Post Natal Depression + weight loss

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This is my first ever post on a forum so here it goes. I have a nine month old bub and finding it really difficult to shift 10kgs left over from my pregnancy. I am not breastfeeding so I don't have that to help me along. I have had bad PND but am a lot better now. I actually think its my weight now that is causing any low mood. This is even more reason to loose the weight. I have exercised 5 times a week for the last 3 weeks but I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Is or has anyone been in a similar space to me?
 
well as far as being similar to you...I've had babies and I've gained weight. I've suffered from deppression before. I think I understand where your coming from. I understand you've been exercising, but do you track your calorie intake?
 
Hi, thanks for your reply. I am trying to be mindful of my calorie input. I find it so much harder than before I had a baby. I find myself snacking all day with no time to have a proper meal. I know it is better to sit down and have a meal and to focus only on the meal rather than something else. It's been harder to do that now. I guess as a starting point with my in take I could try and have breakfast/lunch/dinner as a meal rather than snacking. I think that the snacking is comfort eating as well. I have never had this problem before. Previously I would do a couple of extra sessions at the gym rather than even think of snacking. I need to do some work on my daily intake. It feels really overwhelming though.
 
Well, your 1st post says that you've been exercising but you don't feel like your getting anywhere....but now it looks like you know where your faults are. Exercise is not enough to help lose weight, you HAVE to really buckle down and keep track of your calories. Even if you don't feel up to writing them down yet...you have to at least try to become more concious of what your eating and how often. Try to increase your veggies and fruits and decrease the junk. SOunds like your aware of your bad eating habits....so put some thought into how you can change that.

BELIEVE ME, I know how very hard it is...and while your children are very young...it doesn't get easier! I have a 12 y/o and a 6 y/o and now I'm constantly running....someones always in cheerleading or girlscouts or spending the night at friends. You have to get to a point where you say "enough is enough" and really put yourself first. You have to make getting healthy a priority. NOt just for yourself, but it will effect your whole family. LIke I said...i know your overwhelmed and theres alot going on....but its not going to ever stop being like that, its part of what makes being a parent difficult at times. Make yourself a priority!!
 
Living it right now. Clinically obese and very, very, very bitter and depressed about how the pregnancy has left me. I haven't felt normal for almost 3 years. I've seen doctors and yeah, like you, exercise, exercise, exercise, eat well, eat well, eat well, and no doctor believes I may have a thyroid issue. I finally convinced one to refer me to an endocrinologist who essentially told me to accept being fat. (not joking).

I might as well burn the wardrobe, give up the gel nails and make up and forget doing my hair. Why bother? I look terrible and frumpy and I absolutely deplore my body. I worked VERY VERY hard to get to a size 12 - took me 3 years. I figured oh I"ll gain 35 lbs during pregnancy and have to lose like 10 or something. No, I gained 75 lbs..... and I cannot seem to lose ANY of it. The more I try, the bigger I get - go figure. It's affecting my entire life and unfortunately that means those around me too. I've tried just about every approach and I'm at my wits end. My poor husband doesn't know what to do anymore. I just want to wear huge clothes and cry all the time. Ok well not all the time - I'm getting better at hiding it; but inside I"m a miserable mess and until I can ever look normal again, I don't expect it will change. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere cuz of my weight. I change in the dark; shower in the dark; won't let my hubby see me naked and I don't go shopping or go out cuz I'm embarassed. And sex? Forget it - no interest.

I just try to survive each day at a time. I try to get through the day without crying. I've tried to get help from all kinds of sources (medical doctors, mental health experts, etc) and I just keep getting doors shut in my face so I guess I'm on my own. C'est la vie right?

Sorry to sound so negative, but you did ask LOL.

Hope your situation improves soon! :)

Pinecone
 
Pinecone said:
Living it right now. Clinically obese and very, very, very bitter and depressed about how the pregnancy has left me. I haven't felt normal for almost 3 years. I've seen doctors and yeah, like you, exercise, exercise, exercise, eat well, eat well, eat well, and no doctor believes I may have a thyroid issue. I finally convinced one to refer me to an endocrinologist who essentially told me to accept being fat. (not joking).

I might as well burn the wardrobe, give up the gel nails and make up and forget doing my hair. Why bother? I look terrible and frumpy and I absolutely deplore my body. I worked VERY VERY hard to get to a size 12 - took me 3 years. I figured oh I"ll gain 35 lbs during pregnancy and have to lose like 10 or something. No, I gained 75 lbs..... and I cannot seem to lose ANY of it. The more I try, the bigger I get - go figure. It's affecting my entire life and unfortunately that means those around me too. I've tried just about every approach and I'm at my wits end. My poor husband doesn't know what to do anymore. I just want to wear huge clothes and cry all the time. Ok well not all the time - I'm getting better at hiding it; but inside I"m a miserable mess and until I can ever look normal again, I don't expect it will change. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere cuz of my weight. I change in the dark; shower in the dark; won't let my hubby see me naked and I don't go shopping or go out cuz I'm embarassed. And sex? Forget it - no interest.

