Nia is going to do it this time!

Bikini Bound

New member
I have struggled with my weight all my life. It wasn't that I was grossly overweight I have just never been comfortable with my body. I have never had a problem losing the weight once I committed, but the commitment usually doesn't last long. After 2 months max, I lose the will. What usually happens is that I get so "tired" of tracking what I eat, I just desire to go back to the "carefree" way of eating. And that carefree way has not gotten me anywhere.

The highest weight that I can recall was the 180s (and I am a little shy of 5'4"). I got to my lowest weight that I can ever recall last April (155). I was just thrilled to be in the 160s so the 150s was amazing. Around the time I got to my lowest weight (this was last year), I lost my job so I stopped going to the gym. It was also still pretty cold outside so I couldn't (excuses) do my exercises outside like usual.

Well I'm back. The same time of year I usually try to get this thing started off the ground. And I am so sick and tired of starting over. What usually happens is that I try to get fit for summer, and then I quit accepting I won't get to my goal in time, and I take a break. Then I try to resume at the end of the summer trying to get my best body for the fall (because I love fall fashion the best).

Right now, I am not trying to get fit for summer. I want to change my lifestyle period. Of course I am aiming to be bikini ready because I am going to the beach at the end of July but I want to continue to make exercising a permanent part of my life and watching what I eat.

Tuesday will mark my second week of my lifestyle change. So far, so good. Failure is not an option this time (sorry for all the cliche's :) ) I lost 3.8 lbs my first week. I have been working out like crazy and monitoring my carb intake. I don't want to drastically cut carbs, but just maintain a reasonable level that I can keep up with even after I reach my goal.

I'm happy for this forum to have an outlet to express myself. It will definitely help being able to put these thoughts down. I will be posting frequently (if not daily) keeping track of what I am doing. Forcing myself to journal will encourage me to be more accountable. I cannot wait to discover the body hidden underneath all this fat.

My ticker is already in my sig but I'm going to post my stats in my first journal post:

SW: 167.4
CW: 163.6
GW: 130
 
I had a very productive workout on Friday. I didn't dread the workout as much as I thought I would and it was great working out with a nearly empty gym. I did an hour of cardio plus my circuit training.

Saturday was a day of mixed emotions. My calorie intake was very low (less than 700 by the time I got to the gym with my breakfast and lunch already accounted for). After doing my circuit training plus about 25 minutes of cardio I tapped out. I went to grab a light snack hoping the rest and calories would give me extra energy. I checked into my diet calendar and saw that my calorie deficit for the day would be pretty high even if I didn't finish my workout. I debated on whether to continue my cardio not wanting to break my rule of finishing my planned workouts by any means necessary. But I decided to just go home.

I beat myself over it even though I probably shouldn't have. I met my goals for the day in terms of calorie deficit but hated the fact that I had not finished my workout. Anyway, I decided to get over it and enjoy the rest. I ended up not eating my planned dinner and got hungry around 10 p.m. I decided to make a couple of pancakes something I strongly resisted against. I made 2, measuring out two servings of mix and a serving of syrup and had a glass of milk.

After all was said and done I am not feeling too much guilt. I didn't go over my calorie limit for the day and consumed a reasonable amount of carbs (not as low as I had planned and hoped, but still not too many to throw me off track).

Today I am "treating" myself to bread for the first time in 13 days. I will still meet me carb goals so I am going to enjoy it (or try to haha). Because I had only planned on doing cardio today I decided to go for a jog at the lake near my house so that I can enjoy the warm weather. I actually looked forward to enjoying the hot tub at the gym this weekend so I may go in later for a light workout later on.

My goal is to be very productive today and prep some meals for the week. I'm nervous about my second week weigh-in on Tuesday so I am going to prepare myself mentally in case of a setback.
 
Had a great workout. Walked (speed walked) 7 miles this afternoon. Had some refreshing lemon lime sparkling water when i finished. Having a slimfast shake for lunch but I'm waiting until my appetite comes back to drink it. Resting for a bit until this evening to finish some food prep for the week.

I am feeling so amazing. Since I've adapted a healthier lifestyle everything else seems to be falling into place. I'm more motivated with everything, in a better mood, more organized and just happier in general. I look forward to the next day because I know I will be one day closer to my goal.

