Shedding The Fetters

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fetterless

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Hello Diary Forum! :biggrinjester:

Who am I? I am Opal, I am 21, I live in a Welsh valley, I'm my mum's carer and little sister's guardian and I like painting and playing guitar.

I'm here cause I want to lose some pounds, and am trying not to end up eating-disordered in the process, especially considering I gained them through depressive binge eating... I'm not depressed any longer, but still having trouble eating normally, and now and again swing to the side of not eating enough, but I am determined to get back to normal somehow.

I'm 118lbs, but I'm very short, so I think I look more like 170. Also I am a runner, I love racing, and I want to get faster - every one of those lbs is weighing me down. I plan to be around 108. But I'm not focusing on the number on the scale - mainly I just want to be able to fit into my old clothes and show off my muscles -- which are hardcore! I'm known for being strong, but all that power is invisible under the layers of fat! Which makes me sad.

I would looove it if anyone with time could check out my plan and let me know if they think it will be effective.

My plan is:

- Eat 9000-10,000 calories a week.
- Run 20 miles a week.
- Walk 20 miles a week.
- Do strength exercises for 140 minutes a week.

Short and simple to make it easy to keep track, I'm hoping to lose about 2lbs a week.

Last week was 'week 1' of this plan... I went about 1500 over on the calories, which is definitely going to be my weak point. BUT, I ran 23 miles and walked 21. Only strength trained for 55 minutes but still better than nothing. It made me realise though, this is going to be harder to stick to than I thought, so here is me, hoping to motivate myself through the power of writing words into cyberspace! Well, its worked before so I hope it can work for this.

So far this week I am on 6 miles run, 4 walked, 40 mins strength training, and 3000 calories which is on the high side but not awful, considering my current glum mood about my weight at the moment, and how nasty I think I look. But I'm trying not to let those thoughts out. :/
 
First of all WOW!

that is an amazing first weeks effort, i'm in my first week currently and im no where near hitting those sort's of targets. Im going ok on the callories but you are smashing the exercise you should be proud of yourself.

I can't help you with advice as in new to all this as well but you sound very driven and you can do this no sweat. I'm sorry to hear about your mum, but it makes you a better person being a full time carer, i have a friend who does the same thing for his mum and i believe that family is the most important part of life so know that even if it's hard at times, your doing the right thing and it makes you stronger as a person.

Good luck with everything, i hope you can find what you need here. Everyone is very supportive and will guide you if they can.
 
Thank you guys :] Yes, it is certainly easier on me being able to look after them, than it is for them needing the care - and I'd never rest easy if I didn't know I was doing all I could! So it's not a sacrifice on my part at all, but it does leave my days pretty full!!

Still, I am still sticking to the plan ... so far...!

I may make it sound easy but I'm not sure WHY, because I've been trying to lose these few pounds since October 2009, believe it or not. By now, I should be super fit, I know - it's just the habit of binging that keeps stalling my efforts!

As of today I'm on 6300 calories with three days left to go, so it'll be tight...

But I'm on 80 minutes strength training (YEAH!) 11 miles running, and 4 miles walked. I've also played a game of tennis and cycled around 10 miles. Pretty proud of the exercise, I forgot how happy being this active made me. Oh for the days when I did it naturally as a child without having to count.

So into these last three days I have to fit:
- 2700 calories (uh oh)
- 40 mins strength
- 9 miles running
- 9 miles walking

I think I can do it... just!
 
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Helloo again:)
So I think on paper I am doing OK, though I felt a little out of control earlier - I swear I'm the only person in the world who can binge on oats. I just eat them and eat them, especially with cocoa and bananas. I know, I'm bizarre. But even with that I am still under 9000 cals, I'm on 8400 and have one day left to go. So it looks like I will go over 9000, but not too much hopefully.

I'm also on 29 miles run this week which is my record!

I have 6 miles left to walk but I plan to do quite a bit of wandering round my local city Bristol tomorrow.

