Ready to talk

calm

New member
I have never had much discussion with others about my weight. I have had a lot go on in my head about it, though. Turning 40 in two weeks so I'm taking a higher level of inventory than the usual overthinking that I do.

Loneliness and isolation have been a big part of my weight experience. I am glad to be here . . in an environment of like-minded people. I know that stress has been the biggest trigger for my weight issues. After many years of different kinds of trauma and a lot of hard work to get here, I am finally beginning to feel safe enough in my life to feel the feelings I've been numbing. It is both wonderful and terrifying at the same time.

Thanks for being here.
 
Glad you came here, calm. :) Facing your issues is the first step in doing something about them.

I remember once when I used to go to Gold's Gym, seeing a guy on an exercise bike cycling regularly on it most of the time I visited. He weighted in excess of 300 lbs. and had lost over 50 already. But you know, he was in there working hard to get that weight off, and I greatly respected him for it. No one looked down on him because he didn't look like a GQ model, because we all had progress to make.

Remember the three Ds - Discipline, Determination, and Dedication. We all start somewhere. And like the Chinese proverb states, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
 
You're not alone!!! Stress has been my biggest nemesis for the last 10 years. Everytime I would make great progress with some issue in my life something big would happen. Major life stressors from every angle (work, family, relationships, finances). Patterns of severe anxiety and depression have robbed me of many things. I have turned that corner with help from a few close friends and a spiritual revitalization (nothing over the top, but more of a personal spiritual awakening). Although I haven't been alone in the technical sence, I have certainly experienced loneliness on an emotional level. I hid from the world through various mechanisms. I am actively changing that.

I am now 42 and feel prepared to face my issues in a healthy manner. I have stopped all anxiety medications. I have quit smoking. I have quit drinking. Now I am trying to tackle my 306# weight and starting to exercise. I find music and art to be great motivators and stress relievers.

I have tackled one issue at a time and given myself months to get one behind me before starting to focus on something else. It has taken me about a year to work through stopping the meds, then drinking, then smoking, and now starting the journey of weight. I couldn't fathom doing them all, so I just picked them off slowly and here I am at the base of this mountain. I'll climb it and use the momentum of the other accomplishments to push me along. This has been my plan all along and I had the patience to get to this point over the last year. If I can do it, so can you.

If you need someone to talk to, I'll be glad to talk anytime.
 
Back
Top