ssskinnyjeansss
New member
Let's see; where to begin. Enter an obese mother with Bulimia, and a father with Bulimia Nervosa, and what do you get? Me. I am a jigsaw puzzle that, upon completion, will create a "normal" healthy 19 year old girl from New England. I've been working on this puzzle for almost 2 decades, and as it got harder and harder I realized that perhaps some pieces were missing. I joined this site to try and find some of those pieces. I found one a couple of weeks ago when I joined the YMCA and met people of many different ages, sizes, and colors. All there for there their own reason: bikini body, baby weight, the last 10 pounds, exercise addiction, marathon trainers, body builders, future covergirl models, quest-for-lower-blood-pressure-elderlies, and myself. Why was I there? I suppose I'm still trying to figure out that very thing. I'd like to think that there's more to it than wanting to fit into a single digit pant size. I think I found that puzzle piece when I realized I just want to fit in (no pun intended) to my own skin. I've never felt right about it. The youngest sibling- third behind a model sister who even at FIVE months pregnant still has about 4 dress sizes on me, and an obese brother who just loved to point out how "fat I am for a vegan". He's really sweet. I also have a best friend (scratch that..>HAD a best friend) who wears a size 3 and works out compulsively to stay that way. We go to the mall and she says "ugh I can n ever find the size I want on these racks...'' I say..."I have to ask that mine be specially retrieved..because I am an 11, and those go up there" her eyes follow my plump little finger approximately 15 feet up. There lie the dusty last season jeans that most of "us" are too embarassed to ask for anyway- so we waste another 50 dollars on a 7 and call it a day. I wonder if Marilyn Monroe felt this way about her size 14's? Wasn't she the opitomy of beauty thougH? strange how the times change. Anyway- long story kind of short (i'm lying) I've never fit in to my own skin. As I approach the second decade of my life, with a cute little irish boy in tote, and a camera in my pockets at all times, I begin my journey. To get into the best shape of my life. Not only so I can wear those "ssskinnyjeansss" but so that I can feel comfortable. No longer the last one up the stairs (I have terrible asthma- even 30-40 extra pounds aggravates it)- I will accept my mythical trophy. I hope to find some other partial puzzles out there- that just might understand why I don't want to eat a cucumber for lunch, but sometimes I have to. A buddy (or 7) couldn't hurt along the way- so any advice or motivational speeches (totally welcome- no eye rolling I swear) are appreciated. I should get back to work now- after I apply some ointment to my blistered palms (holding onto the treadmill for dear life- is not the proper way to work out ....I learned the painful way).
Everyone is doing great, and I am so proud of everyone who has reached, or is working toward their own personal goal- whether it be for that bikini, or a little less wheezing on the way up the stairs.
Everyone is doing great, and I am so proud of everyone who has reached, or is working toward their own personal goal- whether it be for that bikini, or a little less wheezing on the way up the stairs.
