My Big Fat Journal

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Pineola

New member
I have been looking around this site for the past few days trying to figure out how to get the most out of all the great support that is here. Yesterday I decided the diary would be the best for me. I like reading everyone elses and it seems to be a good outlet for me as I enjoy writing. I don't really have much to say right now except I appreciate all your stories and tips. I just wanted to get started. Bye for now. I have to go eat dinner! Ha!
 
we seem to be in the same boat! i've been wandering around this site, and today, i finally put up a journal. I'm hoping to get more support here than I do from friends.
 
Hullo there, you've definately come to the right place! Although my diary is 7 or so pages long now I only arrived here about a week ago. It's a really good thing that you've decided to bite the bullet and loose the weight and I wish you luck in doing so!:)
 
good

Good for you! This is a good way to get lots of support. It's fun to visit other people's diaries, and exciting to have others visit yours! Good luck with all your efforts!
 
I was surrounded by food yesterday and did pretty well. I went to a graduation party and a cook-out and ate only tiny portions of things I just wanted to try at the party. I probably ate too much steak at the cook-out, but I just had a little bit of rice and lots of asparagus and kept the alcohol to a minimum. I did participate in some Wiffle Ball, so I didn't just sit on my ass all day. Since I am keeping this journal to be honest and open with myself and others---I'll admit I participated in a 420 situation and that is not conducive to weight loss at all. I start looking for things to stick in my mouth without even thinking about it. This is already a problem for me since I quit smoking cigarettes recently. My main goal this week is to start going back to my gym. My gym is not a regular gym with showers etc... It is basically a store front w/exercise equipment, free weights, tanning rooms and a room for classes, heavy bag etc.... I was thinking of trying to go in the mornings before work which poses a problem with the no shower thing. I would have to come home, take a shower and then go to work which means I would need to get up at about 5:30am. When I told my boyfriend, partner, husband...or whatever he is (we have been living together for 7 years so I really hate to just call him a "boyfriend"--seems so casual..) I was thinking about going in the mornings, he told me it was ridiculous. I got all pissed off and told him sarcastically that it was a really supportive statement and I really appreciated it. He told me he was just being a realist. He is right really. I am a night owl. I find it hard to go to bed before 11:OOpm and I don't usually get to sleep before Midnight. In the past I have gone in the evenings, but as summer approaches it gets very hot in there and I can't stand it. I think I will try to go in the morning a day or two this week and see how it goes. If not, I'll suffer the heat. Bottom line....I have to get my butt in there as I have not been there for about 2 months. I also have a goal of getting 8 hours of sleep each night. I have been reading a lot about weight loss and the bodies rejuvenation process and it seems that 8 hours is essential.

Ok that’s all for now. I’m going to weigh myself next Friday and see how I do. Wish me luck!
 
I personally hate the idea of having to get my butt outta bed to go to a gym to workout.. Just the wasted travel time alone...ughh. So I use work out videos at home and I started out walking, but now I run. I HAVE TO do it in the AM or else I will never, ever do it. I don't know if work out videos even remotely interest you, but I like the variety ( I get bored VERY easy), so I use different videos all week and run everyother day. It helps keep me motivated and when the gym is right in my house I can't complain about having to get there, taking a shower, how hot or cold it is, etc...
If you are interested in videos check out , they list videos and actually show little clips from the tapes so you can decide if you like it or not. You can even pick up exercise videos at Walmart, but you'll never know if you like them until you get home. I buy most of mine from collage and some at stores. Hope it helps.
 
You're on the right track. And Spelin01 is right. There are lots of options that may make sense to you during the hot season.

We're there for you!
 
I'm not doing so good tonight. I was picking at the leftovers as I was putting them away after dinner. I also had a couple of cookies and a few Doritos today and should have only eaten 1/2 of the burrito I had for lunch. I've been thinking a lot about food today. How I love it. How I hate i t. How it makes me argue with myself about why I can eat something or shouldn't eat something. I believe I am addicted to it. I know I have always had issues with it. I have never been thin. At my thinest I would still consider myself to be 30lbs over-weight. I would sell my first born to be that thin again. Before anyone freaks, that is a joke....I don't have any children. I think I was left alone with food too much. I was a latch key kid of a single Mom who worked mostly evenings. I never saw her except for a few mins in the morning, a few minutes at night and on the weekends for many years. I don't think I even had a baby-sitter after 3rd or 4th grade. We didn't have much money, but we always had food! I think I must have ate when I was bored. I know I ate when I was stressed. I remember in 4th grade I ran away from school and went home. I was so scared that the school was going to call my Mom at work. I stared at the television shoving Ritz Crackers in my mouth. Seems like yesterday. Funny how you forget so much over the years and then little moments like that stick out in your head. I know I have to reverse that and try to never use food for anything other than fuel. I can only hope that if I can do that for long enough it will just come naturally.

