Motivational Techniques

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GoallessFool

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Hey all, im new to this forum but have been looking around and i really like the way it works everyone helping each other its great.

I am currently 18 years old, 5' 10', 230lbs...ive been obsessing about dieting and getting my act together for just around 3 years but to no avail. I eat a lot, probably around 4 or 5 thousand calories a day, just meal after meal. it's like a food addiction but i dont feel its really that serious just me liking the taste of food as im sure everyone else in the world does.

I have never been skinny in my life, in elementary school i was the kinda chubby kid, middle school the same little skinnier due to growth but still fatty, and now im high school i discovered weights in sophormore year so i gained some muscle and some shape but now the last year the weights have been like once every 3 weeks and the fat has just built up.

I like to think i have the build that allowed me have a pretty bad fat content but still appear to be a little skinnier than my weight would say, friends have guessed i weight 190lbs instead of the actual 230lbs...

My question is this, to all of you who take care of your bodies and know how to achieve weight loss through goal making, where do you get your motivation. You see, I tell myself everyday that my life would change forever if i lost a lot of fat, but i really have nothing concrete to compare that to. I've never been in good shape at all so i really don't have the motivation to complete a goal that I can't even visualize in the first place. And im a very black and white person so either its worth it and i can prove it or its not worth the trouble because there are too many questions left unanswered..."will it be worth giving up my favorite fast foods and extrememly large portions for a goal that is nothing more than a mental image based on imagination and non-factual belief"

sorry for kinda starting out my stay here with a large question but i really would appreciate some help in telling my fat-ass that the weight loss will be completely worth it even though i won't have anything to base that off of until the end...
 
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Number 1, stop being so hard on yourself. Would you talk about a friend the way you talk about yourself? Number 2, your life is going to change because of your perspective and perception of yourself and LIKING the skin you are in.

4 years ago I weighed 237 as a 5'8 female, I was in a miserable marriage and felt that I was worthless. I was sure that if I lost weight and became super model thin my life would then be GREAT. I lost the weight and guess what? I still felt worthless. No quick fixes and I had to face the fact that I really needed to validate myself instead of going for the external validation. I still struggle with this but I have definitely made progress.

Now I set goals to do what I once thought was impossible. Start small and change some habits. Really focus on what you are eating and why and move your body. All or nothing attitude is a setup for sure failure. Do you have a physical goal? Walk a mile? Do 10 pushups? Set and meet that goal and then increase it. Always go for something just out of your reach at the moment and work towards it. Also be kind to yourself and count all the things you LOVE about YOU.

Whatever you want enough you will get it.
 
I was the same kid, 40 years ago. I'm 6'2" and weigh in a touch under 270 right now, and it's ugly. 9 years ago I was 185 and probably in just about the best shape I've been since I was in my teens. I worked at a demanding job, with lots of strenuous activity, walking, lifting, and long hours, but I was always involved with physical activity. It got me in shape. I quit working for a couple of years, and started down the road I'm on right now. I can't walk across the room without being winded, forget about stairs, can barely lift 50 pounds. I'm pre-diabetic, hypertensive, and obese. I love to eat and never worried about calories or the balances that you need to maintain fitness. You get the picture ?

The decisions you make now WILL affect you for the rest of you life. Goal setting is easier than you think. What do you want ? That's your goal, it's that easy. Do you want to look better, feel better, have more endurance, be stronger ? Only you can set your goals, because you know what matters to you. How do you do it ? I took a present day photo of myself and taped that ugly sucker to the mirror in the bathroom. Right next to it I taped a picture of me 8 years ago. Motivation enough for me. I also taped a list of my goals next to the pictures. Everyday, when I look at that mirror, I see where I am, where I've been, and how I'm going to get there. It works for me.

There are a ton of resources out there, you just have to use them. There is more nutrition information available now, than ever before. This site and many others can help with your diet and nutrition questions. The Mayo Clinic has an excellent site, with information based on science and years of experience of many medical experts. The US government site, has a free exercise and nutrition on-line tracking program, you can't beat the price. Wherever you live there are usually community based programs, usually free or very reasonable, that teach diet and healthy eating habits. Some even allow you access to training facilities. Pay for a session or two with a licensed personal trainer. It will help you learn how to exercise correctly and help with your training schedule and goal setting. Sign up for a gym membership, if it's available and affordable. You have 3/4 of your life in front of you, what you do now will shape your life and your enjoyment of it, for the rest of it.
 
Goal setting is paramount to the success of any weight management program. However, your goals have to be very specific, measurable, and realistic. You want these goals to help you maintain a strong focus on where you are going.

Short term goals - Write down what you want to acheive each day. For me, it's always about what exercises I want to complete, how many calories I want to burn, and how many calories I want to take in. By linking together these daily goals I can reach my weekly goal.
My weekly goal is normally to lose between 1 and 2 pounds. I realize this doesn't sound like much but healthy weight loss is slow and steady. You need to maintain (even grow) lean muscle mass. Any more than that and it's likely you're losing more than fat

Do similar goals monthly and yearly. Once you see some success with this you will more than likely choose this lifestyle over your previous and the pain you're linking to breaking your fast food habit will fall by the wayside.

Speaking of your food addiction, while I know it's difficult to imagine giving it up, in order to succeed some sacrifices need to be made. I know a lot of folks find it hard to quit anything cold turkey, however, I will tell you that supporting any addiction in moderation is somewhat torturous. Everytime you let yourself indulge you're psyche will begin to want it more and you'll become frustrated from 'denying' yourself. It's like continually going through withdrawl. My advice on this one is to just stop eating fast food. In less time than you think you will be completely over it. In fact, once you learn about eating right and feel the positive effects, it's more than likely that you'll wonder how you ever ate it so often.

