Self Control

N

Noregrets85

New member
So, I decided to start a diary to document my successes and struggles with food and my weight. I'm currently at the highest weight I've been at in an extrmely long time and although it may seem like an OKAY weight to most people, I am very uncomfortable and unsatisfied with it. I'm very petite and small boned, so I look a lot larger than one would think at my current weight. I currently feel so disgusting that I have issues putting on clothes and leaving the house. Everything is tight on me and I just feel slightly miserable.

I plan to use this journal to document my food/exercise daily as well as my progress. I would like to lose 13 lbs.

Today has been a struggle. When I'm feeling fat, it triggers a depression and hopelessness that leads to eating and it becomes a bad cycle. I have managed to keep it under control and not go on an all out binge, however, one has been calling my name all day.

Not much else to say today, so I'll leave it with my stats and intake for the day. Looking forward to making new friends here.

Age- 27
Height- 5'4
Current Weight- 123
Goal Weight 110

Today's Intake:
Ran/walked 3 miles
Greek blood orange yogurt- 140
Chicken carbonera lean cuisine- 240
Lean cuisine flatbread- 300
Popsicle- 100
3 glasses of Chardonnay- 300
1 bag steamed spinach with pepper & a tbspn honey mustard dressing- 100

Total calories- 1180
 
Good luck! I'm having the same struggles of being afraid to go outside because of my weight so I know how you feel. I hope all goes well :)
 
Today started out well. I woke up and went for a 2 miles run. My mom guilted me into going out to lunch with her and we ended up at Chili's. I indulged in a few too many of their delicious chips, but in hind sight, it could have been a lot worse. I've also noticed that I drink a sh*t load of alcohol lately..which I need to work on. My husband came with us, which was nice- because he is sort of a home body who seldom joins me anywhere. I have yet to eat dinner yet, but I'll update with my intake and edit it later to add dinner. I plan to weigh in tomorrow.

Intake:
2 mile run
Greek peach yogurt- 140
Chili's side salad w/ hny mustard dressing-400
Chili's chips/salsa-100
2 Chardonnays- 300
 
Boy, I guess it's been a while since I updated this thing. Unfortunately I come bearing terrible news. Instead of losing weight, I have actually gained 3 lbs. I am now 126 and completely MISERABLE. It's as if a switch has shut off in my mind for these last few weeks and I've been eating everything in sight. I've watching the scale creep up and I've just told myself every day that tomorrow I will do better. Well, it never happens. I'm in such a rut and so uncomfortable in my skin right now. I haven't even been working out


Anyway, this stops today. I am going to change my goal to 115 because it's a nicer rounder number. So.. now I have 11 lbs to lose and I'm going to get serious starting today. I have a bad habit of weighing myself multiple times per day which sparks my emotions and triggers me to binge if I don't like the number. It's ridiculous being the number changes so many times through out the day anyway based on what you eat and I know it's not accurate. I am slightly OCD.


Point being, I don't think I'm going to weigh in until this Friday morning. My period is 2 days away and I always gain massive amounts of weight before/during that evil time of month, so I should probably wait until it's over to weigh in... but I know I wont be able to. I'll just do it Friday. After I get done writing this, I'm picking up my scale from the br floor and putting it in a closet. hah!

It's 7am here and I'm about to get ready for work. I'll be back at the end of the day with a food/exercise update. Here goes another day of wearing sweaters to work to hide my fattness :(
 
From online bmi charts your ideal weight should be between 114 and 127,
I'm all for toning, losing weight and getting healthy but 110 may be getting too low and you seem a bit too down on being a healthy weight already.
115 sounds better to me.

I am no expert, I just had concerns. I don't want to be the negative poster
If I'm wrong I apologize.
 
Hi sunflower, thanks for the encouragement! I try to avoid the wine, but I have a STRESSFUL job and I am extremely high strung/anxious. Sometimes it is just SO necessary in order to unwind when I get home lol.

Hey there Nostalgic, thank you for the advice. Yes, 110 is a bit low for my height, but if you read my last post, I actually changed my goal to 115- which is perfectly healthy. I just re-read your post and I think you may have realized I changed it to 115. REGARDLESS-Thank you for the advice. I know you only have my best interest at heart and I appreciate it :).
 
My period came today- 2 days early. I became aware of this when something didn't feel right and to my horror, my tan pants were SOAKED in blood. Needless to say, I went home early from work. I am so happy to be comfortable in bed right now instead of at a desk.

That being said, I am struggling to not over eat. I had about 30 minutes of intense cravings to stuff my face, but I reminded myself that I'm currently at my highest weight that I've been at in the last 6 years and shoving food down my gobler isn't going to change this situation! I waited it out and I think I feel a little less inclined to binge now.

My stomach isn't feeling well, so I think I'm going to take a nap. I would really love to get in a small work out later on if I feel up to it.

