Newbie needing to introduce myself and my new journey.

A

amadbullfrog

New member
Hi all. I am Rufus. I have just started my new way of eating and today is the start of week 2. I am trying to keep all calories under 1200-1500 as I was eating over 3000 a day. My exercise is nill at the moment as I cannot physically do it, but plan to as soon as my body will allow.

Please let me tell you a bit about me and what brings me here. I am 42. 43 next month. I am 5'11" and weighed 429 the last time I weighed which was two to three months ago, maybe more. As I said above, I generally would eat over 3000 cal a day, EASY and sometimes up to 5000. I have been big all my life but now it is a must to lose. Four years ago I was 347 and stopped smoking after a 26 year habit. Since that time I gained over 80lbs. I am married and have 4 kids.

At the beginning of this year I saw so many things on TV about New Years resolutions and such. It made be both think and reflect. Who am I? Who do I want to be or leave this Earth being known as? Am I happy? Why have I let myself get to this point and where do I go from here? I still am not sure who I am. I know I have always been the fat, happy go lucky, funny guy, but that, honestly, has always been a cover for how insignificant I feel inside. I want to be noticed sometimes. I want to be more than the "fat, happy go lucky, funny guy". I am not happy. I am full of self doubt and loathing at times and mostly all due to my weight and how I see myself. And I feel I only have one place to go from here and that is UP.

So, I thought about this for days and days and decided to talk to the wife and tell her that I was going to start "dieting" on the 18th. My wife thought that this was great and she would do it with me. (she is overweight a bit but not obese). I explained that I wanted to just keep my calories down and however that happened, great. We went to the store and bought all fresh fruits and veggies and planned our dinners and bought Slim Fast mix for breakfast and lunch. While I am here, Slim Fast claims to curb your hunger, for me, this B.S.. I was just as hungry as ever but stuck to it regardless. After day 3, I ate a 200 calorie breakfast and 200 calorie lunch and felt so much better and knew I could make the week. I had no scale to weigh myself as our last one broke and I started my search for a new one that would measure over 400lbs since I was just sure, I was close to 500 now. Well, I found one on Amazon and it arrived Saturday. I took it from it's packing box and stared at it for a long time. I would no even take the scale out as now I would have to truly face facts about how truly far I had let myself go. I was TERRIFIED to see something like 480 or 492 etc. I let it sit there, unopened the rest of the day. Night fell and I took it out and installed the batteries and bit the bullet. I stepped on the scale and saw the read out and nearly flipped! I took my weight 4 times just to be absolutely sure it was accurate. Every single time it was 391.8. I was so happy I was under 400, I did not know what to do. My wife took her weight and she too was down 13 lbs. Now, I have no clue how much I weighed the previous week, but I will take what I can get and that will be my start weight now. Since the weigh in, I have been happy. Here is results. My pants are a size too big already and I'm loving it. I know all this will slow shortly, but I am drinking it all in while I can. Next weigh in is Sunday the 1st. Keeping my fingers crossed.

If anyone else reading this is morbidly obese, feel free to message me as I would love to support each other on our journey's.
R
 
Hi Rufus & welcome to the forum. I am so glad you made this decision & am happy to support you along the way. Your pants being too big already is a wonderful start. I just read out to paragraph about the scales to my husband. To think that you thought you were maybe 100lbs more than you are! :eek: Once again, you're off to a good start.
So many of us have been that fat, happy-go-lucky guy/girl who was hiding how we felt inside. We have way more in common with another than some would think. You will find a really good support team here Rufus & and are very welcome. Cheers, Cate.
 
Welcome Rufus and congratulations on a marvelous start! You most definitely have everything to fight for and the support of a partner helps a lot, but I still salute you for taking your fate into your own hands and making the changes. Good luck on your journey, you´ll have a decent cheer squad here :)

LaMa
 
Congrats Rufus on the successful start. If hunger is still an issue you might want to add in a few more healthy snacks into your day and make your target calories closer to 2000. At your current size you're very likely to be burning off over 3000 a day.
You might also want to check out MrVee's diary (including his early posts) has a great overview of someone who started out in the same ballpark and who worked a great plan to get where he is today.
http://weight-loss.fitness.com/thre...n-i-apparently-picked-up-along-the-way.55858/

Good luck, we'll be cheering for you
 
Thank you guys so very much. It is certainly a hard road to hoe but I am in it for the long haul. I actually felt quite a bit better yesterday just being able to write it down and share. I am quite sure there will be more to come. R
 
K&D's suggestion is a very good one. Mr Vee is an inspiration. His diary is very well worth reading. Sharing is good. It really helps clarify things in your head & makes you feel more accountable. Once you know that you have friends on your team supporting you it does not feel quite so hard.
 
