One more try!!

katehunibun

katehunibun

New member
Hi. My name is Kate and this has to be my 147th attempt at a diary! I have come back with my tail between my legs and at my fattest :(

Back in 2011 I found this forum and it changed my life. I lost over 50lb!!!! but over the years I have gained it all back :cry: and more. Up until last Christmas I had only gained 15-20lb but gave up smoking on 1st of January and had some serious depression/anxiety problems from about Easter time and have managed to gain another 40lb this year alone!!!!. I am so bloody anger with myself. I've had therapy and I'm in a pretty good place mentally so I just need to shift this other person I seem to be carrying around!!
I start a diet every day and then when I f**k up I tell myself that I will start tomorrow, or even better, MONDAY!!!!!! :banghead:

I have been thinking about starting another diary for a little while but my life is busy and I don't get chance to read stuff on the forum and post but I am going to try and MAKE myself find the time. Back in 2011 it was my life, I need to do that again.

So onto today:-

Like yesterday and the day before that etc etc I woke up thinking today I will start but unlike the other days, it is 5.15pm and I'm still going strong :) I actually did some exercise this morning! I took one of my dogs for a walk to the reservoir (about 2 miles away......she is obsessed with water and loves swimming) and then we ran back!!!
Back in 2011 I was obsessed with losing weight and getting fit. I want that back but I just cant seem to be motivated to get off my fat arse. but hey, I managed it today :)

Ok, gonna go cook dinner. I'll come back in a bit with my aims, weight and measurements!
 
Sunday 14th September 2014

Breakfast: 2 slices of nimble wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo roll and a bag of snackajacks
Dinner: Small bowl of spag bol
Snacks: 2 nectarines and a granola bar

Fitbit steps: 9154
Exercise: 40 min walk/20 min run

I have a fitbit that syncs with myfitnesspal so it adjusts my calorie needs to the amount of walking I do a day. I aim to do 10,000 steps a day. I didn't manage it today (I might still fit more in just pottering around) even though I was out this morning cos I have spent the afternoon on my arse.

Ok onto the embarrassment of revealing the measurements:-

Arms:- 34cm
Boobs:- 115cm
Waist:- 108cm
Hips:- 130cm
Thigh:- 70cm

My Long term aims:-

I want to be a size 12!
I want to be fit and toned (as toned as a lazy 41 year old can be lol)
I want to wear clothes other than joggers and hoodies.
I want to stop looking at the floor when walking down the street.
I want to be happy in myself :)

This weeks targets
I want to actually stay within my calories ALL WEEK! That is something that I just haven't managed to do at all recently.
I want to do exercise (other than dog walking) 3 times this week
I want to lose 4lb
 
Hey, first of all, try not to be angry with yourself for falling off the wagon. That won't help things. I give you a pat on the back for making time for the forum, even if you're busy. One of my favorite quotes is from Lao Tzu: "Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time' is like saying 'I don't want to'." What he meant was prioritizing; we'll always make time for that which helps us grow. Good job on your exercising, too! :)

As for your goal to stop looking at the ground when you walk down the street, why not start now? Next time you go out, walk with your chin held high and be confident for who you are now. That kind of attitude is what will really help you progress. Best wishes for your new endeavor!
 
Hello lovely!
Yes, you!
You are LOVELY Kate!
Never forget that!​
​
Stop Kate bashing or I'm going to have to come over & smack that fat arse. Ha ha ;) - just kidding!
Glad you're back again sweetie. I miss you too much when you're gone. My brain is not functioning as well as it should with this dreadful bug I have, so will pop back later. MWAH! xoxoxo Cate
PS Maybe I should get one of these Fitbit thingies. I have new hiking boots & have the urge to get moving & keeping track of my steps would be fun!
 
Monday 15th September 2014

Breakfast: 2 slices of nimble wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Wholemeal sandwich with ham, lettuce and light mayo and a bag of low cal crisps
Dinner: Chicken breast with now potatoes, carrots, broccoli and gravy
Snacks: snackajacks and granola bar.

Fitbit: 7412
Exercise: nothing!

Today has been a good day food wise. I had the day off and I always use that as a 'day off from dieting' too. Kinda like my weekends, they are usually a fail too!
Anyway, today I was determined to stay on track and I'm really chuffed that I managed it.

My day didn't go to plan in other ways though. I didn't get to walk the dog much so didn't reach my 10,000 steps and I spent all afternoon failing at making jam and chutney........none of it has bloody set!!!! Gggrrrrr. I was going to do a 30 min exercise dvd.
I go to an adult 'modern' dance class on a Tuesday so at least there is some exercise there.

Chmia
Thank you for stopping by :)
You are totally right about my 'I can't find time' excuse. I am out at least 3 nights a week but that is still no excuse, I find myself wanting to do something else like watch a series on my laptop so thank you for making me see that. And, I took your advice, I really made the effort to try and hold my head high today :)

Cate
Hello my lovely. You always manage to make me smile and today you made me laugh out loud!!! I know that you would smack my fat arse if you weren't on the other side of the world cos you know I deserve it ;)
I have missed you too but my 'head in the sand' has kept me away. I need to stop thinking that I have to be perfect on here and if I have a shitty day then I should still come on here. I haven't done that. As soon as I fall off the wagon I conveniently forget to post and the next thing I know it has been a week and so on.
I read on your diary that you've been really poorly :( hope you are feeling better. Big hugs :grouphug:
Ooooh, you should get a fitbit, they are so cool. I love mine. I got an email today saying that I have walked 750 miles since I got it!!! how cool is that?!
 
