Newbie needs help! Feeling really down.

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esmy27

New member
Hello,

I'm glad to have found this place. Let me say that I have struggled with weight loss as a young woman in my early 20s. I had a bout with anorexia and bulimia. It's really hard to say this, I never speak of this. But with the love and perseverance of my family I overcame it within a year and a half.

The reason I am here now is that 10 years have passed and I have had 2 babies now. My youngest is now almost 2. I feel my body has drastically changed since having him. Plus, I am now a stay at home mom and don't get to go out much and move around. I am just about 20 pounds over my ideal weight. It might not sound like much to others, but to me it really hurts. I have a very small frame and 5 lbs makes a big difference.

My husband is very kind and tells me that he loves me and that i look beautiful all the time. (In fact it was him who made a big impact in my confidence when I was overcoming my anorexia-bulimia, I feel he did alot for my self confidence and let me become healthy again with his reasurrance)

However, now after being married almost 8 years, I look in the mirror and don't like what I see. I feel I self medicate with alcohol. My love life is almost non-existant with my husband. He doesn't pursue me. If anything happens between us, it's because I initiate and like I said, I have to drink to get the courage. I feel so fat and ugly, my husband rather sleep than be with me.

I'm sorry I know this alot for an introduction. I just feel so bad right now, I can't stop crying.

I've heard of weight watchers and other programs and don't know what to do. In the past I would just starve. But I can't do that now. I cook for my family and take care of my 7 year old daughter and my almost 2 year old son (who is going thru the terrible two's). I have no one to babysit for me to go the gym (which I have a membership too).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Esmeralda
 
whether you have 2 pounds to lose or 200 pounds, it's still a challenge and you still deserve support... and you are welcome here... I'm glad you found your way in the door.

Have you had a long serious discussion with your husband on the state of your relationship? Youdon't need to answer that question anywhere but in your head... but sounds like you both need couples counselling, I seriously doubt it's your actual weight that's holding him back... but maybe fear of hurting you or something else... talking about your feelings about it will be the only way to resolve it... Don't accuse of anything.. just tell him how you feel that you havent been intimate in xxx times... maybe he's got a lot on hismind at work.. there couldbe 1000s of reasons ... none of which is your weight.

Does your gym have a nursery or baby sitting service? Are you friendly with any other moms around.. maybe have them watch your children one day a week while you go take care of stuff for you.. and you return the favor....

Starving isn't an option... that's not good for your body, for your psyche, or for your impressionable daughter to see... you want to use healthy eating habits and portion control... it would benefit the entire family....
 
Thank you all. I think I was feeling overwhelmed last night and just let my emotions get the best of me.

I am glad I found this place though and will be checking in often.

The gym that I belong to does have a babysitting service. I have tried it 6 x's each time they call me over the loud speaker to get my son because he won't stop crying. :( I have tried staying with him a little bit, leaving right away, etc... nothing works. The babysitting service has a policy if the kids keep crying after 15 mins they must go home. My son has only been with me since birth. I became a stay at home mom when he was born, so he is really, really attached to me. I spent $250 on a gym membership for a year and half of the year is gone already without me being able to use it.

I'm going to have to find a way to workout at home. I hope to meet others like myself here.

Thnks again,

esmeralda
 
Hello Esmeralda.

I'll start by saying welcome, and these guys are great and have made me feel fantastic in that I am not alone.
 
you have already had difficulties with anorexia and bulemia, but you beat them! that is an accomplishment in itself. so now you need to look at this as just another difficulty that you will overcome. you will succeed!
 
Thanks Danielle,

Your right! It was hard beating my eating disorders, but I did it. I can do this too.:)

Esmeralda
 
i too am a stay at home mom with a 3 yr old and a 9 month old. I really didnt want to spend $$$ on a gym, so I do workout tapes at home. Denise Austin and Tae-Bo mostly. Its nice to leave the house, but you don't have to. Welcome and YOU CAN DO IT !!!!!
 
Hey esmy. i hope that coming on here and being able to talk about what you are feeling goes along way towards helping you. That's the first step. You are strong, look what you've overcome. Try to work on believing what your husband says, trust him, and explain how you feel honestly, and let him know you want his support 100%. He possibly doesnt pursue you, because he doesnt want to pressure you. Your relationship with him is the most important one. I dont know you, but from what you've said, he obviously loves you very much. Believe in that love, and in yourself. Work this out together. And keep posting here, you can do this.
 
Welcome here!

I do workout tapes at home too...I have a 4year old and a baby. I also love to take them for walks. We can't go that fast because of the 4yr old, but we go every day, and it does help.

I do Weight Watchers...I find I am never going hungry, and am not on a diet. It is just helping me to make better food choices.:)
 
Esmeralda
you are in the right place you will find alot of support here
i got to TOPS

you may find a local one for your area or hey you can start one up
we will be here for you if you need us
 
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