Jericho
New member
Wow, where to begin.
First, hello to the old members that are still here. You guys will remember me. Those who are new, I go by Jericho here. I am a former (though think still) moderator who left the boards about a year ago. I started in 2009 and I had success for a while. Then life hit harder than I was able to handle. I was unemployed for over a year. My fiancee, Amy, and I took a leap and went to Florida to try to make our dreams happen, part of that dream became returning to college to work towards becoming a teacher. Fast forward to today. I've finished my first year with a 4.0 and on track to getting my AA by summer. After that, I am transfering to Rollins to get my major in History. That part is going well.
Then there is the rest.
My weight had creeped up back to close to 400, removing all the good work I did before. So, as a motivation tool, I have a two fold reason to get to as close to (or below) 300 as possible by August 7th. The first is Amy and I are making another trip to California for a bit of vacation to go to the D23 (official Disney) expo. We even have the special package with all these bells and whistles. While there, I want to go to Magic Mountain. I want to ride roller coasters again, which means I need to drop the weight. The second is my mother has offered 10,000$ if I can do it, which will be great for the trip. I am now at 368 as of this morning. I was on track, doing really well. This month my life sort of crumbled.
I had been getting more and more depressed and stressed even though my life couldn't be better. Owned our house and cars (thanks to gifts from my folks), doing great in school including being mentored by a very great professor towards becoming a teacher, and I had Amy. Yet, it was getting worse in my head. Well, I made a mistake that could have cost me everything. I am going to skip over the details of it right now, I don't know if I can really bring myself to say it at the moment. Needless to say, I thought I would lose everything. It was suicide level bad. It was see a therapist bad. I did, and after hearing everything, she said I had all the signs of someone who was raped. The weight, memory loss of childhood, self-destructive choices, etc. After some repression therapy, it turns out my memory had blocked something. I was raped and choked out when I was around 7. It was the same boys who molested my sister. It destroyed my childhood. It crushed all that could have been. It was soon after that I started to gain so much weight and began to act "different". You know..you never think about boys being raped..
I am now fighting those memories returning, learning to accept that I can be loved, and that I can work on healing that. I had been on track to be at around 658 by now but that hit a dead stop. I need to get it back on track. The site use to help me stay focused so I am back.
Hi again.
Starting weight: 368
Goal for Aug 7: 300
Goal for Jan 7: 365
First, hello to the old members that are still here. You guys will remember me. Those who are new, I go by Jericho here. I am a former (though think still) moderator who left the boards about a year ago. I started in 2009 and I had success for a while. Then life hit harder than I was able to handle. I was unemployed for over a year. My fiancee, Amy, and I took a leap and went to Florida to try to make our dreams happen, part of that dream became returning to college to work towards becoming a teacher. Fast forward to today. I've finished my first year with a 4.0 and on track to getting my AA by summer. After that, I am transfering to Rollins to get my major in History. That part is going well.
Then there is the rest.
My weight had creeped up back to close to 400, removing all the good work I did before. So, as a motivation tool, I have a two fold reason to get to as close to (or below) 300 as possible by August 7th. The first is Amy and I are making another trip to California for a bit of vacation to go to the D23 (official Disney) expo. We even have the special package with all these bells and whistles. While there, I want to go to Magic Mountain. I want to ride roller coasters again, which means I need to drop the weight. The second is my mother has offered 10,000$ if I can do it, which will be great for the trip. I am now at 368 as of this morning. I was on track, doing really well. This month my life sort of crumbled.
I had been getting more and more depressed and stressed even though my life couldn't be better. Owned our house and cars (thanks to gifts from my folks), doing great in school including being mentored by a very great professor towards becoming a teacher, and I had Amy. Yet, it was getting worse in my head. Well, I made a mistake that could have cost me everything. I am going to skip over the details of it right now, I don't know if I can really bring myself to say it at the moment. Needless to say, I thought I would lose everything. It was suicide level bad. It was see a therapist bad. I did, and after hearing everything, she said I had all the signs of someone who was raped. The weight, memory loss of childhood, self-destructive choices, etc. After some repression therapy, it turns out my memory had blocked something. I was raped and choked out when I was around 7. It was the same boys who molested my sister. It destroyed my childhood. It crushed all that could have been. It was soon after that I started to gain so much weight and began to act "different". You know..you never think about boys being raped..
I am now fighting those memories returning, learning to accept that I can be loved, and that I can work on healing that. I had been on track to be at around 658 by now but that hit a dead stop. I need to get it back on track. The site use to help me stay focused so I am back.
Hi again.
Starting weight: 368
Goal for Aug 7: 300
Goal for Jan 7: 365