Hi sweetie. I'm glad I made you lol! ( I read that out to my LH.) Posting in my diary MAKES me be better. No hiding! I do not know one solitary perfect human being. I am far from it. I know that I need to keep going with my diary as I will always have to watch what I eat. I looked up fitbits yesterday & am considering getting one, but it worries me a little about wearing something that emits radiation. I started wearing my boots yesterday to break them in. I had them done up too tightly I think, but they should be good. It sounds lovely where you are. [I looked it up on Google once on street view. Ha ha- you didn't know I stalked you! ;) ]
So glad you're back in here sweetie.I have to go into town soon so had better skedaddle xoxoxo Cate
 
Tuesday 16th September 2014

Breakfast: 2 slices of nimble wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Chicken noodle soup, snackajacks and nectarine with yoghurt and granola
Dinner: Chicken breast and salad
Snacks: 3 rice cakes, granola bar, banana and a bag of chocolate buttons

Fitbit: 18,262!!
Exercise: 1 hour of 'modern dance'

Had another good food day :) Actually had a small bag of chocolate button but it was within my calorie allowance. I even have 410 left according to myfitnesspal!! I love that I can sync it with my fitbit as it gives me an accurate amount of calories :)
18,000+ steps today!! Busy busy girl.

Cate
I must make sure I get into the habit of posting every day. They say it takes 3 weeks to form a habit so I will make sure I at least promise myself i'll do that. Then I should be fine :eek:
I never knew about fitbits emitting radiation!! That's the first I've heard about it and I know so many people who us them.
It is lovely here. I don't think it is stalkerish (is that actually a word? I'm making it one lol) to check it out on Google. Tell me exactly where you are and i'll TRY and check it out (more like get Jack to show me lol)

Anyway, day three done and all going good :)

Xoxo
 
Hi Kate, Getting back into the habit of posting every day is a really good idea. It doesn't have to be in great detail. Re the Fitbits. I know my sister has a lot of trouble being near anything wireless, because of the EMR. I have Googled "do Fitbits emit radiation?" & there is a lot of conflicting info(as there always is.) I think I have read enough to make me think I won't get one, as there seems to be a lot of doubts. It's not conclusive though. I'm quite happy inputting my own info into MFP. Each to his own sweetie. I think it would be great fun to have one! I'll send you a pm on FB with my exact address, so you can get Jack to check out where I live, xoxo Cate
 
Wednesday 17th September 2014

Breakfast: 2 slices of nimble wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, low cal crisps and yoghurt with berries and granola
Dinner: Mugshot and snackajacks
Snacks: ricecake, 3 biscuits, sweets and a granola bar!!

Fitbit: 16,230
Exercise: Power walking and interval running.

I am really pleased with my day. I did eat sweets and biscuits but they were all within my calorie allowance. I could have gone mental with the sweets, trust me I really wanted to but only had 5 and counted them!!! I then figured if I wanted to have dinner I would have to do some exercise so I was like 'ok, i'll take Sky (dog) for run :) I even have 152 calories left!!!
I kept saying to myself that my aim this week was to stay within my calories every day this week and I didn't fail today. Actually a little bit proud.

Cate
Each to their own, like you said. As long as we are doing the exercise huh.
Jack is out tonight. he is representing the school at the open night. He is in his last year there now!! My baby is 15 now! :( but he shout be about tomorrow evening, i'll get him to show me then how to find ya :)
4 days of being a good girl and posting every day......that's more than half the week :)
Baby steps.
 
Friday 19th September 2014

Yesterday.

Breakfast: 2 slices of nimble wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Chilli chicken salad with a few potato square things
Dinner: 2 mugshots with 2 bags of snackajacks
Snacks: Granola bar and sweets

Fitbit: It wont tell me and I cant remember but I was allowed another 299 calories
Exercise: nothing

On a Thursday I go out to lunch with my best friend at work. Normally I have a chiabatta with whatever in it and it comes with tortilla chips and salad. Instead I had a chilli chicken salad :) but it came with the biggest hunk of fresh bread I've ever seen and the salad was covered in loads of deep fried bits of potato!!!! :eek: Ya know what I did????? I didn't touch the bread and I left most of the potato things :) Yay me. Also, I usually have a glass of wine with it but I had a diet coke :( rubbish huh!!!
I was dead proud of myself though.

Today.

Breakfast: 3 small slices of weight watchers toast with light spread and marmite
Lunch: Jacket potato, baked beans and salad
Dinner: A bowl of cereal and a mugshot
Snacks: Granola bar

Fitbit: 10397
Exercise: none

I woke up really hungry for some reason today and thought 'I'm going out shopping with mum, I know I am going to eat badly, I should just write the day off' But I got up and had one extra piece of toast (51 cals) and then was so good all day!!!! :) :) Again I am so so pleased with myself.

BUT.......Tomorrow night my scout leader is coming round and we are going to have some beers and organise/figure out a scout camp week. I know I said that my aim was to stick within my calories for a whole week but I am gonna fail about 3hrs before lol.
I will do my weigh in tomorrow morning as I am always bloated after beer but I know I can do this now. Slow and steady is the way I need to do this and for me the most important thing is posting on here regularly. :)

So, fingers crossed for my weigh in in the morning :eek:

P.S there was loads of biscuits at explorers and I was a total saint and didn't have any at all !!!!!!!
 
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Great job with everything you've done! It's so impressive that you're able to eat sweets without going overboard on your calories—I have very little control when it comes to candy and desserts. Keep it up and don't forget we're all rooting for you!
 
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