Snide comments - rant

[Guest]

Snide comments to me are simply carefully couched verbal or emotional abuse. I would dearly love it if all the people who feel so smug when they jab another person with a verbal insult - that they think is so funny - would realize that it is a nasty foul habit and they should be darned ashamed of belittling another human being! Grrrrr!

What prompted this? One of my family is a master of the snide comment. The latest was hurled at me while I was exercising. The person said, "Oh! Look at that fat little body" There was a big smirk and a laugh. Can you say, "jerk?"

Bet they come back as an ant in the next life.

 

[Guest]

I am human too, and I sometimes take hits....

I also try to keep this quote in mind;

THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE SAY TO YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, IT HAS TO DO WITH HOW THEY ARE FEELING ABOUT THEMSELVES. (HENCE DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY) People Speak their own insecurities.
C.F

If this family member as you say is a master of snide comments, cockiness is just a form of being insecure, (not alot of self-confidence, self-esteem), bullying, ect, to make themselves feel better. There can be a fine line with cockiness too though, such as teasing....playfully, or to hurt.

Try to remember to ***Consider The Source*** as well, when you know this person may have a habit of saying comment's such as this, work on trying to shrug it off. I know it is painful, I know it feels personal, they prob do it to others too.

Maybe at this time they're not the best person to be around when exercising, or for any other time for that matter. If you brought it to their attention in a civil non-pointing the finger kind of way, they may take it into consideration to not say anything at all, or try something different.

 

[Amiba]

even when you try not to pay attention it hurts. I know

also sometimes the source is someone you love. the ''witty'' comments about your weight when they come from a family member or partner are specially hurtful, but even then you have to realize that most times they don't mean any harm
my mom used to say all the time how fat I am and even grab my love handles. this would inflict a whole lot of pain but I realized it was her twisted way of saying she cares and wants to see me happy, as I've never felt happy in this size. but it is like, heck keep it to yourself! you are not helping.

I agree with the fact people speak their own insecurities. many times it is just the way they ''grab onto'' something to just make fun of, it is a vicious, social habit that many people indulge to fit in, trying to be funny making fun of the ''easy'' targets. also if they feel the need to make fun of someone else to feel better about themselves they are very insecure in the end.

what I do is I try to remain calm and not get emotionally affected by it. sometimes I would politely ask them to reconsider what they just said and if they find it necessary to make fun of someone else's weight and if it makes them feel better about themselves, when you answer with something they don't expect and you don't get affected by it they slowly start to realize it isn't fun to do so, just plain stupid.
hope this helps!

 

[ABBAgirl]

I wonder if you have ever responded to the stupid jerk immediately following their comment? I have found that being direct, but not volatile, can be helpful. For example: "Why did you just say that? What did you hope to accomplish by making that comment? IT HURTS ME WHEN YOU SAY THAT!"

Sorry you have jerks close enough in your life to cause such pain.

ABBA