I just try to survive each day at a time. I try to get through the day without crying. I've tried to get help from all kinds of sources (medical doctors, mental health experts, etc) and I just keep getting doors shut in my face so I guess I'm on my own. C'est la vie right?

Sorry to sound so negative, but you did ask LOL.

Hope your situation improves soon! :)

Pinecone
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Wow, your post really got to me, I've been where you are. I really have. And I feel very very bad for you.
I was a size 12 before I had my first boy, afterwards, a size 16. Then 2 years later I popped out my second, after that I was a size 20. I hated life I hated everything, and no way would I let my husband see me naked and the thought of sex absolutely repulsed me. I had no idea how on earth my husband still found me attractive, it really was a mystery to me.
It made me moody all day long and I comfort ate non stop. Then after a month post natally (during which time also my breasts did not produce any milk which made me even more disgusted with myself), I had a life turning incident at a Levi's shop....I went in, tried to find a pair of jeans, and there were none in my size ( I live in Hong Kong, everyone here is TINY and it is very hard to buy clothes if you are fat). Then when I asked for a bigger size, the staff there laughed at me and told me perhaps I should order my clothes on the internet at special places for fat people.
I ran out of the store crying, whilst telling them to f**k off. It was horrific.
The next day I started my new life, and 3 years down the line I am a size 8.
Sometimes it takes a horrific, negative incident like that to get you going. However, for some people, that doesnt' work.
I was so humiliated, it made me sort myself out.
I had a goal, I was going to achieve no matter what.
It involved eating very controlled amounts of healthy food plus exercising 7 days a week. I am still doing that today and will have to continue this until the day I die. I am not naturally slim.
So don't worry, you will sort yourself out. You will. One day you will wake up and realise that you cannot continue further like this and the change will start.
X
 
No one believes me. I keep getting "eat less calories".... for the last #)(*#&)(#^ time, I don't over eat!!!!!! Hell, I just had an endocrinologist tell me I'm not eating enough along with "but you know, if you're not losing weight you might just have to accept being overweight". WTF????????????????????????? Even my nurse practitioner suggested I might not be eating enough.

I'm miserable, I make those around me miserable and to top it off, I've been so stressed about it that now I'm continuously sick so I can't work out. Here's to hoping Monday I'm well enough to try the gym. Of coruse, that depresses me too. I can't even get a large beach towel around my fat a**. Yay.... go team.

Yours miserably,

Pinecone
 
P.S. I love my husband to pieces but it's so horribly embarassing to be out with him becasue he's a mere 170 lbs, with a 32" waist at almost 6 foot tall and I"m a complete cow. And then he wonders why I don't want to wear anything but huge baggy clothes, change in the dark, shower in the dark and not have sex. He's been SO SO SO supportive but he doesn't know what to do wtih me anymore. Can't say I blame him.
 
I know that you have looked after taking care of your physical health, but have you ever seen anyone about your depression Pinecone?
 
Yes. I was told that because I couldn't take time off of work to see her during work hours, that she didn't have time for me. She closed my file and said have a nice day. Besides, I've seen 3 people total including this latest yo yo and they all want me to *accept* being fat and be a happy fat person. Why would I want to do that? I've tried.... it affects EVERY aspect of my life negatively, even if I'm not thinking on it and trying not to go there so to speak. My depression is because of my weight. How do I know this? Been here before. My mental and emotional health improved when I lost weight. When you think about it, that actually makes a lot of sense.
 
Pinecone said:
Yes. I was told that because I couldn't take time off of work to see her during work hours, that she didn't have time for me. She closed my file and said have a nice day. Besides, I've seen 3 people total including this latest yo yo and they all want me to *accept* being fat and be a happy fat person. Why would I want to do that? I've tried.... it affects EVERY aspect of my life negatively, even if I'm not thinking on it and trying not to go there so to speak. My depression is because of my weight. How do I know this? Been here before. My mental and emotional health improved when I lost weight. When you think about it, that actually makes a lot of sense.
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OK, so are you my long lost twin??? I am SO in the same position right this very moment. All of your posts made me feel like I had written them myself! I REFUSE to look at myself in a mirror, detest having to get dressed and go anywhere b/c no clothing I own looks good or fits me properly anymore, and I have absolutely no interest in being intimate with my husband b/c I can't get past the fact that I'm a big, fat blob. I have struggled with depression/anxiety on and off for years and it's back in full force right now. I partially think it came back due to the past year being so full of crazy life changes, but my physical state is the main reason for my depression. I really, truly HATE my body. I tell myself that I am gross and disgusting all the time. I don't overeat. I'm tired ALL THE TIME but can't sleep at night when it's time to sleep (hence the 2AM forum posting I'm doing now). I exercise. Nothing seems to help. And I am surrounded by skinny people everywhere I turn! My husband's ENTIRE family is made up on long, lean people. So whenever we visit them, I feel SO out of place. Even the people who have married into his family all have tiny, perfect frames. It makes me soooooo insecure. And to make it worse, my brother-in-law's fiancee is so mean to me about my appearance, my home decor, my clothes, everything. (She weighs about 20 pounds so I could probably snap her in two if I wanted, but I do not condone violence haha!) But any time I am forced to be around her, I end up hating myself even more. She made me cry at my own wedding....