Strength is NOT on target, I have an hours worth left to do. I won't get a chance to do any tomorrow, so I'm going to try and have a kickboxing/weights session tonight but I doubt it will be an hour long. So, that's not likely to happen. Still it is an improvement on last week. And I think I make up for it with the running. So yay :D
 
Wow doing really! I love your hair too! I think you look good in your pics! People tend to be a lot harder on themselves then other people are. Which I think is nice lol I would rather have it that way then the other way around.

Good luck getting to your goals though :) Been a good week though!
 
Thanks Tally, I'm not sure which way I prefer, I don't like it when people just go "Oh you look great!" and don't seem at all sincere, but I'd rather have that than what I had recently when my sisters employer looked me up and down and said "You don't look fit enough to run a half marathon"... after I'd finished one in 2 hours :/

Anyway... I've somehow managed to inspire myself to get some more core strength training in - I don't look quite as bad as I did in my original 14-lbs-to-go shot, but I still need to do a lot of work for sure. I've literally never seen my abs, I'm getting desperate!
 
WEEK 1 12-19TH MARCH 2011..... RESULTS!!

WEIGHT: 8st 5lbs (down 1lb)
CALORIES: 9500 (in range)
MILES RUN: 29 (over target!)
MILES WALKED: 22 (over target!)
STRENGTH MINUTES: 110 (under target, but up 35 mins from last week)

Review: Awesomeness, if I can keep this up I will be well on my way. Let's see.

So far, this week isn't going too great though. It's only the first day and I've already binged and eaten two day's worth of calories. :( So I'll have to be frugal from now on. My current numbers:

WEEK 2 DAY 1
WALKED: 4 miles (16 left)
CALORIES: 2600 (6400 left)
RUN: 1.5 miles (18.5 left)
STRENGTH TRAINING: 0 minutes (140 left)
 
Week 2 day 2

Urrrgh. Just started today the most awful way by waking up in the middle of the early part of the morning and EATING PANCAKES. I can't believe I did that. Yes, with syrup as well. So, now I'm already on 1400 cals for today and its' meant to be a LOW day after yesterday's indiscretions!!

I'm despairing already, not sure how I can get back from this and save the week, but I've just got to!
 
Still in the red :/ Went over again today... and haven't done a whole lot of exercise. Why did last week feel so effortless compared to this one?!
 
Going green (green equals good in this diary doncha know) although I am so behind my goals, because I AM HAVING A PLAN to rescue this week.

1. Eat 800 cals a day (this will make up the difference from the two days binging)
2. Run today, tomorrow, Thursday, at least 6 miles
3. Strength train today, tomorrow, Thursday, for 40 minutes

I can do this! Nooooo problemmo. :]
 
Back in the red! Oh, it's so frustrating.

I'm having serious levels of stress this week, possibly losing my home very soon and things are very up in the air. Yesterday and today, I comfort ate like there was no tomorrow. :(

I'm on 11,800 cals for the week, so I'm 1,800 over my goal, which is over half a lb, and I still have two days to go.

Running is doing OK, I'm on 16 miles and ditto walking - 19 so far!!

Strength not good at all, I've only managed 40 minutes still.

Not entirely sure how I can save this week. I may even end up gaining weight. Again.
 
WEEK 2 20-26TH MARCH 2011..... RESULTS!!

WEIGHT: 8st 4lbs (down 1lb)
MILES RUN: 20
MILES WALKED: 22 (again!)
CALORIES: I have no idea but it was 17,000+ which is very, very not on track
STRENGTH MINUTES: Only 40 :(

Not a brilliant week by any stretch. In fact... Awful! I could not stop eating!! It didn't help that I went to two parties.

Hope to make Week 3 a bit more successful, as I'm sure I've gained at least a pound.

