wish2bthin
New member
Here is my story short and sweet which is not like me at all but, it's too long of a story to explain in detail. I am a recovered anorexic/bulimic and for six long years of my life I was playing with fire with my life. I couldn't see the weight coming off and i kept on loosing weight. It was never enough weight. NO counselors could get to me and i almost died. I went to the hospital twice. I was threatened with feeding tubes and last summer i weighed 95 lbs. at 5 ft. 7. you may be wondering how i would have a weight problem and how do i need your help? Well here goes, my recent husband helped me like nobody else could. he got me over my fears and after three hours of tooth pulling he got me to eat in a restuaraunt for the first time in a long time. He held me back from throwing up and he helped me by talking to me about how i felt inside. he never gave up on me. After i went to the hospital in october i suddenly started to change my habits probably b/c they gave me medicine to help me slow down my thinking and eat better. It worked sort of, except i never ate more than 1,000 calories. I thought i was getting healthy when i put on 30 lbs. but, the medicine continued to put weight on me and the psychiatrists wouldn't take me off of it. I need the medicine to function b/c i was diagnosed with bipolar and that was causing the eating disorder. He said he would take me off in august if i gained anymore weight. Well i listened to people and kept taking the medicine and watching my caloires in a healthy way and worked out excessively and last night i had my husband weigh me in the workout room and it said the highest number that was my worst fear come true, 180. 180 lbs. 
i cried and ran off and cried for a few hours. i want my body back. i don't want to be unhealthy again but, i want to weigh what my body normally stayed at and that is 130 lbs. i am really active and i don't understand why they would let me get unhealthy physically. I have been in sports for as long as i can remember. i was a gymnast in middle school and high school and a track runner. and i swam laps.
well tonight , my husband and i are going walking at the park together and hopefully that helps. it's also very hot here like in the 90's to 100 degrees right now so we have a pool and i might swim laps in it like i did when i was a member at the ymca. i am getting goggles tonight or soon so that i can swim laps and i am going in the mornings so that i can feel safe eating b/c my first instinct is to starve myself b/c i am very good at that. i never go into a binge for some reason it's really easy for me to not eat than it is to eat. I am also going in the mornings b/c there are less people in the pool then. The pool is not our own but, the apartments. So wish me luck and i'll be here to support you too i just hope that i don't gain anymore weight and i can draw the line somewhere so that my eating disorder does not come back full force. i stopped taking my medicine for now b/c i ran out and i'm not taking it until i can see a counselor and a different doctor which i am working on. I am also thinking about going to the gym we have and working out on the elyptical and the treadmill and the bike. i might even rollerblade later, if i'm allowd to do that here.
i cried and ran off and cried for a few hours. i want my body back. i don't want to be unhealthy again but, i want to weigh what my body normally stayed at and that is 130 lbs. i am really active and i don't understand why they would let me get unhealthy physically. I have been in sports for as long as i can remember. i was a gymnast in middle school and high school and a track runner. and i swam laps. well tonight , my husband and i are going walking at the park together and hopefully that helps. it's also very hot here like in the 90's to 100 degrees right now so we have a pool and i might swim laps in it like i did when i was a member at the ymca. i am getting goggles tonight or soon so that i can swim laps and i am going in the mornings so that i can feel safe eating b/c my first instinct is to starve myself b/c i am very good at that. i never go into a binge for some reason it's really easy for me to not eat than it is to eat. I am also going in the mornings b/c there are less people in the pool then. The pool is not our own but, the apartments. So wish me luck and i'll be here to support you too i just hope that i don't gain anymore weight and i can draw the line somewhere so that my eating disorder does not come back full force. i stopped taking my medicine for now b/c i ran out and i'm not taking it until i can see a counselor and a different doctor which i am working on. I am also thinking about going to the gym we have and working out on the elyptical and the treadmill and the bike. i might even rollerblade later, if i'm allowd to do that here.