I have also been feeling very negative today. I found myself reading some of the diaries and dismissing some of the folks that only need to lose 5-10lbs. This is terrible. Nobody likes to feel bad about themselves. If 10lbs makes you uncomfortable, it may as well be 50lbs....it is hard to get off and keep off without working at it and nobody's struggle should be dismissed.

I feel better now. On a good note. Portions are smaller (except for that burrito I ate) and I did do a workout last night and I will do a DVD workout tonight. Thanks for the link to that website Spelin01 and thanks for the encouragement everyone.
 
bad days stink

Bad days are so hard, but this one is done now, so you got through it. Put it behind you, and work harder tomorrow. Remember, you are already three steps (pounds) further along than when you started. The only way you can fail now is if you quit! Every day that you stick to it, you will be a little lighter, and a little healthier. You can do it!
 
I've lost weight a couple times before, and I've noticed that I'm always really negative at the beginning too. Sometimes it is so hard when you look at the task you've set in front of you... It is hard to be proud of yourself for losing a pound or 2 when you have 100 more to go. Luckily, I've found that the first time you see a picture of yourself and see the difference, or the first time someone comments on how it looks like you've lost weight, or the first time you notice that your clothes fit you a little differently- that negative attitude starts to diminish.
Keep up the good work- You can achieve your goal.
 
Thanks, Val and Twin.
I had a pretty good day today overall. I'm still a little down, but I think it is really PMS. I was on-line earlier looking at Fat Farms and crying a bit. I'm a mess. Tomorrow is the big weigh in. I didn't exercise hardly at all this week which was one of my goals, but I did drink a lot of water and ate pretty well. No major binges just a couple of sweet treats that I need to stay away from. I just need to keep telling myself it is a temporary pleasure that does not support me getting over my problem. Does anyone know anybody that actually went to a Fat Farm....or clinic as they call them on the websites?
 
OK, here it is. Yeah! Just think what it would be if I wouldn't have eaten those cookies and that roll this week and actually kept to my goal of exercising at least 4 days. I'm feeling a little more motivated today.
 
Hey- I don't know where exactly you live in the midwest- but there might be a Trader Joe's around. I live in the midwest too.
 
6 lbs?

You said here it is... but your ticker automatically updates all your previous posts, too, so I am guessing IT is 6 lbs? Is that right? Great job! Keep up the good work!!!

Oh, and no, I don't know anyone who has gone to a "fat farm", but I would say at this rate you can keep making healthy choices at home and do just fine!
 
Yes, I was talking about my ticker. I have lost 6lbs total since joining this forum. Thanks to all of you for your support. Valapalooza, thanks for the link. I don't live near one, but there is one in a town that I pass through a couple of times a year, so I will definately go there next time I do.
 
Hmmm how am I doing?

I have been trying to really pay attention to what is going on in my head all day when I find myself looking in the fridge over and over again. I fought off a binge the night before last. Actually had the bag of granola in my hand at 11:30pm and was ready to get the milk when I threw it down. I felt really good about that and tried to analyze what the difference was between that moment and moments I would have just said to my self that I would do better tomorrow or rationalized it in some other way. I sometimes can also just tell myself I don't care....I want to eat it. It is like a little kid in my head being defiant of myself. The one thing I have figured out is that I eat when I am bored. I am in serious need of some closed toed slingbacks. I have not been able to find any I like in the stores so I was looking on-line. While I was going through a hundred websites with no luck I got up and went to the fridge about 3 times. I just kept getting water and filling myself up with that in the place of food, but I found the whole scenario kind of interesting.

Yesterday I went to another graduation party. I purposely didn't plan on dinner because I knew I wanted to eat there. I didn't stuff myself, but once the meal was over and the cake-which I did eat, I proceeded to eat some mixed nuts w/bits of M&M's they had on the tables. I wish I would not have done that. Even though I did not eat as many of them as I may have in the past, I still ate them and now I am trying to figure out if I could throw down that granola...why not move away from the nuts. Seems like such a simple thing to do....millions of people do it....
 
Pineola said:
Seems like such a simple thing to do....millions of people do it....
Click to expand...

Don't worry about what other people do... You put down the granola and that is what counts... Your learning and i t's a slow process... celebrate the successes and forgive the slip ups- just learn from them
 
That's right!!! You are your own person with your own thoughts. Only you know what works for your body.
it is good that you do eat what you want, cause if you hold back at all times you are bound to binge.. It is a slow progress and you are doing a GREAT job.
That is how i did it at first. i would eat what I want but smaller portions and I would eat turkey meats instead of red, or low cal. suger free jello and puddings, etc.... Don't give, Stay POSITIVE.
Everyone has to start somewhere. Even the most fit people had to train themselves to eat better. Keep your head up and your legs moving:D Have a GREAT Day and Don't forget your WATER:p
 
parties

Parties are hard. So many snacks, and so much time to kill. Try to stay on track this week, and the slip up shouldn't make too much difference. :)
 
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