I'm not stressing as much about my Tuesday weigh-in. I know I did great this week despite what the scale says. And I also calculated that I only need to lose 1.65 lbs a week in order to get to my goal weight by my vacation. So even if I don't see a big drop like my first week, I know I have plenty of time to complete my goal.

My workout schedule is at work so I am crossing my fingers that there is no circuit training scheduled for tomorrow haha. I planned my meals tomorrow which will be scrambled eggs and turkey sausage for b'fast, parmesan chicken tenders and spinach for lunch, cottage cheese and pineapples for a pre-workout snack and a slimfast for dinner.
 
I'm afraid I am not consuming enough calories and I don't want it to affect my progress. I only eat when I'm hungry and sometimes it isn't enough. I usually average about 1200 calories but two days this week, including today, I've stayed under 800. I guess I'll see how my weight is affected on Tuesday when I weigh-in. OTH, I am glad that I'm not over consuming on the weekends which was concern.
 
Just wanted to leave a quick note and encourage you to keep going how you're going. I think you're doing really well, all things considered, and you're working out your limitations (in terms of how much you can eat or skip eating without feeling hungry) and learning from it- that's really important.

I personally wouldn't go below 1200 calories (at least for me, I never feel well when I do, and my wellbeing is really important for keeping me on track), but this weight loss thing is all an averages game, really. I wouldn't make a habit of it, but if you dip below some days it's not the end of the world.

Good luck to you!
 
Thank you for your input! I agree about the averages and that is what I have been doing this second week. I averaged my carbs, calories and fat my first week and I made those averages my threshold for this week. So if I go over and under one day I can make it up the next day. I try to get to 1200 calories but some days I can't push myself to eat more (I know it's all mental though). Today is the last day of the second week and my calorie average (if I eat everything according to plan today) will be about 1150. I'll make some adjustments next week depending on how my weigh-in goes tomorrow.
 
Last night I found myself a little antsy because I could not wait for Monday to get here. Who actually anticipates a Monday? I do when I know each day brings me closer to my goal.

Today is my "easy" day because my cardio session is shortened due to circuit training. I am going to add three lower body exercises to my circuit training that I enjoy doing and also some ab exercises. I am going to try planking today-yikes!! For cardio I am going to do HIT on the elliptical-type machine. If I am up to it I will do some running on the treadmill. I saw a cool workout on the treadmill I wanted to try that increases the speed and I want to see if I can keep up with it.

Still agonizing over my weigh-in tomorrow but this is the last time I am going to think about it. I can't do anything to change what I will weight tomorrow and I know I have kicked butt this week regardless. So whatever the scale says, I earned. I am desperate to move that ticker though haha
 
Did my averages this week and I did better than last week.

First week daily averages:
Carbs- 117g
Calories-1372
Fat-60g
Exercise Calories Burned (estimate)- 2468

This week:
Carbs- 88.85g
Cals- 1120
Fat- 55g
Exercise- 2396

Not sure what adjustments to make this week. Depending on what my weight is tomorrow. I found it pretty easy this week but I may treat myself to more carbs next week. I want my average to stay under 100g so that means I will have to do a good balance of very low carb and moderately high days.
 
I made my trainer very upset yesterday when I told her how little I have been eaten. She was appalled that I was consuming 1200 calories or less and demanded that I increase my calories to 1600/day because I work out so much. She also told me to stop being afraid of carbs. So, begrudgingly, I will follow her instructions for this week.

It all worked out pretty good because my weigh-in is today and is the start of my third week. So I will see how I will fare this week compared to last week when I get my breakdown next Tuesday. I am hoping that she proves herself right because I would love to be able to consume 1600 calories a day and "get away with it." Tomorrow I am going to bring in my food diary so that she can review it and give me some feedback.

We had a great discussion about nutrition and I felt better about giving myself a break. Since my food diary showed that I would max out at 1100 calories yesterday, I decided not to do the additional 30 minutes of cardio I had planned- it would have been pointless since I had ate so little; my calorie deficit was still about 1,000.

So as I entered my food into my diary I panicked as the carb count crept up. I decided to relax and not worry too much about it. For this week I am aiming to stay between 100-150 carbs a day. That average would allow me to have more variety in my diet and it really isn't significantly higher than my first week average when I lost almost 4 lbs.

