Okay, I'll address things one-at-a-time then give you some extra advice:
Back about 15 years ago I lost 40lbs quickly by starving myself and walking a good bit but I don't want to starve myself... I will have to start back eating at some point in time and when I do I'll go crazy eating again if I try to starve myself again like that.
You'll be glad to know that we don't want you to starve yourself. If anything, you should eat 5 - 7 meals a day -- roughly every 2-3 hours. However, these meals are to be HEALTHY and SMALL. The average stomach (as in the organ) is only slighly larger than an adult fist, so try only to eat a little more than that amount.
Right now from overeating, your stomach is likely stretched, so it takes more and more food to get that full feeling. Step one is training yourself to feel full from normal sized meals again.
As far as WHAT to eat, you want to avoid foods high in fat and sugars. You want a lot more greens, a lot more fruit, a lot more fiber, and a lot more protein. Good things to look at: fish, poultry, beans, grains, wheat breads, any green vegetables, red vegetables.
Things to stay away from: fried foods (cut these out ENTIRELY when you can), cheese (there are exceptions, like ricotta and cottage), and overly processed foods (these are high in saturated/trans fats - fresh is best!). I can't stress avoiding fried foods enough: what makes a food fried? Answer: surrounding it with cooked fat.
To keep yourself sane, a common practice is to eat healthy all week, and then take one day out of each week (Saturdays or Sundays work well) where you can eat whatever you want. Don't go nuts though.
My wife does not cook and doesn't plan on starting.
You should be cooking for yourself. Fresh food can be better for you than packaged food (and almost always better than fast food), and when you prepare it yourself, you know what's going in it!
I have never been a breakfast eater. For whatever reason I can't seem to make myself eat in the morning... unless it was the occasional donut.
Dax covered this, but let me drive the point home:
ALWAYS EAT BREAKFAST. Breakfast will get your body metabolizing good and early, and will take away the craving to have a big lunch. On top of that, it will give you energy in the morning that you can use throughout the rest of the day. My breakfast recommendations:
Plain oatmeal (add your own flavoring), egg whites (taste just like whole eggs, but better for you! You can buy them in cartons), cereal (the non-sugarey stuff), whole/multi grain bread, natural peanut butter (the kind where the only ingredient is "peanuts"!), fruit is always good, yogurt (healthier to mix plain yogurt with some jam than to buy it pre-flavored).
Stuff you DON'T want to eat are the breakfasts people get that are straight sugar like kids cereals, donuts, pancakes/waffles w/ syrup (there are exceptions to this one). Sugar, unlike more complex carbohydrates, will give you a jolt of energy that won't last very long. Also, again, NO FRIED FOODS. No bacons, no fried hams, no sausages.
I usually eat lunch and pig out although I use to go without lunch quite often back when I traveled a lot. It's one of those things that if I sit down and the food is placed in front of me I will eat it (this is at lunch).
One of the toughest things to learn where eating is concerned is when to stop. I used to be a tub, and the tough part for me was knowing when I was done. There's this restaurant near my house that I go to sometimes where the portions are huge, even by an over-eater's standards.
Remember how big you want your stomach to be, and train yourself to stop. The hard part is when you're having a good conversation and you want to pick at your food over the course of it, even though you're done with your mail mean. Best bet: set it aside and hope it gets carried away by a waitress!
Supper time is when I usually seem to be the most hungry. Although if I excercise before eating I fill up quicker and don't eat as much.
Dinner is when you want to eat
the least! You're your most hungry because you've spent the day running on the fuel from lunch, and that's not nearly enough. However, since by dinnertime your day is winding down, you don't want to fill yourself with too much energy -- it'll just go to waste, or worse, get converted to fat!
If you must eat dinner, stick to proteins and green vegetables. Sugars and other simple carbs will definitely turn to fat (or give you a less restful sleep). So, a good dinner for example would be lemon chicken and string beans (what I had for dinner last night). The complex carbs in the string beans are slowly absorbed so I had enough energy to last me until bedtime, and the protein in the chicken is non-fattening, not readily used as an energy source, and when I sleep it will be used to rebuild my muscles.
As far as exercising before you eat supper, I recommend exercising in the mornings rather than evenings. They've shown that people who excercise in the mornings have better eating habits throughout the day -- and your body is in its best condition and highest energy level in the morning, so you get a better workout.
...If I'm gonna eat good food, this is about as close as it gonna get for me most likely...