So far, as of day 2:

Calories: 3,800
Ran: 9 miles
Walked: 11 miles
Strength trained: 10 minutes

Hmm... not too bad. Must strength train more - and eat less!!
 
Week 2 Day 3 update

Calories: 6,300 (uh oh! The weekly target is slipping away. Today I should be on only 3,900)
Ran: 17 miles
Walked: 13 miles
Strength trained: 10 minutes, oh dear this needs work too

I'm soo happy with the running and walking. Eating is way out of control, ditto strength training. I just can't find the energy or time, I'm quite busy and stressed at the moment. I CANNOT control my eating. I really need help, I'm struggling so much with willpower. Every day is a battle, it feels like at the moment.

But yeah, back to the running I did a club run today which was FANTASTIC. It was the hardest I've ever worked on a run, but afterwards the trainer sternly came up to me and started asking me a load of questions, age, time running, etc. I thought I was about to be ticked off for something. Then she said, still without smiling

"You have the potential to be a very good runner"

Yet another piece of motivation to lose these weighty pounds that are holding me back!

Oh, I also cycled six miles today so hopefully that will count for something on the scales. I mean I have no hope for tomorrow after last week's awful awful record but maybe by next week things will be looking up.

I just have to rediscover my Iron Will!!

Mangoes for breakfast tomorrow - then maybe a raw food day or something to stop the cravings! I don't even know I just want to eat within my imposed limits for once.

Weigh in tomorrow for the Wednesday Weight Club..... I am terrified :|
 
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I'm up 1lb. But I'm not too depressed about it, because I was expecting it to be much worse; plus it is how the numbers add up from last week, so it shows that my plan is working!

Today I strength trained for 10 minutes and walked 3 miles. I ate again out of my range, but I have currently got a really good streak going...

No eating after dinner for three days in a row now!!!

This is huge for me cause late night eating is a big problem of mine.

So I am eating a lot, mainly the issue is having seconds of everything. but I'm still feeling positive. :D
 
Last week's results!

Calories: 15,200. about 2100 per day which is very too high :(
Run: 25 miles
Walked: 25 miles
Strength training: 50 mins

So it was better than the one before but still not good enough. Kind of expecting another gain :[

This week though is going awesome. For the first time, I'm in green in every category!

Day 2 Stats
Calories: 2800
Run: 6 miles
Walked: 6 miles
Strength trained: 40 mins

Woopwoop! Although I think the late night hunger may sabotage me later... I am gonna stick to healthy food and hope for the best.
 
I haven't read the whole thread and I find it a bit difficult to comprehend your approach with regard to miles and calories because i don't understand these measurements too well. What is good is that you are exercising and love it.

What i understand is food and exercise especially on a daily basis.

Like many people here, i am a binger too. I think the way to get binging in hand is to eat according to good food and banish the binging foods.

Try writing down what you eat in detail, how much you eat. Know which foods are high fat and high sugar and refined carbohydrates. Get them out of your diet.

From the little bit you've said about the food you eat, it looks like you are eating some pretty binge inclining foods. I find that eating sweet foods makes me want to eat more of it. When i quit such foods, i don't feel like it. If i eat nutritious healthy food, i feel good at the end of my meal and don't feel the need to keep on eating. I don't need to wait anxiously for the next meal.

When i binge, the trouble starts in the supermarket. I might intend to just buy some icecream knowing i will eat the whole 2kg thing. But i will also buy some lolllies or some chocolate or who knows what else. And as my tummy settles it makes room for more. And if i have it at home, i will want to eat it.

If i were to make some pancakes, i'd eat the whole mixture.

If i make scones, i eat the whole lot.

These foods all give you glucose spikes. They are bad bad bad. Not bad in moderation but if you have trouble with moderation the solution is to quit. Replace with healthy foods. Then you may find that you may still succumb on occasion but it will be a lot less frequent so much less damage is done. And also the important thing if you take this route, is to get back to your healthy food habits as soon as possible.

