Question: Does your weight change who you are?

C

catiew21

New member
I heard a quote the other day from a woman who went back to her highschool reunion after losing 80 pounds. Everyone was so interested in her (which wasn't the case in high school) and she said to them "I am still the same person today as I was then"...

I thought this was interesting to think about.

Me? I am not the same person as I was before I gained all this weight. I actually could almost cry thinking about it actually. When I gained weight, I became depressed (those two may be interchangable), demanded less for myself than I should have, messed up in school for a little bit, was very insecure, lost friends over my own insecurities, and basically just let myself go.

But morally am I the same person? Yes - except not for the way I treated myself and let others treat me. Now that I am losing weight and gaining confidence, I am realzing that I lost a lot more than my figure when I gained the weight. It makes me so angry at myself to think about.

I am sure everyone will have different answers, and there are no right answers or wrong answers I don't think here... I just thought this was an interesting topic. Perhaps some of you can relate.
 
The girl from high school sounds like she was overweight then and I think a lot of it depends on what stage in your life were you overweight in. I've been overweight for what feels like most of my life, so it's something I've had to deal with since I was very young and is an integral part of who I am today. I have a large frame, so even when I was thinner I was still bigger than most girls which I think has a lot to do with my body image. My insecurities and morals have all remained pretty much the same, but I know I am different than what I was in high school, mostly due to changes brought on by going away to college.

I became very comfortable with myself my freshman year of college even though I was the same size. I made friends very easily which made me realize that my weight isn't everything and these friends aren't just friends because we've been friends forever. For the longest time I was actually more comfortable with them than the ones from home, though I have come to appreciate them both equally. I honestly don't mind my body now. My goal for weight loss is mostly so I won't have health issues as I get older and because I'm not going to lose out to some pixie chick since the job market is prejudice, especially for female engineers.

Confidence is inarguably a state of mind. With such a strong woman as a mother and such a large family, I would have been lost had I not learned to assert myself. My meekness ended by the time I was eight when I was actually wafer thin. I don't think any of this has changed now even with my weight loss.

Being happy with who you are I think strongly affects your weight, so I do my best to be someone I'm proud of (which is incredibly difficult when you feel stupid all time, but I'm working on it). On my weight loss table you can actually see what state of mind I was in during certain parts of the past year. Try not to think of the person you were but the person you will become, especially if it brings you down. You are doing something about your unhappiness and moving forward which is all you can really ask of yourself.
 
This question you've posed upon us has been something I've been thinking a lot about recently. I am incredibly happy and pleased with myself on the inside. I love who I am and what I am about. I have a job that I love and the most amazing man in my life who loves me just the way I am (J LO booty and all.)
But, I can not say the same for myself on the outside. I have gained a lot of weight recently and while I hate how I look and know how to take the steps necessary to begin losing weight, I'm not doing it. I find myself in a downward spiral mentally and emotionally. Like everyone else who has posted in this thread or will post, I find the biggest change in my mental/emotional state since gaining weight is my lack of confidence and increasing insecurities. When I was smaller I was a very confident, secure person. I notice now that I am a very cranky person to be around and those who are around me often don't understand why. :boxing: I will pick fights, snap and be miserable for no apparent reason but in reality it is because I have become so upset with myself and how I look that I'm taking it out on everyone else. I think this is what is pushing me to FINALLY do something about my weight and not feel sorry for myself. I want to be that happy, confident, secure person again. I want to stop being a miserable person to be around. Feeling poorly about your physical appearance is bad enough but when you begin to alienate you friends and loved ones it can make the journey back to a healthier you seem almost impossible.
So, to finally answer your question. No I do not think weight changes who you are but I do think it can alter aspects of your mental state as I've described above.
 
"So, to finally answer your question. No I do not think weight changes who you are but I do think it can alter aspects of your mental state as I've described above."

I totally agree
 
Yes, your weight changes you

As someone who has always been a little to a lot overweight, I can say it does change you. In many ways. The external changes are the most obvious - at 300lbs, you just don't move the same as you did when you were half the weight. (And unless we have 12 foot tall people out there, no one needs to be 300lbs). Your knees hurt. Your heart races when you reach for the phone. Your back gives out on slightest provocation.
But the deepest changes are to your psyche. I find myself clinging on to a relationship which isn't going anywhere. And that's not me. I have a reputation as a hard-ass at work. I'm the go-to girl, the ones who gets things done, who gets promotions, who can fix anything, sort any problem, stand up to any bully/boss. So to find myself in a situation where I've basically given up control to a partner I know isn't good enough for me - well, that's part of what 300lbs will do to you.
I write this knowing that, of course, if there's blame to be shared most of it is on me. It was my choice to get into this, and my choice to stay despite what I know. My plan is to break it off this weekend, when I see him. Why do I think I have the strength all of a sudden. I don't. But it's part of the general spring cleaning going on in my life - get to work on the weight loss, re-organize my house, apply for a new (less stressful!) job, apply for a new, less harmful relationship - and ditch the old one in the process.
See, I'm changing already, and I haven't lost much yet! Your weight changes you because it changes how you feel about yourself. And no matter how strong you are, if you don't feel good about yourself you just won't treat yourself right. And that alone tends to lower your expectations about how others will/should treat you.
 
losing weight does change who a person is for the most part... maybe not dramatically, or even to the point that tehy are aware of it... but it does change them...

When a person is very overweight, they tend to hide a little more and not call attention to themselves - but when they're less overweight, the hiding is less... and tend to be less apt to hide.

PLus most people are reactive when it comes to other people - people who are overweight are treated one way - maybe not intentionally but it happens - and when you're not that anymore -people treat you differently and a person responds to that...

I'm not the same person I was when I was 185lbs fatter... though my basic personality is still the same... to the outside world - I have changed... and they can't quite figure out how... just that I've changed...
 
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