*Sigh* Kind of depressed and starting all over again...

N

neveragain

New member
New beginning = New Diary!

So after reaching 119, everything kind of went downhill.
Had a shitload of family issues and I almost lost a sibling... They're not good excuses and they dont justify me going back up to... 132 POUNDS! x_x but they triggered a lot of painful emotions and a rough depression and I just dealt with it the only way I know how... With lots and lots of food, plus hiding in my room to avoid letting my friends/family see how big I'm getting...

I've been trying to start over for a few weeks now, I'll have one good day and then binge like crazy for the next 4 so it's definitely not working out.
I'm hoping that writing here everyday will help me lose the pounds I gained and the ones I wanted to lose in the first place =/

Anyway I'm going to bed. :sleeping: night :p
 
Well, for what it's worth, looks like you got some of the harder part out of the way. Admitting it.

I see a lot of people with the mindset that the greatest act of willpower is their diet, exercise and such, and that's high up on the list. I think the real gut check time (pardon the pun) is forgiving yourself, realizing there is no failure here, only setbacks and learning, and then moving on and getting right back into it.
 
So after starting this I haven't been able to stick to my diet at all. I keep doing good during the day and something just comes over me during the night and I eat like crazy, I don't know why I can't stop binging and it's really ruining my life, I don't even see my friends anymore cos I don't want them seeing how heavy I got in one freaking month.

I'm gonna post what I eat here everyday to try and hold myself accountable for it. I don't know what to do anymore I'm just so tired of not doing what I wanna do, what the hell is wrong with me!? x_x
 
Hey,

I just started my diary thread here and I'm going to be posting my food each day... I think it's a good way to keep motivated to eat well, who wants to have to admit they've been at the chocolate eh?? :)

Just try to think positive and stick at it...! x
 
Big D said:
realizing there is no failure here, only setbacks and learning, and then moving on and getting right back into it.
Click to expand...



This this this. We all stumble occasionally. If we all knew exactly what to do, we wouldnt be here. Learning and moving on is a critical part of successfull LONG TERM weight loss!
 
Hey :) thanks for the comments, it helps to know that there's people out there struggling with the same thing, screwing up and then just getting back on track all over again.

So today's food log (first time I'm able to eat right in I don't even know how long):

2 cereal bars (150 cals)
3 egg whites
1/2 an avocado
4 slices of low fat cheese
2 cups of cherries
1 peach
1 pickle
1 cup of lettuce
1 steak (260 cals)

Around 1200-1300 calories so great day, hopefully I can keep it up.
I'm gonna go to the gym tomorrow. I was doing the C25k program before, I guess i'll start that again.

If anyone reads this I have an awkward question, :blush5: so now that I'm heavier (went from 119 to 134 in 5 weeks x_x) whenever I jog my erm butt hurts a lot, it just bounces way too much and not only is it annoying but it's actually pretty painful :S.
Do any of u have any advice? I'm thinking about buying some tight spandex shorts to wear under my sweats to keep it from doing that.

Anyway that's it for today, night everyone.
 
Bike pants would be good, they have good support and the chamois in them helps to prevent the chafe that you get from the sweat.
 
neveragain said:
2 cereal bars (150 cals)
3 egg whites
1/2 an avocado
4 slices of low fat cheese
2 cups of cherries
1 peach
1 pickle
1 cup of lettuce
1 steak (260 cals)

Around 1200-1300 calories so great day, hopefully I can keep it up.
Click to expand...

Wow, that's a good day!! Wish I had that sort of willpower lol. x
 
Didn't go to the gym today but I did go out and walk my dog... I've been kinda depressed lately (hence the title of the thread) so my sleeping schedules are really fucked up, I'll stay up till 7am and then just wake up during the afternoon. I'm hoping that exercise will help me fix that.

Anyway I've had around 970 cals so far, I'll probably have a snack later tonight and make it to 1200, I just woke up uber later today so meh and I barely did anything :p.

Food Log

1 apple cereal bar (72 cal)
1 strawberry cereal bar (90 cal)
1 whole egg + 1 egg white
3 slices of low fat cheddar
6 crackers (110 cals)
2 servings of veggie chop suey (30 cals)
5 slices of beef (135 cals)
2 tbsp of soy sauce
1 strawberry yoplait yogurt (60 cals)
1Sandwich ( 1/2 tuna can, lettuce, 2 cherry tomatoes, 1/2 pickle, grated parmesan, 2 pieces of toast)
2 cans of diet soda

I'll edit later to add my snack.

I love how I had breakfast, lunch, dinner and a bunch of snacks and I woke up at like 3pm? Wtf :S i'm always hungry.


Quick question, should I still be eating 1200 cals even if I'm not doing anything? Like all I did today was walk my dog, literally... So maybe I should aim for 1100 or 1000? and eat 1200-1300 when I work out or just move around a bit more?
 
Ok so I binged x_x for two or 3 days, can't even remember.
Day started out ok, then my sister wanted to make fries and bah I just gave in and ate a shitload of those and after that I just didn't care anymore and ate everything in sight.

I'm back on track though, have been for the last 3 days, had some diet chocolate ice cream yesterday but I was still in my calorie range cos I worked out and all. I lost a little bit of weight, binging and all included so yay.

I hope that next weeks challenge (logging your daily food intake) helps me keep everything under control.
 
so long as you don't give up you will get past the setbacks but you shouldn't be eating under your 1200 cals
 
Hey,

I have been logging all my food and drink this time and posting it here for everyone to see - it DOES keep me motivated, because writing it all down I can see how it adds up and have got a more realistic perspective now of what I'm eating. Plus, when I'm tempted to pick up something naughty and eat it, I remind myself I wouldn't like having to admit that to everyone on my diary... so I leave it lol. :) I've found it really useful motivation!!

Anyway never mind on the few "off days"... at least you've picked yourself back up and got back on the straight and narrow. x
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top