Post-weight loss embarrassment

K

kindofarunner

New member
Hey everyone,

I'm a male college student who has transformed my body through weight loss during the past year, and I'm feeling healthy and great about my fitness.

But I still carry around an enormous embarrassment about my past.

It's very difficult to explain, but it's almost like I carry this dark secret about myself. When I meet someone new-- and they have no idea that I was once heavy-- I never want them to find out what I used to look like. I look at my past self in pictures and feel absolutely disgusted, and I never want anyone to know what I used to be.

Also, I get embarrassed when people who haven't seen me in awhile compliment me on my weight loss. Again, it's hard to verbalize what I'm feeling, but I guess I would say I don't like the attention. I feel so insecure and vain that I had to lose all this weight because I felt bad about myself back then. Because that's what really drove me to lose weight-- poor body image and a lack of self-acceptance. I guess that's what embarrasses me... the fact that I was once so insecure about myself. And the worst part is, I'm still insecure. I still compare myself to other people and feel inferior when my "body" doesn't quite stack up to some of my peers.

For those of you that have lost a considerable amount of weight, do you go through this kind of thing? Do you try to hide your past, and do you hate the attention? Do you feel shame for being an insecure person?
 
I don't mind somebody casually saying that I look better but one of my sisters always tries to insist that I stand up in front of people and do a twirl to show off my weight loss. I find it so embarrasing and refuse to do it as I feel like a performing monkey. As long as it's just a casual comment then I quite like it but I hate it being made into a big deal.
 
I agree to a point.

Weight has always ALWAYS been an issue with me. Even though I know I look tons better, I still have a little talking about it, even if its just discuss what I have changed in my life to get to that point.

And actually, when I look at my college pictures on my facebook, its a little depressing to think how much I didn't care back then. Then again, I have no control over that anymore, just from here on out.
 
I'm the complete opposite. I actually have a t-shirt with one of my old pictures printed on it. I worked pretty darn hard to lose the weight, and am still working. I deserve to have people tell me that I did a good job every now and again.

Why feel bad about it? You did something great, you worked on your weight, your health, and turned your life around. You managed to do something that millions of people struggle with every day, and you should be proud of yourself for being able to pull it off!!
 
I feel ya dog!

I have lost 90lbs over the past year and when people give me compliments while it is nice to hear it can also be embarrassing as well. You feel embarrassed because you are constantly hearing "you look so good". After hearing that so much it starts to occur to you that if you look so good all the sudden did you look really bad before you lost it? And while people don't mean it that way it still is a thought you have. I have had it. As far as your past body goes that is something you are just going to have to be comfortable with on your own time. Being overweight and then losing a lot of weight is a private matter to people who didn't know you before the loss. You have no obligation or responsibility to disclose that information to anyone. If you were to get into a serious relationship with someone and you felt you really needed to tell them about the old you then I think you should do it. And don't worry about how they will react - if someone you have formed a new relationship with starts treating you differently in a negative way after they find out you lost a lot of weight you don't want to be with them anyway as a friend or a lover. Because sooner or later that evil side of them would manifest in some manner. Don't be ashamed of your weight loss embrace it. You did something that millions cannot do or are having a very hard time doing. For most people it is the hardest thing they did in their entire lives. Don't be embarrassed of the old pictures of you - look at them with a sense of accomplishment and use them as motivation to never let it happen again. Hope this helps you! BE HAPPY - you deserve it.
 
Last edited:
I'm like San.

If someone comments on my weight loss it makes me feel awesome. My usual response to the "you look great now" is "I know right? I was freaking fat before!"

And if I get any off comments or snide remarks about me looking good for my weight, mostly from people who haven't know me long (I switched jobs recently) but know I am on a diet, is to tell them I have lost almost 50 pounds since January.

It's pretty funny since most of them think I am starting my diet at the weight I am now.

I love it.
 
I'm mostly with Kayshiz and San... I love bragging about how much weight I lost, and especially when I run into old freinds or family who haven't seen me since before I lost weight, I love the first look I see on their faces. When I lost weight before, I lost like 50lbs at college since leaving home. When I came home for the first time, I stopped at walmart and my mom happened to be in there (I grew up in a small town). She actually had to do a double take because she didn't recognize it was me at first. That was probably the best I'd ever felt about my weight loss, I must have been doing something right if my own mother didn't recognize me.

All the same, I get bored after a while explaining how much weight I've lost, and answering the "do you feel better?" questions. And the "how'd you do it?" questions, like people expect you know some magic secret to weight loss success that they want you to share. My dad, who is also overweight, once asked "and you didn't take any pills or anything?" in that accusatory, suspicious way like he think you're lying. I said nope and just smiled cuz its my dad and all, but what I really wanted to say was "HELL NO I didn't take no damn pills I worked hard and stayed committed and lost the f-ing weight all on my own!". And since I'm not at my goal yet, I usually just shrug the complements off with a polite "thanks" and then forget about it, because I know I still have a long way to go and I don't want to get complacent.

But for the most part, I love the attention that losing weight brings me. I'm a little jealous I'm going to soon be sharing the attention with my brother who is also losing weight currently, and he's a bit further along than me.
 
I get the 'are you taking pills' thing all the time and find it really annoying.
I've just been thinking about what it is I don't like. I like it when people notice that I have lost weight and casually comment on it but I hate it when they make me the centre of attention or start saying how beautiful I am as I feel slimmer but not beautiful. I don't know why I don't like the attention to be on me. I never change my hairstyle (and my husband is a hairdresser) because I don't like all the fuss about it afterwards and I feel really embarrassed when people see me in new clothes for the first time. I really don't know why I'm this way but suppose it started when I put on weight as I wasn't like it when I was younger.
 
Back many years in high school I lost about 50 pounds in the span of a few months (I've sense gained it back in the past 7 or 8 years so here we go again). So the quick drastic change did cause many people to comment. Some congratulated me or made some sort of quiet respectful comment. Others on the hand asked me if I had been sick. Then there was even some other people that made fun of me for being on the scrawny side. I was definitely not used to being made fun of for being skinny!

My advice is don't worry what other people have to say or think and put your past behind you. It's all about how you feel now. You should congratulate yourself for losing weight and taking control. We all know that that is no easy feat. You may feel disgusted about yourself if you look at old pictures, but keep in mind that those days are over. You have succeeded at something that millions of people struggle with everyday.
 
After losing weight that is one of the hardest things for people to deal with. Everyone has a comment, then all of a sudden they think you think you are better than them. Stay encouraged and continue on.. people will fall in line!!
 
I'm looking forward to losing a noticeable amount of weight, but I can see how it might be embarrassing or awkward to be the center of attention or tell people who never knew you before the weight loss.

I lost about 20 lbs in between doctors visits a year and half ago and the nurse asked me if had been sick. I was like, um no... I just tracked calories and worked out? I was the first time I had lost a significant amount of weight, so I guess I understand their skepticism. Unfortunately I gained the weight back during my last year at school, so I'm back on the wagon again.
 
I'm the complete opposite! I love it when people comment about my weight after years of being so self conscious about it.
I even carry round a photo of when I was at my heaviest in my purse. When I show people it takes me ages to convince them it's me, they're genuinely shocked haha I love it!
Be proud of how far you've come, its probably because you're not used to the attention but there's no reason to be embarrassed for changing your life for the better :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top