Poor body image

S

Sxybny

0
I have a very poor body image. I don't think I see myself the way others do. But the way I feel about myself is bringing me down, and hurting my relationship. Does anyone know any ways to get positive about your body? I don't think my boyfriend lies when he tells me what he thinks of me, but I don't feel enough, because my body doesn't look appealing, or because of my small boobs :mad: i hate how small they are :mad: BUT despite my bad feelings I want to make myself feel better... Accepting anyone's advice!
 
I know a lot more about training the body than I do about improving self-confidence but since no one else has given this a shot yet I figured I would. I think one thing you should do is focus on the positive things about you. Mentally and physically. Think about the traits you really like about yourself and don't hesitate to pat yourself on the shoulder. You should also try to surround yourself with positive people who will tell good things about yourself. Stay away from people that put you down. You should also think about the things you don't like about yourself and how to improve them. As far as your breast size is concerned, please try not to sweat it. A lot of guys really don't care about the size of a girls breasts and would rather be with a girl who has a cool personality and takes decent care of herself. So try to accept your chest size for what it is right now. But don't worry about it. I know personally I would rather be with a girl who had a nice butt or nice eyes then one who had a big chest anyday. And any girl can have a nice butt. But if a girl is cool then that is better than either of those physical attributes. So if there's something physical about yourself that you'd like to change that can be changed, then change it. The same goes for the mental. Try to break habits that you think are bad. The more you break those bad habits the easier they will become to break. I hope this helps. :)
 
I try to break my bad habits. I feel like I'm not enough compared to what the media portrays to be ideal. Almost like constant competition.. dont really feel sexy when i see myself after that it need work.. hmmmmmm
 
Asside from your breast size - what are your biggest complaints about your body? We'll see if someone can help you target that - because when it comes to your feelings - I don't have a clue (go ahead, ask my wife)! But if you think improving your phyisque will help - let's get it on!
 
For what it's worth, I find working out to be incredibly empowering. I can't say that I know it from a women's perspective, but men can suffer from poor self image as well. After all, not all of us are shredded, 6'0" and have a chiseled six pack.

With that being said... When I first started training a few years ago, I saw an incredible transformation in myself. It was like, hey... if I can do this, I can do anything. It's an awesome feeling.

Like McCarley said... if you think improving your physique will help, then let's do it!

Btw, ignore the media hype... the only people that look like that (for the most part) are the people in the ads... for the rest of us, we just have to take care of ourselves and do the best we can with what we've got.
 
Endo said:
Btw, ignore the media hype... the only people that look like that (for the most part) are the people in the ads... for the rest of us, we just have to take care of ourselves and do the best we can with what we've got.
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well put

i tell ppl to take a picture of themselves when they start. then take a good look at the person in the picture. THAT'S YOUR COMPETITION. to better yourself each day :)
 
Opening up a bit.....so don't flame please. :(

I have always struggled with a bit of an Adonis complex. It was much worse when I was younger to the point where I've neglected important relationships that ended up ending but through focusing on other aspect of life and goals I've learned to control it.

Abear mentioned taking a picture and revisiting it from time to time. This has been an incredible tool for me. When I feel like a slopppy fat-ass, or feel skinny and weak I just look back on pictures through my past.

Understanding that most of the photos we see through media are altered or the subjects have paid thousands of dollars for surgery is important as well. I can't find it right now but T-nation had a Q&A with a male fitness model who actually had surger to remove the very little fat he had remaining between is abdominal muscles to give him more of a chiseled 6-pack look. I hear female fitness models go to much more extremes.

My point is...keep your head up. We, the real everyday people of the world, have your back and feel your struggle.

Hope this helps and is not too scattered.

In Health,
DM
 
Okay well I definitly appriciate everything that everyone had to say. Thanks for the replies. Dm nice post it was good. Almost improving more and more as the days go by~ Ciao for now
-S
 
I'll help you anyway I can, but there are others on this forum who have much more experience. You just need to ask the right questions.

So, physically, what would you like to accomplish?

What is your current diet, in detail?

How much time - days per week, time per day - will you commit to?

Do you belong to a gym or will you be working out from home? If at home what equipment do you have?

This should get you started. Once you answer these (and any others posted), we should be able to help you make some changes.
 
I know a former prof. model who had a rib removed...yes a rib..from the back she looks like a man because she has no hips.
 
mmk well i wanted my body to be more toned all over but to target my love handles abs and inner/outter thighs. my current diet is veggies, pastas, milk, water, juice, fruits, cereals, breads, eggies. i am commited to 3-5 days a week of work out plans. i will eat a sensible and healthy diet if i can think of one. to slim trim tone and tighten u know the drill.
 