Anyway, my doctor finally gave me a prescription for anti-depressants today, so we'll see if that helps. She also took some blood to check my thyroid, but I'm sure that'll come back inconclusive just like it did years ago. I've had people tell me to go to a counselor, but the last time I tried, all she did was stare at her watch the whole time and barely listened to me. I'm just telling you all of this to say that there is someone else out there going through the exact same feelings at the very moment you are. And I'm lost. I'm so lost as to how to fix this because I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT NO MATTER WHAT I TRY!!!
 
Let me guess - they gave you zoloft or paxil?

zoloft = turns you into a literal, emotionless zombie that drools and oh yeah, you'll poop every time you pass gas. Don't bother with it, it doesn't work.

Paxil = never been on it, but have heard from friends/family it doesn't work either and just makes you anxious and gives you insomnia.

RE: the skinny b**ch -- snap her in two, you'll feel better :p. Seriously, tell her to mind her own business and if she doesn't have anything nice to say, she needs to keep her anorexic cake hole shut. I finally got tired of putting up with this type of BS and started dishing it back - that REALLY helped.

So today I lost a button on my pants and broke a nail trying to pull up my pants - yay.... go team. Not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. Joined a gym - went for 1.5 weeks everyday, felt good, then POOF - got a really nasty cold and been down with it for almost 3 weeks now. So everytime I try to start something positive for myself, I get slapped in the face with yet another obstacle. Really getting sick of this s***.

I'm not trying to be a size 2 here..... I just want to be a size 8-10.... that's NOT asking too much. I'm gonna stop now..... no sense rambling about the same ol'.

Hang in there and forget the anti-depressants. It's a bandaid. Not gonna cure the CAUSE of the depression, only treat the so-called symptoms. Oh, and antidepressants tend to make people gain weight which is what is causing ur issue in the first place.

Don't ya love modern medecine??
 
I'm incredibly sorry to hear your stories pinecone and aubiegrl80,they really struck a chord with me.It's so,so hard to gather any confidence together when you're not getting the support you need from doctors and therapists,it should be their job to listen to you,advise you on how to get well again-not make you come away feeling worse than when you went in,I find that really disgusting.
Infact this whole thread saddened me a great deal,this time after having children is meant to be a wonderful time of your life,watching them grow,when instead you feel ashamed of your bodies.Don't give up on wanting to change and make a difference!Your children and families must be an inspiration to get fit and well again,for your own happiness-not your image.
I'm afraid I don't know a lot about antidepressants,but I do know that the gym is a good place to start.Take things slow and steady to begin with,but take 40 mins or so and put it in your routine.It'll take a bit of confidence to get started,but afterwards you'll feel much better about yourself as you're taking steps to make a change.You are spending that time focusing purely on yourself,and that in itself is a very positive thing.Doing that,walking when and where you can,altering a few ingredients in your diet will make a difference.If you keep it up,you will lose weight.It'll be slow to begin with,but that's ok because you're more likely to keep it up if you ease yourself into it.
Try not to give yourself a hard time about it all. If you make small changes it will all add up in the end.
Keep posting, I wish you all the best :)
 
Pinecone said:
Don't ya love modern medecine??
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Hate it with a passion here....especially the medical perspective. I asked about the mental health becoz I think it could possibly be helpful, but I have never been treated and good thing too because I'm sure they'd brand me some form of nuts....although getting the happy pills might be worth it :D
 
Pinecone said:
Let me guess - they gave you zoloft or paxil?

zoloft = turns you into a literal, emotionless zombie that drools and oh yeah, you'll poop every time you pass gas. Don't bother with it, it doesn't work.

Paxil = never been on it, but have heard from friends/family it doesn't work either and just makes you anxious and gives you insomnia.

RE: the skinny b**ch -- snap her in two, you'll feel better :p. Seriously, tell her to mind her own business and if she doesn't have anything nice to say, she needs to keep her anorexic cake hole shut. I finally got tired of putting up with this type of BS and started dishing it back - that REALLY helped.