Intake:
2 mile jog. 15 push ups.
Chobani greek yogurt- 140
Side salad with fat free ranch- 150
Special K Air popped chips- 110
Unsweetened green tea- 50
Smart one's scrambled egg tv dinner- 220
1 bread roll- 200
1 semi large chardonnay- 150
Unsweetened hot chamomile tea- 0
Strawberry juice popsicle- 40
Total calories- 1,060

EDIT!!
So, I went for a run on my treadmill. I did 2 miles. Yay! I just took 2 Benadryl (helps me sleep during my period) and am drinking a cup of hot unsweetened camomile tea. Hopefully I will be dozing off to sleep here shortly.
 
Good luck losing the weight and great job on resisting those cravings! The more often you resist, the easier it gets to resist again, I've found.

Regarding weighing yourself: I would suggest only weighing yourself once a week, always on the same day and in the morning, naked and after you've been to the toilet. That way you'll have reasonably accurate results. :)
 
The Heretic said:
Good luck losing the weight and great job on resisting those cravings! The more often you resist, the easier it gets to resist again, I've found.

Regarding weighing yourself: I would suggest only weighing yourself once a week, always on the same day and in the morning, naked and after you've been to the toilet. That way you'll have reasonably accurate results. :)
Click to expand...

I think you are absolutely correct. Once a week is the way to go. Especially for a spazz like me who is going to freak out if I gain a lb or 2 after drinking a few glasses of water- EVEN THOUGH IT'S CLEARLY water weight!!! lol I can be a real ding dong. Thank you! :)
 
115 does sound better :)
I also want to get to the lower end of my healthy weight (project starts after baby is born)

Well done resisting the cravings.
Last time I did this, to resist the cravings of food when I wasn't really hungry I put a motivational poster on my fridge so I saw it every time I went to open it. Every time at work when I wanted to visit the chocolate machine I looked at the photo beside my desk that had a "no" sign round a cake and a big green tick on a picture of fruit.
 
Time of the month sucks--I always run my birth control over so I don't have one for a few months but then when I do have one (and I'm due on any dayyyy!) it's HORRIBLE. Know what you mean about the wine--I used to have a bottle a night! Now I tend to just have a beer or two to unwind.
 
Stayed home from work for the first part of the day due to terrible cramps and heavy bleeding. Would love to spend the rest of the day in bed, but I just have too much to do at work, so I'm heading in now. I did manage too get in a 2 mile walk on the treadmill. I'll update with the rest of today's intake later tonight when I get home.


Edit- I updated my total intake.

2 mile walk, 15 push ups
Intake:
Greek strawberry yogurt- 140
Starbucks medium Iced coffee- 100
Organic all natural fruit and nut protein bar- 180
Smart one's tuna tv dinner- 220
Veggie straw chips- 130
Couple sips of OJ- 75
3 vodka & waters-260
Baked Boston butt and rice bowl- 500
Total- 1,606 calories
 
Sounds like you suffer terrible period pains.
Have you seen a doctor for that. Being on the contraceptive pill can calm the cramps or they can provide something to help ease the pain.
 
I just wanted to say that I know that cycle all too well. I had lost 60 lbs and was so close to my goal. Then I slacked, gained some weight, got depressed, ate more, gained more weight, got more depressed, ate more, etc etc. So yeah I know that cycle all too well. I gained almost all that weight back! I had a couple babies after and now here I am trying to lose it all again. I would definitely say to not give in to temptation but if you do mess up, get right back on track and don't use that as an excuse to binge more! That's what I used to do and won't do anymore.

If I could give another piece of advice, don't eat below 1200 calories. A woman should not be eating less than that. Take into account you are exercising, and your calories if you ate only 1100 and burned 300... you're only at 800 calories which is far far too low! So I would get something, maybe like MyFitnessPal (it's what I use) and keep track of not only your calories but exercise, so you don't fall below 1200. Good luck!!!
 
Good on you for restarting! I totally feel you on the wine! I'm addicted to hard peach cider. I know it would be best to just stop drinking it completely, not only cuz of the empty calories but because alcohol had a negative effect on metabolism and weight loss (from what I've read, anyways) but its so hard not to indulge in a couple glasses especially when my calories are on the low end for the day!
 
I have been a very bad journal-er, but a very good dieter. I am down to 122. I don't have much time to update because I have to get my butt to work. I will post in depth tonight and try to stick with writing in this thing from now on. Oh yeah.. and I'm quitting alcohol as of today. Wine and I no longer get along as I somehow along the way forgot my limits and have been consuming way more than any normal person should.
 
Good job for doing well with your diet! Alcohol is so terrible. I used to like red wine and now I don't really. I only really like my grandpa's wine but he can't make it anymore so whatever is left is it! But you get to a point in life (well most people) where things change and the drinking phase of life passes. I'm glad that's past for me, don't need those calories or the feeling like ass the next day! Not worth it!

However, once the baby is sleeping through the night consistently, I will have a couple drinks with a friend since it's been FOREVER since I've done that!
 
Well done on the weight loss.

I agree, over the least few years drinking has just not been my thing, a glass of wine is good but being drunk and hungover is just no fun anymore lol
I also will have a few drinks with some friends once I'm feeling up to it though, After 9 months of pregnancy.... I need a drink :p
 
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