jennifish_01
New member
My Medifast is in the mail.
I thought I would start a blog to keep myself and everyone else updated on my progress. I have not received or started the product yet but in an attempt to ready myself... here I am.
I have been searching for something to help me be the person I know is inside this body. I cant sugar coat it for myself anymore. I am FAT and I'm NOT ok with it.
I see the way the world has become. Fast food is cheaper than home cooked food; every advertisement in front of me says "buy one get one free!" or "simple and easy!" or some other quick catch phrase that makes me want to say "YES!" to temptation instead of "Holy hell, I am not gonna put that 'Big Texas' special burger with ten layers of meat and a hefty side helping of heart attack in my body."
Think about the most recent fast food commercial that you have seen. Who are the actors? Fat depressed people looking to satisfy a chronic, morbid urge? Absolutely not! They are skinny, happy people who are hanging out with friends and being super social and comically ironic. So whats the message? Come eat our disgusting food and you will be able to be just like them!! YAY!! Its like a saving grace! "You mean, I DONT have to feel like a gluttonous failure if I go get a McCheese to satisfy myself??"
I, for one, love to blame the advertisers and the companies that want to capitalize on my obesity (and oh, how they do). I love to blame the addictive additives in the delicious fast food that conquers my will every time I see the golden arches or the lovely purple bell. I also love to bitch and complain about how little time I have so I can excuse myself for making lousy food choices and in turn, sentencing myself to a rotten death filled with prescriptions 20 times daily for cholesterol, triglycerides, indigestion, blood pressure and umpteen other horrible "FAT" related illnesses.
Ok, I'm not trying to make anyone feel suicidal here. These are just the thoughts running through my brain as I try to weigh every reason that I SHOULD stick to my Medifast against every reason that I SHOULDN'T. What I am discovering is that there are no reasons that I shouldn't. There are only excuses and none of them are worth my life.
I am sitting here feeling moody and depressed a bit and I cant help but to acknowledge the fact that all the crap I have put into my body, today alone; not even counting the past 20+ years, has messed with me and my hormones so badly that I am not even me. I do not belong to myself anymore. I belong to all the people that I love to blame. I belong to my ego. After all, it is my ego that gives me the courage to look at myself in the mirror every morning and smile. Its not genuine though, its a lie I have developed over the years to help myself cope. I'm damn good at it too.
See thats what I dont get. Its a catch 22. People get fat and they have low self esteem and then they find ways to cope and tell themselves that they actually like who they are and that they are at peace. So that is giving in. Im not saying that a fat person is not a person of substance. I am a fat person of substance (too much substance in one way). But I love the thoughts in my head, I love the ideas that I get. I love my emotions and the way I feel so passionately. I know that regardless of my appearance, I have a lot to contribute to society and the world that I live in. But thats not at all what I am talking about here. Here and now I am talking about the way my physique influences my health and my head and how I have chosen right now, this exact moment, to break free from my ego, from my lack of will power, from my desire to take the easy road.
Im going to do this Medifast weight loss plan but that is only the vessel. The means by which I become who I wish to be. I will no longer sit peacefully in the corner of life that being fat has placed me into. I refuse to watch life and everyone in it pass me by happily while I sit aside trying not to be noticed. Im gonna cry a little, maybe a lot. And Im gonna wish I had never written this blog to begin with because I have given myself something to live up to. I am going to want badly to quit at one point and/or another. But I have set my goal in front of all who happen upon this blog... so here I go. Wish me luck. And please dont hate me for being so pithy and depressing just now. LOL I am a happy person about 98% of the time. I will publish a photo and starting stats when I get the product.
<a href="http://www.tickerfactory.com/weight-loss/wRZusKC/">
<img src="http://tickers.tickerfactory.com/ezt/t/wRZusKC/weight.png" border="0" /></a>
</span>
I thought I would start a blog to keep myself and everyone else updated on my progress. I have not received or started the product yet but in an attempt to ready myself... here I am.
I have been searching for something to help me be the person I know is inside this body. I cant sugar coat it for myself anymore. I am FAT and I'm NOT ok with it.
I see the way the world has become. Fast food is cheaper than home cooked food; every advertisement in front of me says "buy one get one free!" or "simple and easy!" or some other quick catch phrase that makes me want to say "YES!" to temptation instead of "Holy hell, I am not gonna put that 'Big Texas' special burger with ten layers of meat and a hefty side helping of heart attack in my body."
Think about the most recent fast food commercial that you have seen. Who are the actors? Fat depressed people looking to satisfy a chronic, morbid urge? Absolutely not! They are skinny, happy people who are hanging out with friends and being super social and comically ironic. So whats the message? Come eat our disgusting food and you will be able to be just like them!! YAY!! Its like a saving grace! "You mean, I DONT have to feel like a gluttonous failure if I go get a McCheese to satisfy myself??"
I, for one, love to blame the advertisers and the companies that want to capitalize on my obesity (and oh, how they do). I love to blame the addictive additives in the delicious fast food that conquers my will every time I see the golden arches or the lovely purple bell. I also love to bitch and complain about how little time I have so I can excuse myself for making lousy food choices and in turn, sentencing myself to a rotten death filled with prescriptions 20 times daily for cholesterol, triglycerides, indigestion, blood pressure and umpteen other horrible "FAT" related illnesses.
Ok, I'm not trying to make anyone feel suicidal here. These are just the thoughts running through my brain as I try to weigh every reason that I SHOULD stick to my Medifast against every reason that I SHOULDN'T. What I am discovering is that there are no reasons that I shouldn't. There are only excuses and none of them are worth my life.
I am sitting here feeling moody and depressed a bit and I cant help but to acknowledge the fact that all the crap I have put into my body, today alone; not even counting the past 20+ years, has messed with me and my hormones so badly that I am not even me. I do not belong to myself anymore. I belong to all the people that I love to blame. I belong to my ego. After all, it is my ego that gives me the courage to look at myself in the mirror every morning and smile. Its not genuine though, its a lie I have developed over the years to help myself cope. I'm damn good at it too.
See thats what I dont get. Its a catch 22. People get fat and they have low self esteem and then they find ways to cope and tell themselves that they actually like who they are and that they are at peace. So that is giving in. Im not saying that a fat person is not a person of substance. I am a fat person of substance (too much substance in one way). But I love the thoughts in my head, I love the ideas that I get. I love my emotions and the way I feel so passionately. I know that regardless of my appearance, I have a lot to contribute to society and the world that I live in. But thats not at all what I am talking about here. Here and now I am talking about the way my physique influences my health and my head and how I have chosen right now, this exact moment, to break free from my ego, from my lack of will power, from my desire to take the easy road.
Im going to do this Medifast weight loss plan but that is only the vessel. The means by which I become who I wish to be. I will no longer sit peacefully in the corner of life that being fat has placed me into. I refuse to watch life and everyone in it pass me by happily while I sit aside trying not to be noticed. Im gonna cry a little, maybe a lot. And Im gonna wish I had never written this blog to begin with because I have given myself something to live up to. I am going to want badly to quit at one point and/or another. But I have set my goal in front of all who happen upon this blog... so here I go. Wish me luck. And please dont hate me for being so pithy and depressing just now. LOL I am a happy person about 98% of the time. I will publish a photo and starting stats when I get the product.
<a href="http://www.tickerfactory.com/weight-loss/wRZusKC/">
<img src="http://tickers.tickerfactory.com/ezt/t/wRZusKC/weight.png" border="0" /></a>
</span>
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Good luck, and I look foward to read about your progress!