So today I lost a button on my pants and broke a nail trying to pull up my pants - yay.... go team. Not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. Joined a gym - went for 1.5 weeks everyday, felt good, then POOF - got a really nasty cold and been down with it for almost 3 weeks now. So everytime I try to start something positive for myself, I get slapped in the face with yet another obstacle. Really getting sick of this s***.

I'm not trying to be a size 2 here..... I just want to be a size 8-10.... that's NOT asking too much. I'm gonna stop now..... no sense rambling about the same ol'.

Hang in there and forget the anti-depressants. It's a bandaid. Not gonna cure the CAUSE of the depression, only treat the so-called symptoms. Oh, and antidepressants tend to make people gain weight which is what is causing ur issue in the first place.

Don't ya love modern medecine??
Click to expand...

Yep! They prescribed Zoloft. I was actually on it for a short period of time a few years ago and I had a bit of a different reaction to it than you're describing. I definitely went through the emotionless zombie mode with it, but I went to see my doctor about it and she upped my dose, which leveled me out. So anyway, we'll see if it helps this time! I gave myself a time frame (since it takes awhile to get to the right levels in your body) and if I see no improvement by then, I'll take myself off. I'm not big on medicines.

And I'm right with you on simply wanting to be a size 8-10. My body structure has never been made to be a size 0. My hip bones alone would put me in a size 8-10! They're huge! I know everyone's situation is a bit different and we all have different backgrounds and experiences with all of this crap, but my feelings about all of it are right in tune with yours. I hate feeling this way and I know you do, too. I wish I had a magic cure to tell you about, but I don't. All I can offer is honesty and maybe some comfort in knowing that you're not alone in your frustration.

And thanks for the comment about my soon to be b*#$@-in-law. That put a smile on my face. :smilielol5: I'm afraid that she and I will have to have some serious words very soon. My husband's family will probably hate me after that occurs b/c they worship the ground that fake priss walks on, but so be it.

I hope you feel better and are back on your feet soon!
 
Hey, I have two sons (ages 4 years and 10 months) and I had PPD after both births. I am currently taking Wellbutrin, and it is fantastic for both depression & aiding weight loss. Wellbutrin is different from other antidepressants because it is a mild stimulant, so it gives you energy & suppresses your appetite. Other antidepressants like Zoloft make you gain weight. You can't take it if you're breastfeeding though - only after the baby is weaned. I gained 35 pounds with each pregnancy, and it took 7 months to lose it after the first & 9 months to lose it after the second. I am 5'9" and was 150 when I got pregnant with my older son - I am now 154 after the second & trying to get down to around 145 (my ideal weight), a size 6 for me.
 
Ahh the gym..... and the food.... doing it - nothing yet, in fact I'm getting bigger (figure that one out). Then I got sick. Now I'm not sick. But.... over the weekend I managed to scratch my cornea (not sure how) and had to go to the ER so no exercise for still a few more days... *sigh*..... it's been a trend. Looks like it's going to be another summer of long sleeves and pants. I'd rather sweat and be over-heated than wear short sleeves and shorts..... looks terrible. Plus, I'm sure many people can sympathize with the following:

If you're overweight and your legs rub together when you walk, it actually causes a burn on the inside of your legs that is horribly painful and prone to infection.... so yeah, pass on the shorts or skirts.:ack2:

Still... will keep going to the gym. At least I feel better about having exercised.... you know, heart health and all that. It's a start I guess? :p

Cheers,

Pinecone
 
HIYA ladies

im so happy i came across this form, as i can relate to all of you guys, im newly a mother to a beautiful baby girl, i have a man that all my friends would die for and that loves me so much. so why am i not happy????????????

i am 23 years old and have never been very thin and it never bother me but since having my baby i hate my body, hate the way i look and have losted my self confidance!! i have put on alot of weight over the last few years and i feel terrible,
i lose my father last year and my life has changed alot.

my bf and I wer at a party a few weeks ago and a women asked me in front of everyone why i was so fat??? i nearly died i was so upset.
i feel like my weight is my only fault and i am sick of it being an issue and something for ppl to pick on.

so i woke up the other morning and said to myself i dont want to be like this anymore, thats really a 1st for me. i am watching what i am eating and have joined curves gym. any1 else have any tips on how to be successful??
 
I know what you mean! I was so small before I had kids (still overweight but small compared to now!) I also had postpartum depression after my son (he's now 2). I found it impossible to loose weight with the depression and the lack of sleep. I was prescribed zoloft but my community has other alternatives to try if people want to try a different approach. I found a support group very helpful as well as specific mom and baby exercise classes. Light therapy was suggested, but I didn't participate, I just tried to get out of the house at least once a day to get some sunlight. Now with my second child who is 5 months I don't have postpartum depression and I am getting better sleep - the weight loss is going much better this time around. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions - I would love to try to help! As a busy mom of 2 my time on here is limited so I don't always respond on threads - but I will respond to a PM.
Great job getting help and support!! That is the most important thing!
 
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