So for breakfast I am having honey bunches of oats cereal and milk. Two sausage links for breakfast 2.0. Lunch is spaghetti made with whole wheat pasta and sauce with italian sausage and parmesan, with a side of spinach. Pre-workout snack is peanut butter and honey on toasted whole wheat bread and a nature valley peanut butter and oat bar for dinner. It was hard to get myself close to 1600 without adding more carbs so I added some protein for breakfast.

I am looking forward to my weigh-in. I weighed myself after my workout on the scale in the locker room and I was down. That scale is usually 3 lbs higher than my reading on the Tanitra so my guess is I will weigh about 161. Not bad.

But most importantly, I can SEE my progress. I am wearing a shirt that I bought last fall that fit me fine when I bought it (I actually had to go down a size when I bought it). In the past few months when I tried to wear it the shirt was sooooooooo tight it made me feel awful. Now I am wearing it today and it is comfortable and loose :hurray:
 
Keep going on the nice work. I think your trainer is right, personally. A few more calories won't hurt you, nor will the carbs. If you're truly worried about the carbs, you can have string cheese as a snack to add some calories without any carbs.
 
I did my weigh-in yesterday- down 1.2 :cuss: I was not happy at all. I feared hitting my second week plateau and that my lack of eating would stall things a bit. I'm not sure if my TOM affected my reading as well. I felt so defeated. I did not feel like working out. I didn't see the point when I knew the extra cardio wouldn't make a difference since I was severely under nourished. So I went home and treated myself to Mike and Ikes...the entire box. :reddevil:

Eventually I got my attitude together and accepted that this is part of the process. Weight loss is a journey and I understand that I may have to fine tune some things along the way to get the results I want. I can't expect to get the body I want by doing what I WANT to do.

So I have accepted my trainer's advice and I am going to eat more and boy am I going to enjoy that today. For breakfast I am having oatmeal with sliced apples, granola, cinnamon and milk. For lunch, a Chipotle burrito bol with all of my favorite fixings (yes, including cheese and sour cream). For dinner I am having a Slim-Fast shake and I have a protein bar just in case I get hungry anytime throughout the day. Not including the protein shake, my total calories are slightly above 1400- a good start. I may need to eat that protein bar after all.

My workout routine today is 30 minutes of HIT on the elliptical and about a half hour of circuit training.

Funny that on a day where I am allowing myself to really eat, my diet is more balanced than ever.
 
Keep going on the nice work. I think your trainer is right, personally. A few more calories won't hurt you, nor will the carbs. If you're truly worried about the carbs, you can have string cheese as a snack to add some calories without any carbs.

I'm aiming for 1600 calories on workout days and 1200 on non-workout days. I'll see where I am at next weigh-in and determine if I need to make adjustments.
 
Hi Bikini! I enjoyed reading your posts. Did your trainer tell you why you should not be afraid of carbs? I for one am terrified of them, keeping mine as low as possible daily (between 5-10g). I look forward to following your progress and getting to know you!
 
I haven't been here in months- I hope you guys don't think I gave up. Actually, I've been using another forum but I wanted to report back on my progress. I am down to 148.5. I have never in my adult life (that I remember) have been in the 140s. When I started on this forum in 2008 I weighed 183 and I was just trying to get to the 160s and I would be happy. Since then it has been a lot of yo-yo dieting and pretend lifestyle changes. But I've stuck with it this time and the results paid off. I still have some ways to go but I am taking it 5 lbs at a time.
 
Hi Bikini! I enjoyed reading your posts. Did your trainer tell you why you should not be afraid of carbs? I for one am terrified of them, keeping mine as low as possible daily (between 5-10g). I look forward to following your progress and getting to know you!

Sorry for my late reply, but my advice is to not be afraid of carbs. Whenever I get back on track to lose weight I want to start off like the hare instead of the tortoise so I try to do low carb to jumpstart the weight loss and to give me motivation. That last for all of a few days.

My success has come from portion control more than anything. I try to eat clean as possible but it gets boring having chicken breast and fish all the time and I'm not that great of a cook. So when I can't eat those foods and don't take the time to prep; I make sensible, healthy choices.

You have to do what you can stick with, not what will be the most effective because that is the key to success. I've found a method that doesn't feel restrictive. I don't have to limit or eliminate any specific kind of foods, just limit the quantity. Also, I have found that eating healthy foods will let everything fall into place. I don't keep track of carbs but I will look at my totals on my food diary and my intake is usually very moderate. I don't eat a lot of bread intentionally but I will not shy away from small portions of pasta.
 
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