imitation_deg
New member
Hey all.
New here, and looking for some motivation and focus.
I have not always had a struggle with weight, but due to some unfortunate events, I have lost control of my weight.
Currently, I am 5'5", and weight 197 lbs. I HATE IT! Nothing like a new set of stretch marks smeared all over your belly to make you feel fat and ugly...
Anyway, just because I feel like sharing my woes...I would love to talk about how I ended up to be this heavy.
Growing up, I was always just a tad bit chubby, perhaps just 10 pounds heavier than I should have been. I was extremely active as a child, and although I was "thin," you could tell that my body was suppossed to be just a little thinner.
I weighed 135 lbs when I was 14, and then my mother passed away, and in a matter of months, I blew up to 175 lbs. I blame that on depression, but mostly on all the fast food my dad fed us, since we had a hard time getting fresh cooked meals at home. I was still active though, but the food was the main culprit of my wieght gain.
It wasn't until I was 19 when I was able to lose some weight, but with a bad combination of depression, sicknesses, and physical activty, when I had been able to drop down to 145 lbs.
Finally, though, I had begun living a healthy lifestyle, to a point where I was eating 5 small meals a day and running 25 miles a week, and drinking lots and lots of water. I was proud of myself, and I was looking good and feeling great. My mood had gotten a lot better, my skin was glowing, and I could fit into some really cute clothes. Then out of nowhere, I gained 10 lbs in 2 weeks. I couldn't understand how, and when I had finally aquired health insurance, I decided I needed to address this issue with a doctor.
After a few tests, it was determined that I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I know that I am not the only one suffering from this, and for that reason, I would LOVE to hear from those who have PCOS.
That being said...I have had my battle with PCOS. In the past 5 years, my weight has continuously fluctuated from 145lbs to 197lbs, back and forth, though 165 was the lowest I had been able to maintain for the longest amount of time.
It doesn't help any that I work at Starbucks. I don't have too much money, so I can get away with eating (and drinking) my calories for free/cheap.
This past year was a REALLY bad year for me, emotionally. I gained 20 lbs this year, and I have been struggling to get into good habits.
I am making a commitment, though. I graduate from college (FINALLY!!!!!!) in May, and am moving to California next summer. I have worked really hard to get to this point in my life, and I would love to celebrate my success by creating a "new" me, for the new and exciting life I have ahead of me.
I know my weight drags me down, and I am so tired of having that be such a problem for me, especially when I know that I am capable of sooo much more. I am tired of living my young life being obese. I want to love my body.
I have finally reached a point where I can no longer find clothes my size at the mall. I am so self-conscious about my weight that I let that get in the way of romance and intimacy. God damn it-- I want to wear cute clothes and look good naked!
Sooooo....here I am. I need help, and I am hoping that I can find continuous support from here. Sorry for the long rant, but it's time to change my life.
Looking foward to getting to know this place better.
New here, and looking for some motivation and focus.
I have not always had a struggle with weight, but due to some unfortunate events, I have lost control of my weight.
Currently, I am 5'5", and weight 197 lbs. I HATE IT! Nothing like a new set of stretch marks smeared all over your belly to make you feel fat and ugly...
Anyway, just because I feel like sharing my woes...I would love to talk about how I ended up to be this heavy.
Growing up, I was always just a tad bit chubby, perhaps just 10 pounds heavier than I should have been. I was extremely active as a child, and although I was "thin," you could tell that my body was suppossed to be just a little thinner.
I weighed 135 lbs when I was 14, and then my mother passed away, and in a matter of months, I blew up to 175 lbs. I blame that on depression, but mostly on all the fast food my dad fed us, since we had a hard time getting fresh cooked meals at home. I was still active though, but the food was the main culprit of my wieght gain.
It wasn't until I was 19 when I was able to lose some weight, but with a bad combination of depression, sicknesses, and physical activty, when I had been able to drop down to 145 lbs.
Finally, though, I had begun living a healthy lifestyle, to a point where I was eating 5 small meals a day and running 25 miles a week, and drinking lots and lots of water. I was proud of myself, and I was looking good and feeling great. My mood had gotten a lot better, my skin was glowing, and I could fit into some really cute clothes. Then out of nowhere, I gained 10 lbs in 2 weeks. I couldn't understand how, and when I had finally aquired health insurance, I decided I needed to address this issue with a doctor.
After a few tests, it was determined that I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I know that I am not the only one suffering from this, and for that reason, I would LOVE to hear from those who have PCOS.
That being said...I have had my battle with PCOS. In the past 5 years, my weight has continuously fluctuated from 145lbs to 197lbs, back and forth, though 165 was the lowest I had been able to maintain for the longest amount of time.
It doesn't help any that I work at Starbucks. I don't have too much money, so I can get away with eating (and drinking) my calories for free/cheap.
This past year was a REALLY bad year for me, emotionally. I gained 20 lbs this year, and I have been struggling to get into good habits.
I am making a commitment, though. I graduate from college (FINALLY!!!!!!) in May, and am moving to California next summer. I have worked really hard to get to this point in my life, and I would love to celebrate my success by creating a "new" me, for the new and exciting life I have ahead of me.
I know my weight drags me down, and I am so tired of having that be such a problem for me, especially when I know that I am capable of sooo much more. I am tired of living my young life being obese. I want to love my body.
I have finally reached a point where I can no longer find clothes my size at the mall. I am so self-conscious about my weight that I let that get in the way of romance and intimacy. God damn it-- I want to wear cute clothes and look good naked!
Sooooo....here I am. I need help, and I am hoping that I can find continuous support from here. Sorry for the long rant, but it's time to change my life.
Looking foward to getting to know this place better.
