My First Step

Salem827

New member
Hello Everyone,

My name's Claudette and I'm a mom of three boys two teenagers and one 9 year old, so here I am just a couple of days shy of 37 and suffering from stomach pain that comes and goes, so I'm thinking the worst! but after an ultrasound and endoscopy I was told by my GI doc I have an enlarged Liver..Due to "YOU GUESSED IT!" being overweight ok so maybe I've struggled my whole life with being a bit on the chubby side or a little heavy but not too bad.... Of course this is my own intepretation of what I think I look like. but im sure to others it was something else. Just those little phrases of admiting theres a weight problem make me feel awul and somewhat of a failure, and to enhance the problem Im a 44DD on top which only makes me look worse, for my height 5'1,

Brief history of my weight I am currently a size 14 was a 16 so perhaps im making small progress if any? Then again come those days of retaining water or perhaps not hitting the gym consistently and my jeans just fitting just a bit on the snug side makes those size 16 jeans look more appealing to me.

In 2002 I went from a size 16 to a size 10 in less than a year, but honestly this was due to a police officer I dated who wanted to mold me into what he wanted some ideal looking gal with an hour glass figure. So I admit I fell for the oohs and ah's but a nice reality check smacked me back into place of course it was another year later before that happened. Just saying that sounds so sad doesnt it? Well it probably was and perhaps my self esteem back then needed some boosting? Who knows..

I guess what I'm saying is I did the weight loss for all the "Wrong" reasons, I seem to yo yo alot I stay consistant with the gym for 3 months or so see some slight figure changes, then fall right off the wagon all over again. I try and eat right then get tempted to eat junk.. Hard to fight off with teenage boys who's metabolism i must say is much much greater than mine! :mad:


I've always thought of myself as attractive, to my boys I'm the cool mom who doesnt dress like a nerd or embarass them in public who they think is cute...a little heavy or not, perhaps I never really thought I had a weight problem because I tend to cover it up with the clothing I buy, but then thats always the eye opener too when your in the fitting room thinking your one size and reality is "Your Not" I would like to just be comfortable with me and work at a weight goal I know I can attain.

So I'm at my crossroad, I've come to realize I want to be a thinner me because of me, but also because I want to be healthy for myself and my boys. I am approximately 68lbs overweight. THERE I SAID IT! now its time to do something consistant about it. I hope that with this forum I'll get the support and encouragement I need to get me through this tough path. So any advice is welcome let the games begin! :boxing:
 
Welcome! The following was posted under another topic. It has helped me, hopefully you.

Best Wishes,

Carrie




We Fear Of Thin: Is It Keeping You Fat?
By Dr. Matthew Anderson
Exclusive for eDiets

Here are some tough but highly useful comments on why you may be having a terrible time losing weight. This information has helped many of my clients make great progress on their weight loss journey.

If you are fat then you want to be that way. Well at least a part of you wants you to be fat. I know your Conscious Mind tells you to lose weight every moment of every day. But there is another part of you that truly wants and maybe even needs you to stay fat, and it has quite a bit of control over your eating behavior. That powerful, but usually hidden part is called the Unconscious Mind. Your Unconscious Mind wants you to keep the weight on and it clearly has more power over your life than you realize. And in addition to that, your Unconscious Mind has very good reasons for wanting you to stay fat.

Here are some examples of the Unconscious Mind and why it may want to keep you fat.
You may fear your sexual energy.
You may have been raped and fat protects you from men.
Your self-esteem may be very low and you might actually feel undeserving of weight loss.
Your fat may be a way of resisting the growing-up process (baby fat) because adulthood seems frightening.
You may believe that losing weight might require you to make other scary or painful choices and changes (divorce, change jobs, lose friends).
Weight loss may require you to accept more challenges or responsibilities and staying fat then becomes a form of safety.
You may fear being seen and therefore judged.
The point is that each of us who has significant weight we have not been able to lose is invested in staying fat and until we discover these hidden wants, needs and fears we will be stuck in fat.

This information should help you finally understand why you try so hard to lose weight and then, without any warning, find yourself eating out of control. This is what happens when your Unconscious Mind takes over. It (for the good reasons I mentioned above) is very threatened by your weight loss and will not allow you to drop too many pounds without a tremendous fight.

OK, let’s assume you agree with me so far. Now what? How do you learn to deal with an out of control Unconscious Mind? I thought you would never ask. Here are some suggestions. They really work so make sure you do at least some of them.

Finish this sentence as honestly and openly as you can (25 times) even though your responses may seem strange at first.

The reason I want to be fat is…

If you stop before you reach 25 you will probably not find useful answers. The key here is to discover two or three meaningful root causes behind your weight gain. Trust me. They are there. Every significantly weight-challenged person has them. (Write down your 25 sentences and responses in full as you do them.)

When you have done the unfinished sentence exercise, pick the two or three most powerful answers and write them down on a separate page. This information could be the real key to your long-term healthy weight loss. Take it seriously.

Make a decision to do some serious inner work on these three most significant issues. What does that mean? You can start by writing a two-page description of each issue. Take your time and be as descriptive as you can. If you have trouble writing it then find a good friend and talk about each one with that person. The task here is to begin to "flesh out" the issue and explore how it affects you.

Now it is time for a book (or a tape). If you have clearly identified your issues then you will probably find a book on the subject. For instance, if your fat protects you from sexual advances then you can find numerous books that will provide you with support and guidance for healing. This may sound strange but it actually works. There are self-help books and thousands of subjects and there is one just for you. Go take a look.

These exercises will get you started. Be sure to do them. Then you will be on your way to discovering additional guides to help you heal or manage your unconscious desires to stay fat.
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I have been dieting for 18 years. I have lost and gained the same 100. As soon as I reach my goal weight, I get scared and gain it back. I have learned that I use my weight as a protective shell. I had some bad experiences with men. As long as I am overweight, men do not notice me. My self-esteem likes it that way. I know that I have to conquer this fear to have any long term success. I believe this article will help me and this forum.

Carrie
 
Hello Again Carrie,

I too have had some bad experiences with men, that have steered me towards food as a comfort zone, to make me feel better or safer, I too have fears that I need to overcome in order to achieve my weight goals and keep them. It is my hope that you and I succeed and look back at these postings and see how much stronger we became because of them!
 
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