When I graduated from high school I was sitting (all day in fact) at around 260 pounds. Luckily for me, I fell in love shortly thereafter. This spontaneous infatuation gave me the much needed inspiration to lose weight. The pounds that had clung to me for years, those that had been the source of so much teasing and sheer emotional suffering, finally began to disappear. They did so through steadfast diet and exercise. I admit to doing Atkins and taking fiber supplements. Salads and sausage were on my plate for a long time. It was a dull combination I was married to for some time. I began to exercise as well, beginning with a fourth of a mile and progressing to about two miles a night, every night out of the week save for Saturdays and Sundays. I went from 260 to 190. Bravo, the mission was accomplished though perhaps not through the best means. I'm 6'2 and thus feel 190 is an acceptable weight for me. I felt great and was happy with myself for the first time. My temperament and mood in general bettered and rarely moody or sad.
This is my grave dilemma: Returning to college, I survived four semesters before succumbing to the temptations of fast food restaurants and the like. I was 210 (+20) after my second year of college. This, I deemed, was fine. However, the atrocities that happened this summer were not. I have gone up to 242 as of yesterday (+30!). Being home without the amazing motivation I had before (I am still dating and much in love with the aforementioned girl, if you are curious, yet she does not bolster my YAY GONNA GO OUT AND JOG spirit as she did before) is difficult. Here's a big problem: I have a mom that feels she is a failure if she does not "feed" me generously (as self-confessed by the woman herself). I have to confront her every time I come home from college. She buys terribly fattening food that is easy to grab off the shelf and eat, like bagels. I'm a sucker for fast and efficient food that I can microwave. If my sisters and I ask her to stop bringing the specific food because it's hard to resist, she'll stop-- for about a week. My entire life, from age three until my late teens, she trained me to finish absolutely everything on my plate. I feel horrid leaving anything on it, and of course, this is terrible for maintaining a decent weight! If I order something at a restaurant, I feel absolutely compelled to finish it! If I need help with something, it's definitely this. This problem comes back to haunt me time and time again. All those days she didn't let me get up from the table until I finished all my food have really taken a toll on me. I simply feel dirty knowing all that food is going to go wasted. If anyone actually reads this, I implore you to help me break this habit! I have no idea how and it's been killing me slowly for years! Anyhow, I'm wondering in my wondering if I'll get any responses I've come to ponder if those responses, if I do get them, will be from genuine people that read my entire post rather than a generic response from counterfeit compassion! If you do respond, throw the word "macaroni" somewhere in your post. Yes, I'm serious. I'm just curious! It's not every day I decide to put up a diary online and I'm wondering if the responses will be genuine
To be fair, I added this after the first response to this diary
But anyhow, on a positive note, I think I can recover from this terrible pitfall. I will be leaving my home for my third year of college (and if you're wondering, I turn 20 in a week) and my self-exile from this food-infested fortress will be ensured until upcoming May. Unfortunately I will be taking up a Student-Teaching Internship and 15 hours of classes for my English Lang. Arts and Reading degree, so I'll be stressed and look towards food to relieve me of it! Ah, but no, that's what I have you!
Goal: I'll be clear and to the point: To return to 190!
How will I accomplish my goal:
Daily weigh-ins. This has always served me as a great way to stay motivated.
Exercise and eat right!
How realistic is my goal:
I have terrible memory but the weigh-ins can definately happen as they did before. Exercise will be the most difficult. Time goes by awfully slow while running under nothing but the moon. Before the thought of my one and only love was enough , now it seems I need a little more
When will I start:
IMMEDIATELY!
This is my grave dilemma: Returning to college, I survived four semesters before succumbing to the temptations of fast food restaurants and the like. I was 210 (+20) after my second year of college. This, I deemed, was fine. However, the atrocities that happened this summer were not. I have gone up to 242 as of yesterday (+30!). Being home without the amazing motivation I had before (I am still dating and much in love with the aforementioned girl, if you are curious, yet she does not bolster my YAY GONNA GO OUT AND JOG spirit as she did before) is difficult. Here's a big problem: I have a mom that feels she is a failure if she does not "feed" me generously (as self-confessed by the woman herself). I have to confront her every time I come home from college. She buys terribly fattening food that is easy to grab off the shelf and eat, like bagels. I'm a sucker for fast and efficient food that I can microwave. If my sisters and I ask her to stop bringing the specific food because it's hard to resist, she'll stop-- for about a week. My entire life, from age three until my late teens, she trained me to finish absolutely everything on my plate. I feel horrid leaving anything on it, and of course, this is terrible for maintaining a decent weight! If I order something at a restaurant, I feel absolutely compelled to finish it! If I need help with something, it's definitely this. This problem comes back to haunt me time and time again. All those days she didn't let me get up from the table until I finished all my food have really taken a toll on me. I simply feel dirty knowing all that food is going to go wasted. If anyone actually reads this, I implore you to help me break this habit! I have no idea how and it's been killing me slowly for years! Anyhow, I'm wondering in my wondering if I'll get any responses I've come to ponder if those responses, if I do get them, will be from genuine people that read my entire post rather than a generic response from counterfeit compassion! If you do respond, throw the word "macaroni" somewhere in your post. Yes, I'm serious. I'm just curious! It's not every day I decide to put up a diary online and I'm wondering if the responses will be genuine
To be fair, I added this after the first response to this diary But anyhow, on a positive note, I think I can recover from this terrible pitfall. I will be leaving my home for my third year of college (and if you're wondering, I turn 20 in a week) and my self-exile from this food-infested fortress will be ensured until upcoming May. Unfortunately I will be taking up a Student-Teaching Internship and 15 hours of classes for my English Lang. Arts and Reading degree, so I'll be stressed and look towards food to relieve me of it! Ah, but no, that's what I have you!
Goal: I'll be clear and to the point: To return to 190!
How will I accomplish my goal:
Daily weigh-ins. This has always served me as a great way to stay motivated.
Exercise and eat right!
How realistic is my goal:
I have terrible memory but the weigh-ins can definately happen as they did before. Exercise will be the most difficult. Time goes by awfully slow while running under nothing but the moon. Before the thought of my one and only love was enough
, now it seems I need a little more When will I start:
IMMEDIATELY!
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