That's a very negative approach to all this. If you really want to be healthy, you have to approach it willing to make a lifestyle change. Otherwise, why waste our time? You have to want to help yourself right, not just look for a miracle solution.
We are just starting to walk... we walked 1 mile the other night and 2 miles tonight... both times before we ate sup. Our plan is to walk 3-4 times per week and walk at least 2 miles at a fairly fast pace. But if stationary bicycling is that much better then I'm all ears.
Good, good, but eventually you'll want to start jogging. I know it sounds horrible now, but you have to be willing to suffer a little
Getting fitter has a lot to do with intensity, and people who don't want to work for it aren't going to get the results they want (or, at least it will take years for them to be forthcoming).
Stationary bikes are alright, but it won't beat jogging. For quick, highly effective workouts, do a search for HIIT on these forums or go to the HIIT subforum. It doesn't sound like it's going to be your thing, but it's worth a shot.
I CANNOT run... DON'T even begin to suggest it cause it ain't gonna happen.
Again, why with the negativity? When you ask people for help, the last thing they want to hear is you refusing solutions. Running is good for you, and of course you can't run, you're not fit. But you WILL be able to run - the conditioning process can take 3 - 6 months to get comfortable, but if you base your ability to run on how well you can do it now, it's just foolishness.
You talk about your bad lung capacity - and there's no better way to improve it. Also, as you get older, your heart health is increasingly important. The fix? Running.
So you're walking now. Then move on to running for 50 yards, then walking for 200. Then switch to running for 100 yards, then walking for 100. See the pattern? It will work and you'll feel much better, and thinner, for it.
Bottom line is I'd like to get the weight off as quick as possible and then maintain it.
Then don't shut out the solutions. For getting it off quick, you want higher intensity cardio workouts. For maintaining it, you're going to need a lifestyle change above and beyond paying Weight Watchers to feed you.
It's really good, though, that you're enthusiastic about it. Hopefully you can use that to break down some of the mental roadblocks you've set up against getting healthy.
along with maybe something fairly inexpensive equipment wise that might be a good investment to shed the fat a little quicker. I considered the Ab Chair or Ab Lounger but read here that they were just fads, scams, etc. I'm afraid if I don't see some results quickly then I might get un-motivated.
I'm going to spoil your dreams a little bit and tell you that for your first month of training, you're not going to see results. This has nothing to do with the processes not being effectual, but the fact that your body has to undergo neuromuscular adaptations before changes really start to happen. This basically means that your body is going to clumsily figure out what it's supposed to do before it really starts doing it. Right now your systems are all telling you "eat more!", "only greasy foods are tasty!", "I don't want breakfast!", "You can't run!".
So your first month of working at it is going to be spent undoing these body messages that you've been living with all these years. Then you can start to expect gains - and the amount you get out depends on how much you put in. When I was 250 lbs, I was able to lose 6-10 lbs a month by eating right and working out regularly.
Here's a basic thing for you to know:
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS "SPOT TRAINING" FOR WEIGHT LOSS.
This means that you can't target a particular area for weight loss. If you used an ab lounger, or even just did a lot of crunches, all you're doing is making your ab muscles bigger. I.e., putting muscle behind the fat.
The only way to burn the fat is by doing enough exercise to bring your body to the point of burning fat. When you exercise intensely, the first 30 minutes of exercise is going to run on carbohydrates. The remainder of the exercise (assuming you're working out well enough to burn through your carbohydrates in this time) is going to burn fat. It will take the fat from different sources in your body - there's no way to ensure it will target a particular area first. Unfortunately for men, the spare tire is generally the last thing to go.
I'm afraid if I don't see some results quickly then I might get un-motivated.
Again, don't be negative. This is NOT a one-time thing: you're literally looking at changes that you want to keep with you for the rest of your life. It's not a question of losing the weight and then easing in to bad habits -- it's a matter of living a healthy lifestyle, with weight loss being one of the MANY benefits that come with it. You're lucky that you have a wife you can help you with these changes, so together you can learn to cook healthy, be active, and keep each other on track. Sometimes, if you can't motivate yourself, it's easier to motivate someone else. So let yourselves motivate each other.
Finally, remember, all we can do is offer advice. YOU'RE doing the real work. So when you need help, after getting all our advice, you'll have to look inward and decide what you need to change or what it's going to take for you to stick to this plan.
