No seriously are you for real?

Cycling101

Cycling101

New member
Hi gang,

Maybe this should be in another thread location just had to vent real quickly. I took my son and daughter and my ex out to dinner for my daughters Birthday (happy Birthday Abby) and through out the whole evening I was picked on and teased for my weight LOSS and new eating habits. This is coming from a women that is 5"8 200lbs easy and I just sat there like a log. My son who lives with me said he was proud of me for losing 25 lbs in three months and stated I was more likely in the best shape of my life (kids are a gift) Is this some form of sick humor, or perhaps dealing with her own issues? I think it may have tainted what should have been a great birthday outing for my daughter. Anyone else deal with this? Being teased for actually taking care of ourselves?

:cuss:
 
I think that people tease about your weight loss for different reasons. One, they are mean people who want to see you fail. (might be this one for the ex) Two, they feel that if you fail then they would too, so therefor they shouldn't even try. (could be this one, too) Three, they don't realize how tough it is, so they don't think there is anything wrong with a little good nature kidding.

How old are the kids? Were they joining in on the teasing.

On a side note, I know that you are trying to keep things as normal for the kids as you can, since the split up is new. You might want to limit the socializing with the ex for a while. She might take that opportunity to try to push your buttons and all. Just my two cents.
 
Cycling101 said:
Hi gang,

Maybe this should be in another thread location just had to vent real quickly. I took my son and daughter and my ex out to dinner for my daughters Birthday (happy Birthday Abby) and through out the whole evening I was picked on and teased for my weight LOSS and new eating habits. This is coming from a women that is 5"8 200lbs easy and I just sat there like a log. <snippe>

:cuss:
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Who is this woman that was teasing you? Your daughter? Your son's GF? Or maybe it was your ex's new lover interest?????
 
She might just feel insecure. Or perhaps confused, because you are doing this now that you two are not together.

This is a frestrating thing for some ex's. The "why didn't you improve, in the relationship" thing. Bottom line if anyone has an issue with you improving yourself, then to bad.

Some people NEED you to stay in the place you were, so THEY can continue to feel secure about disishions they made. If you change, then they have to take a look at themselves.

I have experianced this with "friends" with regards to depreshion. While I was depresed, they were right there sopping up the gossip, etc. Now, they are no where to be found. My low point, made them feel better about themselves. I no longer have "friends" like that. It's too bad, there are people that feed off of that kind of stuff.

I'm sure that hurt, I hope she wasn't to hard on you. Maybe she was just feeling self counciouse. Like " gees he must think I'm fat, now that he "cares" about his weight". Woman are babies when it comes to self image, it doesn't take much to make us question if we "look good" it doesnt' matter if we thought we looked good 5 mins ago:eek:.... Even so, she didn't handle herself well. Just be proud of yourself your doing a great job!
 
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thanks guys/gals, needed that positive reinforcement. It was my ex-wife saying those things, my kids, were actually quite protective, I just think it was just a sad thing to bash a person in front of kids, even more so on a day that we should have been enjoying and focusing on the Birthday Girl. I mean is that normal? It just really took everyone off guard, especially my oldest child, he had the wtf look on his face. Oh well, just gonna let it go, hell I only got about 5-10 lbs to go for my 6-pack plan, she can bash me all she wants...
 
It looks like she needs to be reminded of rule number one.. No cutting down the other parent no matter what!

As for your daughter, I'm sure all she will remember of her b day in the future is that mommy and daddy took her out, even though they aren't together because they both love her very much. She will learn that leason, not the other. Kids tend to remember things in a positive light. Which is so great since us grown ups aren't perfect.

Happy b day to your baby.. They grow up soooo fast!
 
and just a side note, after seeing the pitures in the sigs, I have come to realize that you are all quite attractive people, even the guys although that is not my thing. I thought a year since the divorce was enough time to be able to have a simple dinner outing for a childs Birthday. I guess not, actually the really funny part was at the end of the evening, I suggested I was going to take the kids to the Narnia movie on the 16th of May, and she (my ex) invited herself, am I missing something, lol. Thanks again everyone.
 
What she really said was "I can't believe how good you look and that I'm still overweight". Chalk it up to jealousy.

