My journey with weight loss so far.

[br33d]

It's been about 8 months now since I have lost over 150 pounds.(I'm 19 birthday is in October) It's been a long and daunting task to get to where I am, one that I often times forget, caught up in this new self image I have created...necessary to become who I am today. A self image that I might never live up to, one that has grown many times since the time it was invented. It seems that every time I finally feel like I have lived up to that image a new one is created. The people who I find attractive now have completely changed, someone I found to be attractive at one time, no longer seem as beautiful as I remember them. I now have to compare myself to male models, I figure I am at least somewhat attractive at times because I was hired at A&F and have heard a few people mention how attractive I am. Either way.. is this just me realizing I have reached my limit in terms of appearance? I'm no longer satisfied when I look into the mirror most of the time, although sometimes I catch a glimpse of me that matches the new image in my head...Only to remember that in the end it doesn't matter, I know how hideous I look without a shirt. Who cares if when I have a shirt on it looks like I might have a 6 pack, and nice pecs, in the end I know whats really there. All the loose skin, and the damage that was done from being so overweight all of my life until now. That's what kills me inside. All of this work, all the energy spent...has led to this. Not only did I succeed in loosing weight I also succeeded in becoming a living lie. Oh and I just love it when I hear the occasional, "oh you don't look like you work at abercrombie" (usually from a high-school or younger girl" although I have heard the "oh, you totally have the look like work there"(from women 20+) Or when my best friend said that I have nothing now that I didn't have back then...maybe they are right... Long story, thanks to those who read it. I don't know what to do anymore, all I think about everyday is if people around me can notice the loose skin I have at my abdomen. I work as a server where I have to tuck in my shirt and all I can think about is if they can see the skin.. making sure my shirt is baggy enough. Thanks again, any motivational words or advice you can share with me would be greatly aprreciated!