Need help with psychological effects of weight gain.

[Camelia]

This is the first time I've used a forum like this. I'm pretty sure I've just hit rock-bottom with my struggle with weight loss. I just caught myself in the mirror and was so shocked with what I saw. It's not that I don't look in mirrors, but I think I must have been in some sort of denial and didn't realise that I'd gained so much weight.


As if that wasn't bad enough, I have 2 weddings to go to in 3/4 week's time, and I don't know how I'm going to face them. They are both of people I haven't seen in years and they will be so shocked to see the new me. I'm not the kind of person that lets people down or cancels, but lately I've been turning down every invitation because of how embarrassed I am by my weight. I feel really anxious when I am forced into a public situation, and find it difficult to concentrate on anything other than how fat I look.


I mostly work from home, but have to work away now and again and it's becoming a real issue. I really don't know how I'm going to bring myself to go to these weddings. I used to be really outgoing, social, could speak to anyone, but now I do my best to blend in and not be noticed. I'm just not the same person and my friends who are getting married won't recognise me - neither physically, nor my personality.


I know that I can't change overnight and it will likely take a year or two to lose the 40lbs that I need to lose. But what do I do in the meantime? I just want to say I can't go, but as I said, I'm not the kind of person to let people down and keeping my word is really important to me.


I know there's no answer, I just have to do it. But the thought of going shopping for something to wear - which will only highlight how many dress sizes I've gone up, and nothing in the shops will hide how overweight I am - just makes be have a sort of anxiety attack.


Has anyone ever felt like this, and if so what did you do to get past it? Obviously I'm going to lose the weight, but how do I get past the psychological effects of hating my body so much that it's affecting who I am and how I live my life?

 

[Spinner19641]

You are becoming over focussed on your body weight and forgetting there is far more about you than your weight.


Try writing a list of all the things that make up you, your achievements, your strengths, the attributes that make you special and a valuable person in your eyes. This will help you get your weight into perspective. Sure, you might be a bit heavier than you want to be and you know that is something you can correct over time with a sensible diet and exercise programme but this is just a small part of who and what you are and why your are a good friend and person in life.


Dismiss overly negative thoughts and go forward with a well balanced and positive perspective about yourself.


I'm quite sure your friends would like to have you at their wedding regardless of your dress size and they won't judge you...they'll just be happy to see you otherwise they wouldn't invited you to their wedding!

 

[rainyforest138]

I understand this. Shopping when you don't feel like you will look good either way is a really sucky feeling, I feel the same in that position I would feel like having an anxiety attack too. Don't know if that helps but at least you are not alone in that. Just think about the way out of that.... each day that you take a step closer to your goal you will feel better just keep going and love yourself today just where you are. And yes I'm sure your friends will be happy to see you no matter what and you will actually feel better if you do get yourself out there.... isolation makes it harder. Although yes it is hard when you feel like hiding but the more you put yourself out there the better you will feel.