Hey, so this is just to set it into my head that I am doing this.
I'm 5'5 and 17.5 stone / 238.7lbs, thats 100lbs over what is considered a healthy weight. So hopefully by this time next year those extra 100lbs is gone forever.
~~~
Backstory
My whole family has weight issues, as in they're all very large people mostly on my dads side. So being big was the norm and being small was just uncommon. Around 8/9 was when I started to get big, and start to look like the rest of my family. They like BIG portions and if you don't eat it all, they say you don't love them, or your ill. So you eat, and you eat lots. I used to do competitive dance and horse-riding from the age of 3 but because of the portion sizes all the calories I lost during lessons/practice were replaced with extras, and my size started to grow. Because my size grew it became hard to compete so I just did it for fun, but the fun started to decline with the dance when I looked in the mirror and saw I was much larger than the other dancers (this was around 12 yrs) I didn't like that, not one bit, but I didn't think it was because of the amount I ate because all of my family ate the same size of portions. I eventually left dance. I kept up with the horse-riding for a bit and even got a part time job as a stable hand (I wasn't paid with money I was paid with free lessons) and the horses obviously also increased in size to keep up with the weight. Again I noticed my size compared to the other stable hands, again I didn't like this. I eventually stopped horse-riding as well at the age of 15.
During school days I would miss breakfast because I would have to catch a bus to get to school, and I get travel sick if I have eaten prior to traveling. so breakfast was missed, during break I would have a can of coke and crisps. Lunch time was down to the chippy one bag and share with friends and again a can of coke, a bar of chocolate as well. I would get home, have a sandwich and a glass of orange juice and then my dinner. weekends was usually when I did dance / work but when I stopped them it became binge days, saturdays I would go out with friends and walk for hours on end just talking and eat nothing all day but drink fizzy drinks throughout the day. I usually didn't get back until 10/11pm so my folks were asleep and I would just go to bed, and on the sunday I would just eat for the entire day. Again I started to notice size differences as my friends would lose weight from all the walking we did, and I just didn't I eventually stopped going out as well. that was a few weeks after leaving school.
the summer holidays was another binge fest and thats all I did, occasionally going out somewhere with family but generally I stayed in and ate. I started college, and back to the same old school routine, but then I would get in earlier and have a brownie and cappuccino once I got to college. Lunch was cheese on toast and a bottle of coke.
And now here I am. My lack of socialization has somewhat crippled my ability to express my feelings properly though I pick up on other peoples quickly. I used to be very confident and now I'm so self conscious, the few friends I keep in touch with we meet up now and again, but mostly for concerts and only because its dark and people will be occupied with the performers.
~~~~~~
So I weighed and measured myself today properly, for ages I have just pressumed that I am 18 stone, so to find out im half a stone lighter was actually very motivating and comforting because you know if you think you're heavier its nice to know your not.
So measurements & weight : 17.5 stone / 238.7 lbs
Neck - 15”
Arm - 19”
Bust - 45”
Waist - 43”
Hips - 52”
Thigh - 29”
Calf - 17”
Ok so the measurements for me was a big eye opener. I knew I was that big, but having it in figures I didn't think I was that big.
So here we go, this is the start. I want to get back into dance and being as stable hand. I want to get back to doing my saturdays I know they're not the healthiest but I liked them and I do miss them greatly =[ I can still walk for a long time, so I have the stamina to do the exercise, its just motivating myself and keep on doing it. My house is to small for a treadmill and I lack the funds to buy one so I'm going to join some yoga lessons, going to look for some other lessons that I would be comfortable joining. Once I lost enough or feel better about myself I am going to join a gym, and horse-riding. Ultimately I would like to do competitive dance again though I would have to work extremely hard to get as flexible again. But yes this is what I want to do. I am applying for a job in Florida and I hope to get that as well. But I wouldn't be going out until about this time next year possibly a bit later xD So yes. This is what I am aiming to do. So here I go =D
I'm 5'5 and 17.5 stone / 238.7lbs, thats 100lbs over what is considered a healthy weight. So hopefully by this time next year those extra 100lbs is gone forever.
