Night's Diary

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nightkinglover

New member
A little background: I am 20 years old, 4'10", and weigh 125. I want to get down to 100 pounds. I was really skinny until age 9 or so, and then I just plumped up. I weighed about 160 in high school. Going to college and being able to choose what I ate (since in the dining hall the reliable options were soup and salad) really helped me lose. I got down to about 115 because of the gym. I was SO happy, going from a size 14 at my worst (and having to cut off the ends of my pants they were so long) down to looking nice in a size 5 was good. I started dating a sorta heavy guy back in October, and it's taken conscious effort to only have gained 10 pounds while with him. We eat out A LOT, and the food we do have in the house is usually processed to all heck. He's a big eater (not gaining, just maintaining) but he expects me to keep up with his calorie intake. The other night, at 2am, he made me share a bagel with him that had full-fat cream cheese and several ounces of cheddar melted on it.

I've been feeling really negative about the way I fit into my clothes. I especially don't like my thighs and calves, they're so fat and bulge out of the shorts and capris that I like to wear. I guess I want to use this diary as a place to record what I eat, how much I'm losing, and maybe get some tips on controlling what I eat when we go out.

I'm tired of the boyfriend always drooling over other women and that little look I see when he looks at me that shows he's disappointed in my weight. He's very supportive and always tells me I don't need to lose, but I'm chunky and my BMI agrees with me.

So, I guess, Hi, I'm new here!
 
Today I've eaten so far:

A twin pack of swiss cake rolls at 270 calories, but man is it rich and amazing
A bagel with cheddar, ham, and turkey, that rolls in around 575 or so calories I think according to FitDay. I'm planning to have dinner a bit later, and then probably some ice cream later tonight, we'll see. I might have 2 dinners instead though, since we're going to a concert. FitDay has calculated my calories burned per day doing nothing but normal going about my day as 2005. I'm hoping to stay under that number, but I doubt I can since I'll be eating out at least once. I'll update later with what I ate, but I'd like to maybe get some feedback.

Edit: After work, we went to eat. I ate a spinach artichoke dip (semi healthy, I think, but tons of calories). At the concert, I drank a Miller Lite, and then when we got home I had a Red Baron mini-pizza and 3/4 cup cookie dough ice cream. This is like a typical day, I think. I know I don't get enough fruits and veggies.
 
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I'm feeling good today. I put on a dress I bought and I think I look really good in it. I'm going to the club tonight, so I'll be dancing and hopefully burning a lot of calories. I need to remember myself with the booze though, since I'm pretty sure vodka is fairly caloric and cutting it with juice only helps a little.
 
Hi Nightkinglover. Congrats on making the decision to get in shape. One thing concerned me about your post, though. You said your BF is "very supportive" of you, but at the same time you mentioned that the other night he "made you" eat half a bagel. Getting into shape is hard enough, without the proper support system it's that much harder to stay on track. Maybe you need to stand up to him when he tries to get you to eat, and just say no. At the same time, let him know that you NEED him behind you, not sabatoging your efforts.

I wish you the best of luck. Hope to see you around, and watch your progress. :grouphug:
 
Thanks for the good wishes, I will try to hang around here as y'all seem to be pretty awesome. You're right, my boyfriend in words is supportive of me but his actions don't really reflect that. Good catch. I will have to keep an eye on that and let you know how that works out.
 
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