So whats been going on? I'm GAINING WEIGHT! I'm not surprised. I've been super stressed for the past two weeks. I haven't been eating well at all. I've managed to stick to my no alcohol plan but I gave into drinking some pop a few times. Monday went fine, had a test that was very important. Things at home have been super tense and I honestly feel down coming home sometimes, which I definitely shouldn't be feeling. Fridays have been super hectic and that's why I've been late on all the weight in's for the challenge. It's 4:27am, and I'm still up. I still have bad insomnia. I know it sounds like things are getting worse but I think I hit rock bottom and I'm slowly crawling back up. There is some sign of hope.
Anyways, I've been asked so many times to eat out lately and I have been going out. I looked at all the bills and I can't believe how much I spent on just food. Anyways, future invites have been declined. I simply explained my weight issue to my friends and they respect my wishes. I have one dinner meet that I will go to because its an important one. One night I had coffee with some of my friends. As we where in discussion I couldn't help but watch at how everyone of them was overweight and not doing a single thing to fix that problem. I even started to feel a bit disgusted. The reason is, the people I had coffee with, I had asked them all if they would like to join me to lose some weight and be fit and healthy and they all declined. I felt as if they didn't care for their well being. I like my friends, but it seems like all they do is eat and drink. It's opened my eyes. Like for example. I went to the mall earlier this week, no reason really, two of my buddies wanted to get some stuff and I tagged along. Well I passed two stores that had some nice clothes. As I walked in one of the stores I was admiring some of the suits, my buddies wouldn't even walk in the store. They just looked at me funny for even walking in. I asked why they didn't come in and they said "We can't go in there! They don't have anything that would fit us!" To me that was a wake up call. That's right, nothing in that store would fit my friends or me. BECAUSE WE'RE BIG! I figured that would motivate them a bit to lose some weight but NO. Anyways the second store, I walked in and my friends gave me the same look but they saw how nice the clothes where and came in with me this time. The look the store clerk gave was a little daunting but understandable. I saw the most awesome suit I had ever seen in a long time. I would have bought it right there and then.. I had asked for the biggest size they had and said I would take it. Well he searched and the biggest size wouldn't even fit me. I told the guy that I was trying to lose weight and that it would be fine, but he explained to me that it would be hard to properly fit me in a suit if I'm going to lose weight. The store clerk was kinda impressed at how I wanted to lose weight and he starting talking about his weight issue and how it was very hard for him but he did manage it. My buddies during this time where trying to put on some of the clothes and it was bloody hilarious at how they looked in them. One of them took a jacket that he liked off the rack and his arms wouldn't even fit. We laughed but at the same time we had that feeling of how big we really where. After the second store one of my buddies did feel motivated to lose some weight. About 30min passed and he invited me for wings though? And that was after we had dinner! I did decline and decided that was my call to leave them and go home.
I've decided to not hang out with my obese friends as much. That sounds cruel but think of it like this. Should an alcoholic hang out at a bar with heavy drinkers? Well thats what happens when I hang out with them. They are always eating and it does effect me. I thought I would be safe with having coffee with them, but they order some fancy hot chocolate with whip cream and a cookie or a slice of cake. And all I have is a small green tea lol And I have to watch them eat cake and have a really sweet drink. So I can't even go for a coffee without watching them pig out! So now I've decided ONLY to hang out with my obese friends when they are not eating. Like say if we go play pool, bowling, or going to see a movie, things like that.
I really do feel alone on this journey but I guess I'm not surprised. My family and friends eat unhealthy and have weight issues...I knew this before BUT given that fact, I really believed I would have most of them WANTING to help themselves. I was wrong.
So now I have another thing I want to do when I lose this weight. I want to get that suit lol I know I've been slacking off but a new week is here and I hope I lose SOMETHING by next weight in on Friday lol Anything lol I'll settle with 1 pound
Sorry if this post is kinda weird, It's now 5am and I haven't slept yet and I dunno if I'm even typing correctly lol I'm now going to go to bed. Good night everyone
I mean... Good morning lol
GAH! ok ok ok...... im done ranting lol I'm gonna lay down, or surf some more. g'night....i mean.... morning