So I've always had an excuse for accepting my creeping up weight gain, always had an excuse about why its ok to devour family size portions of food and then some more food like its nothing, and through all the thoughts of promising to do better today I find myself at 260 lb @ 6'-0" when my optimal healthy weight is 195. I've never been this big before! I cant tell you how long ive been disgusted with my weight when ive never been big before until I got out of college. 210-220 was my typical weight as a young adult sometimes less, and it was 240+ when I hit the professional world. Just having to present myself to family members on vacations is embarrassing, and just my overall self worth is always low because of my weight. I've even felt some chest pains, which indicate what I already know that i'm getting too big and my BMI is too high. I always know that I can do better for myself, but for years now I've been unable to find the structure or will power in life to make a healthy change. Some of you can relate; that nagging thought of doing better for yourself that lingers on for years and years and effects your spirit! Where I live isn't ideal for healthy living (in fact the worst in the nation, MS) and I've had to deal with that, but now I choose to do better regardless of whether I hate running or not and regardless of whether there are enjoyable things to do outside (which there aren't here) or not. For the first time in a very long time, I have the structure, desire, and enthusiasm about weight loss and healthy living. My goal is to look like a healthy man again, and be presentable for my 10 year high school reunion this july as well as be presentable for job interviews when I get out of this place in the fall. I've been sticking to schedule and staying on track, and its very rewarding to be able to not give in to compulsion and laziness!