Merewen's Diary

M

Merewen

New member
ARGH!

Okay, here I go! I'm going to start writing all this down publicly and then maybe I can finally hold myself accountable for my eating.

Like I said in my intro thread, I've lost significant weight before, and I kept it off for three years. Yay me!

Except now, I've backslid horribly, and the stress eating is back. I want this weight back off.

Yesterday I ate a giant chocolate chip cookies (the equivalent of probably three), cranberry and chocolate trail mix, a cheeseburger and fries, talipia and rice pilaf with veggies (okay, that part was good, but I ended it with a slice of chocolate cream pie). I won't yet get into what I've done to myself today.

Of course, I ate all of this at the hospital after Dad's cancer surgery.

I'm frustrated with myself for stress eating. I know better than that. I know I feel better when I eat better and exercise. Heck, I've even exercised at the start of migraines and managed to thwart 'em before. So how comes, when intelectually I know what to do, I can't make myself do it anymore?

Bugger. Back home this evening, and back to the drawinb board, 'cause that pack of M&M's didn't help any. =P
 
Hi there! I hope your dad is going to be ok. Don't feel down about the way you've been eating. Also, don't expect to change your entire lifestyle overnight. Big changes take time. Start by seting small goals for yourself to work toward that you know will help you feel better. Lots of small goals=the big goal.

Good luck and I hope to follow your progress!

Sarah
 
Finally, a minor bit of headway

Well, Dad, after a severe set-back post-surgery, is out of the hospital. He's got a long row to hoe, but he's getting there. He has lung cancer. By sheer miracle (they x-rayed his chest looking at something else), they caught it at stage 1. He's missing part of a rib, and part of a lung, and facing a short-round of chemo, but very good prognosis in the long run.

I ordered two cookbooks for him and Mom, with recipes that are tummy-soothing for chemo patients, and recipes for during and post-treatment. While I was looking, I came upon a cancer-prevention cookbook. Of course, I still have to read it, heh... Given I grew up on second-hand smoke, that my father has had two forms of cancer (skin cancer at age 11, lung cancer at 69), HIS father had cancer (bouts with prostate and ... oh gosh, one other kind at 70, stomach cancer at 80), I need to seriously take control. There's just enough family history to up my odds to an uncomfortable level.

Even if I don't lose weight (which i really want to do again), I at least need to get healthy. And my daughter's other side of the family has cancer in it, too, so I do need to be an example. If eating certain types of foods can be part of the key, then I need to do that, and teach my daughter to do that.

Anyway, short-term goals, I want to get a few pounds off so I'm more mobile again and more comfy. I've had rheumatoid arthritis since I was three, so extra weight always hinders my mobility. Anyway, this morning, cornflakes with Splenda for breakfast. At lunch, I fought the urge to go to McDonald's, and had a South Beach orange beef and vegetable meal instead. I also picked up some roasted almonds to snack on. So, mild progress today, but progress nonetheless. I resisted the quarter pounder at least. :p

I'm starting a new job in three weeks, and I have a bunch of great suits from 30 pounds ago. I want to eventually be able to wear 'em again. I won't have the weight off in time to wear the summer stuff, but maybe by late fall, early winter, I'll be back in my size 12 Spenser Jeremy, bwa ha ha. Right now, though, I haven't been a size 18 for ... oh man, 3 1/2 years? Argh. But hey, at least I didn't have to get all the way up to size 28 again to get a reality check.

Anyway, a minor victory today, but a victory still.

I just have to have more good days.
 
Glad to hear your Dad is doing better. I'm not sure who this Spencer guy is, but I bet he's been waiting for you to! You sound like you know what to do, you just need to do it, but that's the hard part isn't it? Good Luck!
 
Hi, Merewen! Just stopping by to say "hi." I've been having a real problem with willpower too. We just have to try to take small steps forward and not get too discouraged when we don't do as well as we'd like. Tomorrow is a new day! You're doing so great! Keep up the good work, and have a great weekend!
 
yes, glad to hear your dad is doing good.

step by step, hopefully when you're feelin stressed you can get to you diary and see how many people are here for you.
 
stress

I hope that your dad recovers as quickly and smoothly as possible, and that you are able to pursue your weight loss goals in spite of the added stress in your life. Lean on your friends for support when you need it, and don't give up! You CAN make healthy changes in your life, and we are behind you!
 
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