New, somewhat knowledgeable but frustrated

S

SugarMagnolia

New member
I'm not quite sure if frustrated is the correct word, but I should introduce myself first.

I'm 22, starting graduate school in the Fall, and have managed to get up to 220 pounds over the past couple years. (I've lost 10 already, so I was about 230). I've done weight watchers, but haven't really done any other diets because I feel that they're kind of gimmicky. I've been a type one diabetic for about 14 years now (since I was about 8), so I know a lot about food, and it's easier for me to just count calories and make sure I get enough calcium and fruits and veggies and not worry about much else.

So this weight loss plan I've started, I stick to about 1300 calories a day and try to walk or workout on the elliptical machine every night. When I walk, I go about 2 miles. When I do the elliptical, I go about 30 minutes.

The problem I'm having, and I don't know if anyone else has this problem, is that well I didn't HATE myself before I started losing weight, I did recognize that I was over weight and I was unhappy slightly. Now that I'm losing weight, I'm extremely unhappy. I can't look in a mirror without wanting to cry, and I don't want to go out of the house really at all. I mean, I do, and I don't mind going to friends houses and things like that, but if they want to go to the bar, no way. It's not depression, more like anxiety. I just don't want to be seen in public because I just feel so bad about the way I look. It's not depression, I'm not THAT miserable or anything, I'm just having a bit of a hard time. I know that I'm losing weight, and I know that soon I won't be the weight I am, but the trouble is that I am this weight now and weight loss isn't quick. I know it's going to take some time.

The reasons I gained weight are kind of complicated. I had several medical issues related to the diabetes, and I had to get that under control before I could focus on losing weight. Then when I did lose weight, I got really sick for a while and had to stop. Now that things are under control, I can really work on it. So, while I admit that the weight gain is 80% my fault, I know I wouldn't be THIS weight if it wasn't for other issues as well.

(BTW, if anyone else is a diabetic, my hemaglobin A1C averages about 6.5, and it can't really go any lower or I have some issues, so that's under control and usually is)

Anyway, sorry for the long post. I was just wondering if anyone else has felt the way I do. I just feel so alone in this weight thing. All of my friends are about 120 pounds. I hate feeling like the "fat" one.
 
I understand what your going through. I avoid going out because of my weight too. You're just self-conscious. Here are a few suggestions to help you with that while you lose the weight:

1. Get your hair "did", nails done, a pedicure or buy some new clothes that fit and look good on you. This will make you feel more attractive.
2. Look on the mirror and focus on the features you "like". Don't even think about the flaws.
3. Hire a trainer, join a gym, or challenge yourself with more cardio and weight training. This will speed up your weight loss.
4. Find uglier friends. Lol! Just kidding!

Hope this helps. Good luck!
 
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Keep On

Don’t get down on yourself. Always remember that life’s a process and the process means it’s going to take time. By acknowledging that you are dissatisfied with your body you are taking the first step to attaining what you want your body to look like; it’s giving you a desire.

At night close your eyes and picture exactly how you want to look and feel.

Always feel good about yourself; for how you feel is what you are thinking of and manifesting the most. If you are feeling bad about yourself then you are thinking mostly bad about yourself and in return manifesting this. You can control your feelings because controlling your feelings means controlling your thoughts. Once you are able to control your thoughts, anything is possible. Always believe in you!! :)
 
Hey, sorry to hear you are feeling down on yourself. I had a similar experience, I was okay while I was heavy, but once I started shifting the weight I didn't want to go anywhere and I just wanted the fat GONE. Heck, if I go running I only do it after dark because I feel big and awkward.

I recommend tracking your details, this has helped me when I feel down, I look at the progress I have made, fiddle with charts and statistics in my spreadsheet, work out how long I have to go, record my distances and times for walking and running and so on. It helps me feel in control.

Great work on the progress so far!
 
Yep, I think it's pretty common. Before you decide to make a change you have in some ways accepted yourself as fat, you have to! Otherwise you couldn't face that image in the mirror.

But when you make that change, the commitment to really getting thinner, it's like a switch goes off, all that fat that you ignored or accepted before becomes very apparent and obvious.

As you struggle to see the real beautiful person under all the fat, you just can't wait...but you have to. So when you look at your reflection all you see is the evidence of past mistakes. You know you are on the road to health, but that's not obvious from the outside yet.

So pamper yourself, and resolve to eat even better to exercise to the optimal level. If you cannot be happy with the way you look yet, be happy with the way you LIVE! The beautiful body beneath will come out soon enough, you'll see!

David C
 
Thanks for the advice and motivation :) It means a lot. It's very frustrating, like I said at times, but I'm doing a little better now that I'm starting to really notice the weight loss :)
 
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