I have written to him and I have read over half the diary. Some of that is truly inspirational. I so wish the old photos did not drop off as I was looking forward to seeing them as well. lol. R
 
amadbullfrog said:
At the beginning of this year I saw so many things on TV about New Years resolutions and such. It made be both think and reflect. Who am I? Who do I want to be or leave this Earth being known as? Am I happy? Why have I let myself get to this point and where do I go from here? I still am not sure who I am. I know I have always been the fat, happy go lucky, funny guy, but that, honestly, has always been a cover for how insignificant I feel inside. I want to be noticed sometimes. I want to be more than the "fat, happy go lucky, funny guy". I am not happy. I am full of self doubt and loathing at times and mostly all due to my weight and how I see myself. And I feel I only have one place to go from here and that is UP.
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I know how you feel. For most of my adult life I've been overweight and, at the same time, I've been known as, what I like to call, the FFF (Funny Fat Fuck). It sucks to be "that" guy. It makes you feel like your weight is amusement for others and, even though you know it's not true, you begin to feel like people only like you because you're fat. It's depressing. Sadly, it almost makes you happy at the same time too. Even though you think people look at you like a clown (a fat clown at that), you still think to yourself, "Hey...at least they like my company." And, with that, I think the ones like us fall into a weird spiral where we don't want to be the FFF, but we keep ourselves heavy because that's all we know ourselves to be...the FFF.

So, it's a HUGE first step for you just by coming to terms with the reality that you no longer want to be "that" guy. You want to be MORE than that, and that's amazing. It took me a long, long time to feel that way but, once I found my inner motivation to become more than a heavy laugh-maker, I started to find other things - self respect, dignity, pride, passion, etc.

Good luck to you, my friend. It's a long journey, but we're all here for the long run, so don't think you're going at it alone.
 
Thank you Chef. I am finding that this feed is doing wonders for me. I am glad to know that others share in my plight, pain, shame and emotions. I think this journey will open my eyes to so much more the further along I get, but I am positive so far that I no longer wish to be, as you put it, the FFF. Not sure who I am without being the FFF but that is part of the intriguing part with this. That is also the part that scares me as I know no other way than being the FFF too. R
 
amadbullfrog said:
I think this journey will open my eyes to so much more the further along I get
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& I'm sure it will too Rufus. I know it did me. It can be a little scary along the way. I used to type stuff, re-read it, edit, delete etc & my diary helped me clarify what I did want out of my life, who I was & who I want to be. Basically, I am still exactly the same person deep down inside that I have always been, but now I'm not afraid to let others see the real me. I have learned to like the real me.
Feel free to share your doubts with us or your thoughts, along with the joys. I have never got anything back except support & some lovely friendships.
 
Welcome, Rufus! You're off to a great start! I look forward to following your journey. Also, I agree about the Slim Fast.... curbs hunger... psshhh.... yeah right! Maybe for like 10 seconds. lol! I do actually like the strawberry ones though. :)

Anyways, you've found a great forum. Lots of wonderful and supportive people here. :)
 
Hi, my journey not quite as big as yours, but I'm 43, 44 next month, I guess being about the same age made me want to post, I've lost 11lbs, have another 59lbs to go and, that quite frankly scares the hell out me! So if you're looking for friends ( trys not to sound needy!) to talk weight loss battles I'm about! Will start my own diary soon
 
Well, weigh in was Sunday. 387.4. Ugh. I was expecting at least 5 lbs. so I was a bit disappointed, however, a loss is a loss and I am HAPPY with that. Just wish it had been a bit more. Today, spirits are better, hoping for a better weigh in this week. Thank you all for your words of encouragement and help. I have had a hard week last week with the desire to "just have a bit of this/that as it will not matter much", but I resisted. Sometimes I have to equate this to stopping smoking after 26 years. (hardest thing I ever did) and just tell myself that I do not want to start over counting the day I decided to change my life. I welcome all comments, criticisms, etc. I learn from you all and thank you again. Jen, the strawberry are good, but they sure do not curb hunger for pffft...
 