~~~
Backstory
My whole family has weight issues, as in they're all very large people mostly on my dads side. So being big was the norm and being small was just uncommon. Around 8/9 was when I started to get big, and start to look like the rest of my family. They like BIG portions and if you don't eat it all, they say you don't love them, or your ill. So you eat, and you eat lots. I used to do competitive dance and horse-riding from the age of 3 but because of the portion sizes all the calories I lost during lessons/practice were replaced with extras, and my size started to grow. Because my size grew it became hard to compete so I just did it for fun, but the fun started to decline with the dance when I looked in the mirror and saw I was much larger than the other dancers (this was around 12 yrs) I didn't like that, not one bit, but I didn't think it was because of the amount I ate because all of my family ate the same size of portions. I eventually left dance. I kept up with the horse-riding for a bit and even got a part time job as a stable hand (I wasn't paid with money I was paid with free lessons) and the horses obviously also increased in size to keep up with the weight. Again I noticed my size compared to the other stable hands, again I didn't like this. I eventually stopped horse-riding as well at the age of 15.
During school days I would miss breakfast because I would have to catch a bus to get to school, and I get travel sick if I have eaten prior to traveling. so breakfast was missed, during break I would have a can of coke and crisps. Lunch time was down to the chippy one bag and share with friends and again a can of coke, a bar of chocolate as well. I would get home, have a sandwich and a glass of orange juice and then my dinner. weekends was usually when I did dance / work but when I stopped them it became binge days, saturdays I would go out with friends and walk for hours on end just talking and eat nothing all day but drink fizzy drinks throughout the day. I usually didn't get back until 10/11pm so my folks were asleep and I would just go to bed, and on the sunday I would just eat for the entire day. Again I started to notice size differences as my friends would lose weight from all the walking we did, and I just didn't I eventually stopped going out as well. that was a few weeks after leaving school.
the summer holidays was another binge fest and thats all I did, occasionally going out somewhere with family but generally I stayed in and ate. I started college, and back to the same old school routine, but then I would get in earlier and have a brownie and cappuccino once I got to college. Lunch was cheese on toast and a bottle of coke.
And now here I am. My lack of socialization has somewhat crippled my ability to express my feelings properly though I pick up on other peoples quickly. I used to be very confident and now I'm so self conscious, the few friends I keep in touch with we meet up now and again, but mostly for concerts and only because its dark and people will be occupied with the performers.
~~~~~~
So I weighed and measured myself today properly, for ages I have just pressumed that I am 18 stone, so to find out im half a stone lighter was actually very motivating and comforting because you know if you think you're heavier its nice to know your not.
So measurements & weight : 17.5 stone / 238.7 lbs
Neck - 15”
Arm - 19”
Bust - 45”
Waist - 43”
Hips - 52”
Thigh - 29”
Calf - 17”
Ok so the measurements for me was a big eye opener. I knew I was that big, but having it in figures I didn't think I was that big.
So here we go, this is the start. I want to get back into dance and being as stable hand. I want to get back to doing my saturdays I know they're not the healthiest but I liked them and I do miss them greatly =[ I can still walk for a long time, so I have the stamina to do the exercise, its just motivating myself and keep on doing it. My house is to small for a treadmill and I lack the funds to buy one so I'm going to join some yoga lessons, going to look for some other lessons that I would be comfortable joining. Once I lost enough or feel better about myself I am going to join a gym, and horse-riding. Ultimately I would like to do competitive dance again though I would have to work extremely hard to get as flexible again. But yes this is what I want to do. I am applying for a job in Florida and I hope to get that as well. But I wouldn't be going out until about this time next year possibly a bit later xD So yes. This is what I am aiming to do. So here I go =D