In my experience that isn't all that unusual. I lost 72 lbs in 5 months, the transformation was quick, I shed 50 of it in the first two months so visually it was drastic. I soon found out the same people who jabbed at me for being fat eventually started jabbing at me for being "scrawny". I just laugh and shrug it off because I know they envy me and my ability so drop the pounds like a Biggest Loser. The irony is the lady who called me scrawny only knows how to starve herself as a way to stay somewhat thin and her idea of eating healthy is pounding down a huge bag of sunflower seeds during the day and eating a tiny cup of whatever Nutrisystems gunk she overpaid for as lunch. The important thing is I know I'm not scrawny and that I am in the best shape of my life. You should be proud.
 
Cycling101 said:
thanks guys/gals, needed that positive reinforcement. It was my ex-wife saying those things, my kids, were actually quite protective, I just think it was just a sad thing to bash a person in front of kids, even more so on a day that we should have been enjoying and focusing on the Birthday Girl. I mean is that normal? It just really took everyone off guard, especially my oldest child, he had the wtf look on his face. Oh well, just gonna let it go, hell I only got about 5-10 lbs to go for my 6-pack plan, she can bash me all she wants...
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Ahhh....now I know why I was confused. For some reason I was trying to make you a woman. :)
 
Ok now what is really ironic is I had a similar experiance today! It was not in front of my kids though, it was in front of my mother in law. My h and I have been seperated for the last 1 1/2 years, I honestly don't know why we haven't just filed allready. My MIL had to go to the doctors today, and I wanted to be there for her. So I joined her and also my h. (kids were at school).

Now my h and I see eachother once and awhile, and talk on the phone, we're close, but we will allways be we were very young when we got together, so I don't have to worry about him bashing me to the kids ever and visa versa. BUT, all day today I swear he was insulting me constantly of course "jokeing", but it made we want to just cry! I gave him several true nice compliments, I'm just like that. But he picked at me, and really honestly made it look like we aren't even friends in front of his mom. It was like we were brother and sister, with the put downs with no regard to my feelings.. And he was talking about his live in girlfriend in front of me and his mother, as if I was invisible.

I'm really disapointed in him. The last 6 years have been pure hell, and I've grown soooo darn much as a person, and I'm still continueing to do so. But treat me nice, complement me, refrain from cutting me down and in front of his mom! I felt really stupid!

Why oh why is it so hard to be nice, and careing...

And what happened to "if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all!". I'm over it! This day made a stain on me that just won't wash off! If this is happening allready what is going to happen when my new business indever takes off, and I drop more and more weight. Gees me have confidence in myself, THIS is NOT allowed!!!:puke:

Ok, well at least I choose not to live MY life like that!:rant:
 
Hope2, sorry you had to go through that today. I mean lets step back a minute and look at it from an outsiders view. You went to be supportive of your hubby's mother ( very nice in the first place ), just to get put down and teased for whatever reason. Are people really this bitter and mad at the world? Just reading your post, made me squirm in my chair. I truly am sorry that you were in the difficult situation.

He may have been trying to convince himself and his mother that he has moved on (odd statement married, yet he has a live in girl) but in reality maybe he hasn't. Sometimes we push people away when we really want them to be closer to us. Either way wasn't the right time or place to do that. For me personally, I don't think there is ever a "good" time to make someone else feel bad. Your statement about if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it was right on key. I grew up with my parents telling me that on a regular basis.

Looks like your handling it quite well, with your chin up, good for you. Thank you for sharing that story, I appreciate it. Rep for your thoughts, ty again.

Kevin
 
Cycling101 said:
through out the whole evening I was picked on and teased for my weight LOSS and new eating habits. This is coming from a women that is 5"8 200lbs easy and I just sat there like a log.
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Jealousy, perhaps? You accomplished something she's not even close to yet.
 
JEALOUSY! Pure and simple...she wants to be thinner, you are thinner. Def not a very nice or mature thing to do but never mid, you are taking care of yourself and obviously your kids appreciate this. That's the most important thing - your kids are proud of you :D:D:D:D

Congrats on the 25lbs!
 
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