Miss Havisham
New member
I've come to the conslusion that if I don't do something about my weight and health soon I will be alone for the rest of my life...much like Miss Havisham from Great Expectations. Hence my screen name. And I am not talking about just romance, but any relationship. When I am unhappy with my weight I isolate myself from everyone because I feel like a failure. After all, who will love me if I can't love myself?
My weight has yo-yoed nonstop over the course of my life (I'm 32). When I say yo-yo I don't mean back and forth with 20 pounds. I do it to the extreme--from 5'10 and 135 to 5'10 and 310 and every weight in between. And I am so sick of it. I am sick of being embarrassed to see anyone. I am sick of feeling like I am being judged and dismissed by every person who see's me. I am sick of dreading special events, or any event in my life. And I am sick of always scrambling to find something to wear that is appropriate to the situation and fits me. The stress of that is unbelievable and is made worse when I consider that I have a closet full of expensive clothes that don't fit--they are all size 10. And I am sick of being the only fat person in a family of thin people.
Right now I am at my heaviest and am worried about not only my weight but my health. It is time to make a lifestyle change and stop this insane pattern of mine. I am sick of losing weight then maintaining for a couple of years and then gaining it all back and more. How many times am I going to do this to myself?
My goal is to be a size 10-12. It is going to be a long road but I can't take this anymore. Sometimes it seems like it is going to be such a long road that I will never reach the end of it. I try not to think that way but it sneaks up on me. In the past I've always done this alone. I am hoping that having support/motivation and knowing I am not alone will help.
My weight has yo-yoed nonstop over the course of my life (I'm 32). When I say yo-yo I don't mean back and forth with 20 pounds. I do it to the extreme--from 5'10 and 135 to 5'10 and 310 and every weight in between. And I am so sick of it. I am sick of being embarrassed to see anyone. I am sick of feeling like I am being judged and dismissed by every person who see's me. I am sick of dreading special events, or any event in my life. And I am sick of always scrambling to find something to wear that is appropriate to the situation and fits me. The stress of that is unbelievable and is made worse when I consider that I have a closet full of expensive clothes that don't fit--they are all size 10. And I am sick of being the only fat person in a family of thin people.
Right now I am at my heaviest and am worried about not only my weight but my health. It is time to make a lifestyle change and stop this insane pattern of mine. I am sick of losing weight then maintaining for a couple of years and then gaining it all back and more. How many times am I going to do this to myself?
My goal is to be a size 10-12. It is going to be a long road but I can't take this anymore. Sometimes it seems like it is going to be such a long road that I will never reach the end of it. I try not to think that way but it sneaks up on me. In the past I've always done this alone. I am hoping that having support/motivation and knowing I am not alone will help.
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