have an opportunity to hit the homerun to win the game. Take this and go out there swinging in the game of life. It's worth it!

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I never had a mother or father to encourage me, rather they destroyed my spirit. I had all the ingredients to be a personal disaster (read my unfinished portion on my childhood in the COL), and I had to mold myself into being productive in life:

JUST DO IT!​

My grandfather used to say this to encourage me when I was younger; it is simple but true. We can dream all we want but nothing will change, say what we are going to do and never get round to it. It is a habit to let other things get in the way, to put off what you want, simply due to the effort involved. However, nothing will change unless you quite simply act upon your thoughts, your words and your dreams. In other words, "just do it".

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A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights on; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change.

(Earl Nightingale--modified by Chillen)


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Go further. Go beyond. Go as far as you can. The limit is only in the mind. When you reach it, break it!

(Haniffa)

The repetitive words are a powerful choice to drill into your mind that you can do it - to overcome the limitations that only you see.


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Whatever is your goal, whatever is your dream, just keep going; keep trying, keep pushing, keep pulling, keep fighting.

Realize that pain and discomfort WILL be present often enough to get you to think if all of this is really worth it.

Realize that sometimes you WILL hear words of discouragement come out from other people's mouths.

But when you know in your heart that you CAN achieve your goal, when you know your dream CAN become a reality, you accept these facts; you become aware that they will be a part of your journey. You acknowledge all of this, focus on what you desire AND YOU JUST KEEP GOING.


ROCK ON!

EDIT: I made another series of posts in another thread on the forum, I would like you read about: Mastering the Self.

Go here: http://weight-loss.fitness.com/topi...ar-psychology-need-assistance.html#post461460

Chillen
 
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I don't have any easy answers...I think most of us who have struggled with our weight for so long seem to know every fact and tip to lose weight there is, but like you said it's not easy. And it's different for every person...figuring out what your triggers are and what motivates you. And others may disagree but I think weight loss is very different for people who have fought it for most of their lives as opposed to people who have had a temporary period of weight gain. Our bodies literally seem to fight us every stinkin step of the way. I've had periods of short term success thinking I was finally on the road home, only to have the weight come back. But just know you are not alone and you have support here. This I have already seen in the short time since I joined this forum. Hang in there, we're here for ya
 
You definitely should not feel ashamed of yourself. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. One of my favorite qualities in people is PERSISTENCE. This quote's for you:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race” - Calvin Coolidge


The fact that you are back here trying again speaks volumes about the type of person you are.

And by the way, I'm in a similar situation. I first found this site about 11 months ago. I weighed about 150lbs and was complaining about needing to lose 20lbs. I tried a diet and even subscribed to a gym. As the time passed, however, my motivation waned and suffice to say that I did not lose the weight (I gained some in fact) and the membership to my gym has since expired.

I came back to the forum weighing 175lbs. Yes, that means that I roughly gained 15lbs. Coming back here, now truly feeling overweight, was a little hard, but you know what? I don't feel ashamed at all and never have felt ashamed. You know what I feel? Excited. I feel really good because I'm trying again and I'm confident that I can do it. I know it now. :)

I've been modifying my eating habits for the last 11 days. So far I've lost 10lbs. I am eating roughly 1200-1400 calories and doing a combination workout (treadmill; tae bo; pilates; and weight training). I'm not overworking myself. I'm not starving myself. And I'm most certainly not mentally punishing myself.

I credit the fact that I'm actually losing weight this time and not feeling weak or hungry to the latter statement.

I'm not 100% perfect with the way I feel about myself, but I make a conscious effort every single day to NOT put myself down. It takes work to get to really love yourself and trust yourself and before you can lose weight, you need to work on the way you treat yourself.

It's possible to lose weight by punishing yourself, with food or with words. I'm sure it's possible. But what's also possible, and quicker, and better and pretty damn incredible, is losing weight by being kind to yourself FIRST. You are more important than your weight and you need to realize that right now.

Welcome back and I know you can do it. Good luck!
 
a very good friend of mine told me one time, "don't think of losing weight, think of gaining thin"

she was in essence telling me to be positive and I continue to stay positive on my journey.

i'm 340lbs. and I don't have a goal weight, but I do have a goal.... healthy to feel better than I did yesterday, that is my goal today!

we are here to support you as you struggle, love you when you're down and make ya :smilielol5: to help you through it, but keep positive!

We're gonna do this together! one step at a time
 
I was 309 2 years ago... Im 280 now:ack2:... I lost and gained again... your not alone Punky! :party: none of us are.. there are a lot of people here that know how hard it is and you have nothing to be ashamed about. :grouphug:

I think one of the first things you have to do to get on the right track of loosing weight is to get your head in the right place. :banghead: Guilt is not a good motivator... trust me I know... you have to think of it differently.
:hug2:

How I am trying to change how I think is this.. 'I am not like most people, I cannot eat anything I want.' I keep telling myself this it isnt about just a diet... you have to change habits, habits that have taken 19 years to form will take a while to undo... we will never be people who can just eat anything, this is a lifetime change we must make if we will ever overcome our weight problems. :hurray: We can do this! Whenever I'm feeling down... I blame my parents.. its their genes that made me what I am! It helps.. I hate them anyway lol!
 
This is a reply to what Judy D said.

Eating according to hunger is the basis for eating properly. But, as you point out, it's not the whole answer. It's just that I can't write all of the answer in one spot. There's too much to say. Tha't's why I wrote a book on it.

If you want to read more, you can check out my website. It's not done yet, but if you at least want to peek at my artwork, it's LINK DELETED


Yes, indeed, you have to address the underlying reasons why you're tempted to eat when you're not physically hungry. Usually, it's emotional--stress, anger, anxiety, depression, boredom, and other reasons. And the world of advertising tempts us with pictures, smells, and even jingles.

All I'm saying is that you need a plumb line, a reference. When you feel the urge to eat, at the very minimum you have to check it against what your body is saying on the inside. Ask yourself if you're hungry. If not, get out of the house. Go for a walk. Get distracted. Now, I'm a Christian, so I say go pray. Volunteer. Do something to get your mind off eating.

You see, Judy, I agree with you. It's a two-fold problem. But even if you address the underlying reason, you still need to get back in touch with your hunger pangs if you want to learn how to eat the right amount of food for your body and keep it off.

Try it. Each time you're tempted to eat, check with your stomach. If you don't feel hunger pangs, run away from the food and do something productive. Then, when you're truly hungry, eat something delicious--even fattening food, but only a tiny amount, remembering you can eat the rest later. Try for half portions or less. Don't eat until you're "full" because your stomach may be stretched out.

Try it, okay?
 
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Heya, and welcome back! Earlier this past year, I lost weight, then gained it back, and am currently losing again. It makes it all worth setting your mind to it once you see that scale start to go in the right direction again :)

Are you keeping a diary? And also, what are YOUR ideas as far as eating and exercise that you are currently aiming for?
 
One handy tip is to have something to focus on.

Personally I have a picture of me I have beside my bed. At the start I used to look at that photo everyday and say to myself "This is me but I'm going to change". With a couple of weeks gone by, I have lost some weight. Now everyday I wake up and say to myself "That was me, and there's no turning back".

Diet, exersize and healthy living are only part of it. Motivation and determination you will find in yourself and on this forum.
 
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