I am sort of new here. I never posted but have been reading and loving the feeling of not being alone in this.
I was a really big kid, and through strict high school dieting I was average, and then got bigger again. I don't think I can be happy if I don't lose. Ever since I was a kid, my mom would be embarassed of me and tell me i should be like all the other kids, and my brother would make fun of me in front of everyone, and so I grew up thinking losing weight is the most important thing in the world, and feeling very worthless and ashamed even when I wasn't that big.
Right now I am in medical school, and all the studying makes me want to keep eating, but lately I have been going for walks instead! I want to be energetic so that I can treat my patients efficiently, and if I am in good health, I can give more energy into helping others.
Last night I got home really hunry, and the fact that I had to be awake 3hrs later was stressing me, so I pigged out....mostly veggies and fruit and yogurt but the cals still added up.
Today has been good. I feel too tired to study, but I am learning that eating when ur already full doesn't give you more energy! I think i will take a 20min nap.
I have been trying to lose weight all summer, actually all year, actually, the past 20yrs of my life! I always end up gaining because my relationship with food was negative so i would always binge. Now I am more balanced and getting all my nutrients and vaiety of foods so i beleive it will stay off forever this time.
I will try to post every day. I find it very releiving to write about myself. It makes it seem real, like i am a real person, and this is a real goal.
I was a really big kid, and through strict high school dieting I was average, and then got bigger again. I don't think I can be happy if I don't lose. Ever since I was a kid, my mom would be embarassed of me and tell me i should be like all the other kids, and my brother would make fun of me in front of everyone, and so I grew up thinking losing weight is the most important thing in the world, and feeling very worthless and ashamed even when I wasn't that big.
Right now I am in medical school, and all the studying makes me want to keep eating, but lately I have been going for walks instead! I want to be energetic so that I can treat my patients efficiently, and if I am in good health, I can give more energy into helping others.
Last night I got home really hunry, and the fact that I had to be awake 3hrs later was stressing me, so I pigged out....mostly veggies and fruit and yogurt but the cals still added up.
Today has been good. I feel too tired to study, but I am learning that eating when ur already full doesn't give you more energy! I think i will take a 20min nap.
I have been trying to lose weight all summer, actually all year, actually, the past 20yrs of my life! I always end up gaining because my relationship with food was negative so i would always binge. Now I am more balanced and getting all my nutrients and vaiety of foods so i beleive it will stay off forever this time.
I will try to post every day. I find it very releiving to write about myself. It makes it seem real, like i am a real person, and this is a real goal.