My diary!

jmfischi36

New member
Hello All. I hope you guys enjoy reading my posts on my expected weight loss. Ever since I was a little girl I've always been fat or "big boned," as my mother would say. When I was in 7th grade I decided to go on the weight watchers diet although I didn't attend meetings, my brother went to the meetings and gave me all the information. I lost about 40 pounds in about 3 or 4 months and by the time 8th grade came around I was 5'10 weighing in at about 140 pounds. Losing that weight was the best and worst thing that happened to me. I became more popular, guys that were calling me "fat," the previous year were the ones begging me to out with them. However, once I started high school I started to get carried away. The weight loss comments had ended because everyone was used to my new figure so I decided to try and lose more and cut my total allowed points on weight watchers in half. I lost another 10 pounds. I remember my mom telling me that I looked phenomenol and that I didn't need to lose another pound. We went to the doctors for my anual checkup and the doctor told me to lose another 10 pounds if I wanted. Naturally in my head that meant I was fat. I started jumping rope, doing crucnhes, and replaced food with a scoop of peanut butter a day. I was down to about 115. Finally when my family began to notice I had nothing left and wasn't eating I got the help I needed.

Let me tell you, ever since it's been a cosntant struggle. I started to gain weight as soon as they found out because my body was in starvation mode for about 6 months! They monitored what my food intake ensuring that I was eating while making me see a counselor to track my progress. Once I gained the weight I haven't lost it since. I'm now a senior in college.

I've always tried to find secret answers and magic diets to work because I always felt i'd go back to starving myself. I've tried only eating soup, only eating chicken, only eating veggies...None of it worked for me. For 6 years following my starvation it seems like no matter what I ate, I gained weight. I still have the mind set of one with an eating disorder where I'm constantly worried about how I look, I always think everyones watching me because I'm fat, I never want to go to the bars because I feel like a blimp, I hate pictures because it makes me upset to see how big I've gotten...It's a battle

Over the summer I remember this guy I worked with this old jerk asked me 'when I was going to go on a diet and start working out." This one comment affected me in many ways. I felt like a failure. I cried like a baby for days. I responded with ..." I do work out." And he said "Psh...who are you trying to kid." This tore me apart. Hard work outs, followed by no results and then getting called out on it. Horrible.


However my friend decided to have a huge party in Decemeber and at the party I was planning on seeing people I haven't seen in years. A particular guy that I used to have a crush on. When I looked in the mirror the only thing that stopped me from being exctied was my body image. My sister and I decided to start working out hardcore in october. I've always worked out...atleast 5 times aweek, even through my heaviest stages. I had purchased turbo jam last year and did it but wasn't dedicated. We started just doing the 20 minute workout mixed in with about 200 crunches. After a week we bumped the crunches to 300, and kept doing till we were up to 700 a day mixed in with the 20 minute. A week before that party I saw my aunt and she hasn't seen me in quite some time maybe easter and she was blown away with my results. Weird thing is that I WAS eating just regular foods but always healthy stuff. She asked what I was doing and I didn't really have an answer because it didn't seem like I was restricted from much. For the party my confidence was outstanding...I fit into size 14 jeans which is great for me and felt I looked good. *the guy i was hoping to see had a girlfriend...* haha. Anyhow, late in decemeber I became more motivated, people were noticing my weight loss, and it was the reactions that I had been hoping for since after my starvation days. However, as of recently I've kind of stopped going out because I feel like I want to get skinny before I make appearances. I now do crazy workouts. I'm up to 2000 jump ropes, in 250-500 reps, 800 crunches, 45 minutes cardio, 20 minutes on the elliptical mixed in with turbo sculpt. I'm still eating and just love working out. I'd rather spend time developing a hot body for summer than going to the bar and drinking empty calories. So far I've los about 22 pounds and my ultimate goal is about 40.

Thanks for listening!!
 
Wow, that's a lot of working out you are doing. Wish I had that kind of dedication. Jumping rope is so good for you. 15 minutes of that is like 30 minutes on the treadmill.

Do you ever give your body a break?
 
Thanks. It's kind of like an addiction. I have an addictive personality. Days I take breaks I feel guilty but I'm pretty sure that's common. How often do you work out??

15 minutes= 30 minutes treadmill? that's out of control. However, my heart beats the fastest after working out.
 
Wow, your workout is phenomenal. But don't be so hard on yourself ,are you sure you need to lose weight now? Post some pictures, get some additional opinion - sometimes the idea of us being "fat" is so stuck in our minds that even when we do lose all the weight the idea is still there,and that can be dangerous.

Trust me, I so know what I am talking about [personal experience].

Have a nice day. :)
 
FreshStart,
I have people tell me I'm perfect all the time, but they don't see the me that I see. I have to feel comfortable in my skin, too! I weigh 27 lbs more than I want too, but because it's proportioned in a good way, most people can't tell. Yes for me, it's about the number and size of clothing that I used to feel comfortable in.

jmfischi,

I try to work out at least 6 times a week. I want Strength training 3 times MWF and cardio 3 times T/TH/Sat or Sun/T/Th. Sometimes I hit cardio and Strength in the same days, but that isn't often.

I guess if I made this more of a focus, it might help me since I have been stuck at the same weight since Jan 29..it's jumping between 2 stupid lbs, but I also have had mainly a caloric deficit in my diet so, I'm thinking that even though I just started out, my body is either reached a plateau already or I'm doing something REALLY wrong. But, I'm not discouraged. I know that I will get healthier and my clothes are fitting looser/better so I am keeping at it!

I could show you my strength training work out if you want.. Just let me know. You probably are already doing the things though.
 
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