4.4 lbs lost in a week is still something to be celebrated, congratulations :party: Especially since it wasn´t the real beginning of your journey; you´d probably shifted most of the water weight already. Little pickers wear big knickers - or so someone told me - a bite here and a little taste there can easily lead to a real slip-up and frustration so great work resisting!
 
amadbullfrog said:
My pants are a size too big already and I'm loving it. I know all this will slow shortly, but I am drinking it all in while I can.
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4.4lbs is good :) Some weeks you will lose some, some lots, some none. So long as you persevere & be strong the scales will trend down. Well done!!
 
Well, Sunday came and went. Another 2.2lbs so I am down to 385.2. Woo Hoo. I'll take it. I have decided not to focus on wanting to lose 10+lbs a week anymore, and I will be happy for any loss as long as it is a loss. My first goal is 347 which was my weight the day I stopped smoking almost 4 years ago, so, I hope it does not take months to hit, but if it does, that'll be ok too.
 
amadbullfrog said:
Well, Sunday came and went. Another 2.2lbs so I am down to 385.2. Woo Hoo. I'll take it. I have decided not to focus on wanting to lose 10+lbs a week anymore, and I will be happy for any loss as long as it is a loss. My first goal is 347 which was my weight the day I stopped smoking almost 4 years ago, so, I hope it does not take months to hit, but if it does, that'll be ok too.
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That's a really good attitude to have, especially in the beginning.

I've been through quite a few attempts at losing weight, some successful and some not, and one of the things I learned about myself is if I set my goals/expectations too high then I will undoubtedly fail. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I will undoubtedly fail at some point.

My first few attempts at losing weight went pretty well. I managed to lose weight, fairly quickly too, but I always managed to gain back most of what I had lost. I succeeded by losing the weight but I failed by allowing myself to put it back on. At first, I attributed my failures to my eating and drinking habits and nothing more. I told myself, "It's because I ate and drank and got fat again." But, after a few years (and a few failures along with it), I learned that was not the case. The truth is I pushed myself too hard, I expected too much out of myself and I set my goals too high.

I used to come out of the gate screaming, so to speak. The first couple of weeks into my weight loss journey I would eat a super strict diet, go to the gym five days a week, run until my body felt like giving out on me and exert 100% of my energy into being as perfect as I could possibly be. And, without fail, I would always - ALWAYS - crash and burn within just a few weeks. Sure, I might have lost 15 or 20 lbs in three or four weeks if I did that, but I would always burn myself out and quit. Then, I would gain back the weight I had lost before I realized what was happening. Without fail, that would happen every single time I tried to lose weight.

Except this time. My attitude is exactly what you just stated - "I will be happy for any loss as long as it is a loss."

So far, it's working. In the past three weeks I've lost 12 lbs. And, I haven't overdone anything. The first week I didn't follow any strict rules; I just got on the Wii Fit every day for 30 minutes and made smart choices when I ate. The second and third week I did the same thing, only I walked on the treadmill three days a week and cut back on the amount of carbohydrates. I have done nothing outrageous and I haven't pushed myself too hard, and I've managed to lose four pounds per week. And, I'm happy with that. A loss is a loss and that's all I can hope for. It's good you're doing the same because, and I promise you, it will work out to your benefit.

Good job so far though. Seriously, way to go.
 
Rufus, all the best for your weight loss journey...it's fantastic that you have already loosing weight...congrats!
 
Well, all, it is that time again and I am sorry for the delay but myself and my whole family have had the flu and it has been horrible. Well, I did my Sunday weigh in as usual and expected my 2lbs again. NOPE it was 3!! Woo hoo! Even being sick and drinking Gatorade for the dehydration, did not add a lb. So happy. So now I am down to 382.2. Can't wait for next Sunday.
 
~*Welcome!!*~ :seeya:

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You can do this! :hurray:

RE: slim fast : lol, I said the same thing! ;)
Something I do like and find very helpful/filling when I am in a pinch or feelin' icky (hard for me to eat breakfast...), is Sugar Free Carnation Instant Breakfast (the packets u mix up yourself) You get more for less since slim fast is so expensive and you get better nutrition. (loaded with vitamins and minerals.) I use skim milk and add to blender.. Skim Milk, 1 Packet, Fresh or Frozen Strawberries (Or banana; any fruit) and some ice.
Blend and you're done. Thick and filling... Also great for on-the-go if you know you're not going to take the time to prep a healthy lunch and sit down or pack one... That has saved me countless times from pulling into a drive-thru!
 
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