Yes i love oats too. But what's with the cocoa which is probably drinking chocolate and therefore full of sugar. Instead of that try full cream milk and a chopped up apple as i do with no sugar or artificial sweeteners.

Plain food is the opposite of binge inducing. Its still delicious but its healthy and your blood sugar levels will be more even. I think i said glucose levels before i meant blood sugar.

Sounds like you are addicted to sweet and high fat foods. Try giving them up.

Try working out healthy meals instead of this 10 000 or so calories a week. It doesn't look like its sustainable if you ask me. You need to quit the binging habit. Once you get that stabilised, you can then cut back slowly slowly on your other calories if you are still eating too much.
 
Hey FortyFour :]

I think you were right - although I've been offline for months so I never read it at the time - I was making things a little too complicated for myself!


When I say cocoa, I mean plain with no sugar added. You're right though, I was having way too many carbs. Which is definitely a trap I regularly fall into :/


HOWEVER, recently I got a new job. This was hard physical labour, and I just didn't have the time or energy to run, strength train - I was getting up to 10 hours exercise a day anyway.


So that was good.


I knew I had to watch what I was eating because of how hungry I was getting. Then I read a brilliant book about the downsides of sugar, and became convinced that processed sugars are really the worst thing. So I cut those out 100% - no dextrose, syrup, sugar of any kind apart from fructose (ie, in fruit)


I didn't lose any weight. I feel better, but I'm no different in size, in fact probably due to going way over on portion sizes without calorie counting or any other check, I've gained several pounds, which for some reason are ALL UNDER MY CHIN. Why, I have no idea but they are. (Ok, maybe one or two on my thighs and stomach)


This really sucks... so I'm back to calorie counting. One thing I will say about quitting sugar - it makes not binging a lot easier - with very little effort, I've basically stopped doing it. I just eat too much in general now, so gotta sort that out.


I'm going to start running again too.


SO, I think this winter might be IT. The winter I finally find my balance and get back to a normal shape! Exciting. :D
 
Originally Posted by fetterless


Hey FortyFour :]

I think you were right - although I've been offline for months so I never read it at the time - I was making things a little too complicated for myself!



When I say cocoa, I mean plain with no sugar added. You're right though, I was having way too many carbs. Which is definitely a trap I regularly fall into :/



HOWEVER, recently I got a new job. This was hard physical labour, and I just didn't have the time or energy to run, strength train - I was getting up to 10 hours exercise a day anyway.



So that was good.



I knew I had to watch what I was eating because of how hungry I was getting. Then I read a brilliant book about the downsides of sugar, and became convinced that processed sugars are really the worst thing. So I cut those out 100% - no dextrose, syrup, sugar of any kind apart from fructose (ie, in fruit)



I didn't lose any weight. I feel better, but I'm no different in size, in fact probably due to going way over on portion sizes without calorie counting or any other check, I've gained several pounds, which for some reason are ALL UNDER MY CHIN. Why, I have no idea but they are. (Ok, maybe one or two on my thighs and stomach)



This really sucks... so I'm back to calorie counting. One thing I will say about quitting sugar - it makes not binging a lot easier - with very little effort, I've basically stopped doing it. I just eat too much in general now, so gotta sort that out.



I'm going to start running again too.



SO, I think this winter might be IT. The winter I finally find my balance and get back to a normal shape! Exciting. :D
Click to expand...




lol why do our bodies have to be so cruel about how they unevenly distribute our weight?? Really, I mean, can't it just all go to my boobs? ;)


I have read similar things about processed sugar and I've cut them out of my diet too... although that may be more of a preventative measure more than anything because even a little bit kind of sends me on a downward spiral, best not to even deal with it! Is it possible that even though you were cutting out sugar you were still eating food that was very high in fat? These are usually a trade off, you cut out one and you get the other.


What kind of running plan do you do? Any chance you use Nike+?


Make this winter IT! Best of luck :)
 
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