I'm like you in the regard that even if my bf says I've lost weight or I look good, to a point I don't believe it, and feel like they're just saying it to make me feel better about myself.

The way I see it, it's not worth starving yourself so you can be what Hollywood classes as "sexy". Look at what happens to a large portion of people in and around Hollywood: drug addicts, alcoholics, bulemics, anorexics, cosmetic surgery addicts, Hollywood puts too much pressure on people to have a specific look/appeal. They are conformists, plain and simple, and what's worse, they feel the need to be that way to "fit in".

The best thing you can do, like most of the others have said, is compare apples to apples, compare yourself, to yourself. Because like abear said, you are your own competition.

And with regards to your breasts, they're not that important. They're not going to make or break a relationship. Not to mention, 3 of my good friends have large breasts: D cup, E cup & G/H cup(and I didn't know they went up that big either!!!), and they all hate them, they would do anything to get rid of their large bust.

Isn't it funny how we're all never happy with what we have?
Lets hope all that made sense!!! ha-ha.
 
SXYBNY, I felt the same way. Just like you, I didn't believe what people were saying about me..How pretty I was and everything, even my hubby (boyfriend at the time) told me the same thing....Everyone goes though this one time or another in their lives...He told me, not to look at the imperfections that you have, look at yourself and see you as you are...You are a pretty young woman....This whole classification of women in the Hollywood scene was all wrong...They have had plastic surgury on themselves just to make themselves to be more appealing to other (men or women)...Even the magazines are fake...No one is perfect...We all have our ups and downs in life about ourselves...
 
abear said:
well put

i tell ppl to take a picture of themselves when they start. then take a good look at the person in the picture. THAT'S YOUR COMPETITION. to better yourself each day :)
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Very cool idea!! We need to stop comparing ourselves to others - we will NEVER be them!

My husband recently told me that since I have lost a few pounds that what he finds sexy about me is my new found confidence! He is attracted to me because I dress better (not frumpy in his t-shirts), I walk with my head up and shoulders back and have a better attitude! I couldn't believe it, but thats what he said!

Believe me, I have a horrible time dealing with the way my body looks, but I have to "own" that and take charge. I get so frustrated sometimes, I am just a downright ugly person to be around - my personality is ugly, not me..and I have to remember that!

Sound like you have a wonderful boyfriend who is supportive - take advantage of that support and tell him what you want to achieve so he can be there for you and help you when you are down! :D
 
Hello, I'm new here but I have a feeling this site will help. It may sound dumb but every morning before I get ready for class or work I stand infront of the mirror and say "Tim (my boyfriend) loves me for who I am and what I look like"

It seems like a dumb thing to do but in time you learn to love what you look like too. Also the picture idea is a great idea. I did it and I am trying to beat that person. Of course exercise helps as well. After i get done I feel better about myself. After the first week I went I felt like I had lost 10 lbs. ....even thou I didn't. Try to be positive and you will do great!!!

Meghan
 
i like what judie said "my personality is ugly, not me..and I have to remember that!".

Im just gona say that i enjoy being around non-superstar models that have a heads up, fun personality rather than being around a perfect figured, slim and toned model who's personality is about them and only them.

Looks arent everything you know, A great mind can make you irrisistable...
Improving your body should be a fun and enjoyable adventure, so if you choose to do so ... i wish you the best of luck.. just as long as you dont forget who you are.

hope i helped :D
 
ciao Sxybny...
most women have those issues. you are not alone, we are all struggling against those monsters...
i saw you are very young.
when i was your age i was also very critical towards my own appearence, i understand very well what you are going thru!
you have got to learn to look at yourself with "different eyeglasses". with more affection. more acceptance.
and that will also help you support your motivations i think.
remember, you are worth it! and your efforts in the gym will bring results!
never forget to
CELEBRATE your wonderful uniqueness!!!!!!!!!!!!!

does it sound cheesy to you?
sorry, i am italian ;-)

Sil

p.s. i was impressed by some replies you got. wow. interesting!!!!

ciao to everybody.
 
I really do empathise with you about your body image. I'm no expert when it comes to physically changing your body, i get help with that myself, but you are lucky that you have a supportive boyfriend. Even though you may disagree with him when he says you look good, you know it still gives you that little boost you need. I feel down a lot about my body and it makes me feel real sad but sometimes you have to have a good look around you and see how lucky you really are. It is horrible but there are worse things than body image. Just being able to use your body and the fact that you're haelthy is such a big bonus in life. You need to surround yourself with people who make you feel good and who make you laugh.Try not to put pressure on yourself because the more you worry the harder you will find it to like yourself.Do things that you enjoy to make yourself feel good, release some endorphins! Most of all, realise that if you want something enough it can happen. Things take time so be patient. :D :D :D
 
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