There are a few ingredients you need, but the upside is that it's 100% possible to get down to what you consider your ideal weight.

I've mentioned this before in numerous posts, but you need to start with education. Understanding the science behind diet and exercise will fuel you to success. Goal Setting will be your road map to get there.

Finally, to your original question about motivation- There is NOTHING more motivating than results. Let yourself experience a few weeks of positive results and you'll be hooked for life.

Best of luck.
 
very cool thank you for that advice. my only real concern about my weight loss is how ive gotten into a cycle of doing a perfect measurable diet of 2000 calories a day with weight lifting and cardio and all that, usually that lasts for like four days before something comes up that ruins it like going to a skinny friends house who doesnt care about dieting, or even just not feeling like stressing today about eating when i can just eat and relax about it.

The longest ive lasted with a perfectly organized diet is a month and i did experience great mental benefits, i just felt more positive and happier. I lost 20 pounds but the problem was i looked completely the same as when i started, if anything just a very slightly smaller version of the man boobs and round stomach. that kinda ruined my mindset of maintaining a healthy eating plan if even after a month i felt no different at all.
 
There are some great answer's here. but there are 2 things that get my ass moving.

so first... how about this. did you know that from the time you were born till the time you will die you have approx 29,000 days? Hmm...

You're currently 18... almost 20. that means almost 1/3 of your days are OVER. That's not many left. You either DO something NOW or you wither away.

Second... I have this sentence written on my white board in BIG BOLD red letters...

"DO I want to live a LAME life?"

I can't miss it. Sometimes it pisses me off. But the reason it pisses me off sometimes is when I haven't done anything productive that day. And lately... these days are diminishing.

Go figure.

If you want more help check out my fitness report. It's a free download. if you got questions you can email them to me. I don't want to turn my post into a novel ;)
www [dot] flawlessfitnessbook [dot] com

Good luck buddy.
 
The answer to this is difficult and different as your mature. I keep on telling my nephews and nieces that you see life Differently from 0-9, 10-19,20-29, 30-39, etc..

Dude, you are only 18 years old; only a pup and growing into a MAN. There are soo many changes going on around you, inside of you, everything. Things are confusing and convaluted. Back at your age, my motivation was Anger like the Hulk. I got pissed, I lift until I am calm. If my gf (at the time) pissed me off, I lift.. My parents got on my back, I lift. School frustrated me, I lift. At your age, I lift to relieve stress but this kinda of motivation is tricky as one can easily get injured OR get your workout partner injured. I pushed a few of my workout partner past their limit and they wound up hurting their shoulders.

Nowadays, I still lift and more often but not from anger but instead meditation. Yes, I mediatate when I lift. This is not possible right? Mediation is suppose to calm you down and slow you down whereas weight-lifting require maximal effort. Here is the trick. Mediation is just letting everything go and focusing internally on yourself, usually your breathing. When i lift nowadays, the world around me dissapear and all that I see / focus on is my form, breathe, and the muslce that i am working on. After one-two hours, I am tired, sore but mentally I feel soo much better.

For you, just try to get yourself to the gym and workout for at least 40 minutes. I mean really workout, not talking or watching TV. You outta be sweating for at least 30 minutes. The first week is going to be painful and ever bone in the body is going to hurt. Do not give up, do not surrender into the pain. Instead keep on pushing yourself and after 2-3 weeks, your body adjust and the pain becomes a welcoming soreness of a good workout session. The trick is to get past the first 2 weeks of working at least every other day.

Btw, I agree with Mel Def's post 100%. Learn to love yourself!!!
 
lakshmi_shegar said:
Hi Fitslug,

I did go through your site it was really useful. I practice meditation to keep my body and mind fit.

Thanks,
Click to expand...

Appreciate that, glad it was useful to you. Fitness starts in the mind IMO.

And Tic has a great point. Age can play a big role in your success. At your age I wouldn't rush things at all.
 
Motivation?

Life is short, live it before you die. Reach the goals you want to reach before your chance is taken away from you. Picture yourself and imagine how you would feel if you we're in the shape you've always wanted to be. Imagine the amount of pride you would get from such an accomplishment. Imagine the amount of self-respect and self-confidence you would have with yourself when you obliterate your goals. Feel your goal as though you we're 5 minutes away from it. Look at other people who have been in your shoes and have been successful at turning their health around 180 degree. Smack yourself beside the head and tell yourself to wake up and smell the coffee. :D

Use everything you have at your disposal. Music, friends, proper diet, hold yourself accountable by making a journal on this forum and make daily updates, set your goals and time frame, list the reason why you should do this, look at yourself and ask yourself if this is who you want to be. I dare you to dedicate your life to this goal for the next 6 months. Put several hours per week into self-education, diet and working out. And most importantly, know this: If you SIMPLY keep at it and never stop, your goal will reach you before you reach it.

Turn your goal into a life-style and habit and it will be effortless.

The longest ive lasted with a perfectly organized diet is a month and i did experience great mental benefits
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If you make it too perfect it will be too much work and you will want to stop since it will be soooo darn boring. Make it as general and as simple as you can.

Your number one goal should be to stick with your new and soon to be healthy lifestyle. Consistency is the BEST quality to have when going with these things.

Good luck

P.S. It won't be easy, it will be painful - from beginning to end, you're going to have to want it and want it BAD. At times you will feel like quitting, don't give up, cause in the end the results will outweigh all the pain and effort you put into this ten fold. Your achievement will be so great that it will inspire others to do the same.

Now, get to work :boxing_smiley:
 
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