Question about meeting people after weight loss.

gpucci

gpucci

New member
Ok.. You people will act as my therapy for the next couple days.

I have a question, and some stuff to let out.

Back in 2003-2004 I had lost weight after seeing myself in X-Mas pictures from 2002. I was about 190 or so, but REALLY out of shape from sitting around doing nothing for about 5 months after being laid off from work.

Anyhow in early 2003 (Feb-May) I lost about 25lbs. After I lost that weight I was on top of the world. I was 165 and I look pretty much like I do now (avatar).

I have always been a bit of a social outcast. If get anxious and I start to stutter real bad, so I had always kept out of social activities if I was the center of attention. But I overcame some of it and started dating again. This (being 2003) was the first time since 1997 that I felt good about myself enough to date. I had a couple real good gals I dated from 2003-2004. Of course not at the same time.

Anyhow at the end of 2004 I started gaining it all back. I was single and thought I had no reason to look good. I was depressed all the time, and I didn't do anything except play World of Warcraft. That was the biggest mistake EVER. I got addicted to the game, lost my job in May 2005, and then toped out at 215 towards the end of 2006.

Well now it has been about 3 years+ since dating, and I am seriously scared out of my mind. I am 33 years old now, and have not had a GF in about 3 years. I haven't even really dated. The problem is that I isolated myself while playing Warcraft all the time that I lost most of my friends (not that I had a lot of them to begin with) Long story short, I have lost weight again, and am back to about 167-168 and look like I want to, but I don't have any "hook me up with your GF's Friend" friends anymore, and since I am so anxious all the time I cannot just walk up to someone. I tried internet dating, but meeting someone out of the blue is really hard for me to do.

Anyone have any ideas what I can do? I am really scared out of my mind to start dating again, although I REALLY want to do it. UGH!!! :ack2:

Oh by the way.. Never been married, and no kids either :(
 
You're very handsome .. I highly doubt you'll get turned down if you ask someone out on a date!
Is there anyone that you know from work who can introduce you to new people? Or maybe at the gym you go to? I know this is tacky but maybe a bar or a club .. it might help you get your feet wet. I have a lot of guy friends who have so many different tactics, I really don't know which ones work. I only know the ones that work on me, haha!
 
i have no advice really except to never ever talk to a girl about WoW unless she also plays. seriously. she may just murder you in your sleep. WoW=root of all evil and killer of relationships
 
I think you should go to a social place, like a singles dance or something like that, and slowly start talking to people. You are very cute and once you realize it your confidence will improve. You need to see that the girls are interested and that will give you the confidence you need.
 
I don't quite understand it myself, but tehre are plenty of females out there who play WOW - so is there a group you can join ad get to know people.

My favorite method for meeting people, is volunteering -check out sites like - it's a site that has volunteer opportunities i your area... they are either single event of long term opportunities and worse caae - youo might not meet someone, but you'lll do good and make yourself feel good -which makes you more appealing.

Take a class that appeals to you -cooking, wine appreciation, dancing, ceramics, art something, ad get out of the house...

Spend a few hours a week away from WOW and go out ad make eye contact with people -not creepy stalkerish eye contact, but friendly eye contact.

What's in the past is in the past - that was then you cant change it - you are where you are right now - fresh start now go forth, brush your teeth (because stinky breath is gross), smile, and have fun...
 
haha I don't play WoW anymore. I just quit because it caused me to lose my job, than after I had lost it I didn't look for a job for about 8 months because I was constantly playing that dumb game.

But yah, no WoW women. Can't start that again.

Should I go to a single dance alone? I have like 2 friends (two real friends) and that's it. I sometimes think that I am too old to start especialy with how scared sh1tless I am. Hrm, Thanks for the handsome comments everyone :)

Anyway, yah... I always wondered why I am always single. Sometimes I feel that I will never find anyone, adn will never get married. Usually around the holidays I get all blubbery like this. Sorry everyone. It's just been real hard for me to find someone to take on a date.

But back to the singles dance thing. I had watched a show on TV about a group of singles. They were always in their groups. I can't even imagine walking up to a group of women just to talk to one. I always think the worst and think they woud laugh at me. I can;t begin to imaging taking that much abuse :(
 
Singles dances or forced socialization can be brutal if you're the shy type (I know I am)

That's why I strongly suggest doing something that you're interested in..

Get involved with a political campaign,
Volunteer at the local animal shelter walking the cute puppies (girls like puppies)
Take a class in something that interests you...
 
Ha, ha! My bf looooooves WoW and most of my friends play.......everyone but, my bf is addicted.

Maybe try join a club...running club, kayaking club, hiking club....some kinda of sport maybe? That could help you stay in shape and it would be fun, also it might help you meet a girl or even some cool new guys friends who could introduce you to a female friend of theirs. Any cute girls at your gym? Maybe a bookstore you frequent?

I think you are an attractive guy.......if I didn't have a bf and you approached me, I'd say yes to a date. Confidence (not cockiness) is attractive........so maybe work on your confidence a little. Why do you think you are not confident? Are you not happy with who you are?
 
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